Intimacy in Marriage

BETTER Sex in Your Christian Marriage

3 Sexual Things Way More Important Than Penis Size

married-couples-who-have-great-sexPenis size. What’s with this fascination with penis size?

I could probably write an entire blog post digging into the historical obsession about penis size.

Men seem to be way more obsessed with this than women are. By and far, it is men who equate penis size with sexual prowess. Sadly, pornography has perpetuated this myth.

Any woman who has had sex knows penis size matters little in comparison to the lovemaking experience as a whole.

It’s not the penis that matters, but the man behind it.

To be fair, I think many men outgrow this relatively adolescent idea that a bigger penis is always better—in lovemaking and in life. Penis size says nothing about your skills as a lover; and it says even less about your “manliness” or ability to hold your own in a street fight or boardroom negotiation. It says nothing about your motivation to be a good husband, good father and good friend.

From a sexual standpoint, I would be remiss if I didn’t point out a bit of irony. A man may think bigger is always better, but if his penis is quite large, that actually may make lovemaking more challenging. It’s not to say a husband and wife can’t work through this, because plenty do, but not without a lot of patience and practice.

There are many wives who have thought less would actually be more—less penis length and girth would mean more pleasurable lovemaking. Braggadocios locker room banter about penis size probably doesn’t take that into consideration.

Anyway. There are things more important than penis size.

3 Sexual Things Way More Important Than Penis Size

1. Do you trust each other?

Do you trust each other enough to be vulnerable? Have you been transparent about your deepest insecurities and your deepest desires? I think one of the most genuine and rawest longings of the human heart is to feel safe with another person.

There is no room for pretentious ego in authentic lovemaking in your marriage. Just as a man should not be arrogant about his penis size, a woman should not be arrogant about her breast size. Who we are at our core is not defined by our body parts.

A husband and wife who have developed deep abiding trust know that enjoying each other’s bodies fully is the benefit of knowing each other fully. Penis size gets no starring role in this love story. Penis size wouldn’t even be listed in the credits.

2. Are you teachable?

How teachable are you sexually? Do you and your spouse seek to understand each other sexually? Sex isn’t only intercourse; yet generally speaking, we collectively as a society tend to think of sex in that regard. A penis entering a vagina.

Phenomenal lovemaking is multi-faceted. This whole idea that you can reduce it down to a one-dimensional aspect like penis size is so short-sighted. Great sex involves engaging all the senses in an entire body experience.

And let’s not forget that when we are talking about genital stimulation, a woman’s clitoris is located right near the opening of the vagina. Deeper and harder thrusting is not a sure thing when it comes to helping her experience a clitoral orgasm.

So here’s why teachability is so important.

You have to seek to explore each other’s bodies, give and receive feedback and grow in your sexual muscle memory, so to speak. What works for the two of you sexually? What do you each enjoy? How does foreplay play into whether a sexual encounter is going to be amazing or just okay? How well do you communicate what you like and don’t like sexually?

Obviously, there is a lot to think about that goes way beyond penis size. I would even fathom to say penis size becomes a non-issue when you become adept at being teachable.

Great sex is a learned behavior. You don’t arrive on the scene knowing how to be a great lover. Your penis size guarantees nothing.

3. Do you understand all you can do with the penis?

By this point in the post, you may think I’m downplaying the penis. Not the case at all. I’m actually quite a big fan! I am a penis-positive wife for sure. I just think we are too narrow focused with it. This point really could build off the “teachability” point, but it deserves its own limelight.

There’s a lot you can do with the penis in addition to intercourse. Not only can a wife enjoy pleasuring her husband’s penis by the way she touches it with her hands, mouth and body, but a husband too can enjoy pleasuring his wife with it. He can use it as a tool in his hand to stimulate her clitoris and nipples. Through his body movements, he can move his erect penis along her clitoris.

You get the idea. A little creativity goes a long way. For more reading along these lines, I highly recommend the post 5 Godly Ways to Reach Orgasm Besides Intercourse.

My hope always is that if a husband and/or wife think penis size is super important, they grow beyond that. There are things way more important than penis size.

For more great reading on this topic, check out these posts:

Never Miss a Chance to Learn About the Penis

Husbands, It’s Not Just What You Do With Your Penis that Makes Her Pleasure Intense

The Penis Book: Great Read on Something that is Sometimes Hard to Understand

For more reading, you can cruise through my list of past posts, as well as my page with a bunch of posts on orgasm.

And I have a 5-video series available on building better sex in your marriage. Great way to invest in your marriage!  You can find out all about it at this link:  Better Sex in Your Christian Marriage.

Copyright 2020, Julie Sibert. Intimacy in Marriage Blog. Links may be monetized.

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September 15th, 2020 by