While I know the common belief is that it is only husbands who want more sex, I recognize that the opposite scenario also happens.
I do hear from wives who want more sex and overall intimacy and aren’t getting it. Not surprisingly, these women feel especially alone. Not only are they not experiencing the benefits and love of sexual intimacy with their husbands, they also may feel isolated and surrounded by friends who simply cannot relate to that situation.
Regardless of why sex isn’t happening in a marriage or who is doing the denying, the answers are rarely easy. Each marriage is unique, so it comes as no surprise that any problems within a marriage also will have unique complexities.
If you are a wife whose husband is sexually unavailable, below are some links to posts that may be helpful:
5 Things to Guard Against as a Wife with a High Sex Drive
Husbands Who Deny Sex and the Wives Who Suffer
When Your Spouse Isn’t Interested in Sex
Wives Who Want More Sex and Aren’t Getting It
Wives Who are Sexually Refused
When She Has the Stronger Sex Drive (Part 1)
He Doesn’t Wanna, But I Do (Part 2)
When You Crave Sex More Than He Does
I Can’t Remember The Last Time My Husband Touched Me
I Can’t Remember The Last Time My Husband Touched Me (Part 2)
How To Get Him to Want to Have Sex
When She Has the Stronger Sex Drive (Part 1)
When She Has the Stronger Sex Drive (Part 2)
Help! My Husband Doesn’t Want Sex
It Hurts: A Message for Higher-Drive Wives
I Am the Higher Drive Spouse (or Yes, Rejection Hurts)
The Other Side of the Coin: Why Guys Say No to Sex
Spice and Love Blog written by a wife with a high sex drive If you know of other blog posts, please let me know so I can add them to the page!
Pingback: Gateway to Great Sex With Your Husband? | Intimacy in Marriage
Pingback: Husbands Who Deny Sex and the Wives Who Suffer | Intimacy in Marriage
Pingback: 30 Dates in November: What About Sex? | Becoming His Eve
Pingback: 4 Ways to Better Understand Your Husband, Day 18 | Becoming His Eve
Pingback: Female Sexuality in the Christian Church, Part One: Drive and Desire | Em Speaks
Pingback: Hey Wives, Stop Looking at Sex as Duty | Intimacy in Marriage
Pingback: 5 Ways to Unlock Your Libido | Hot, Holy & Humorous
Pingback: When You Crave Sex More Than He Does
Pingback: When You Crave Sex More Than He Does | shhhdating advice
Pingback: As a Wife, Do You Want More Sex Than Your Husband? | Intimacy in Marriage
I need help.
I’ve lived with my boyfriend for a few years lately he’s been more deep into his porn than trying to figure me out sexually or at all. I’ve been very direct as to what it is I want and even still when ever we have sex which is very little ,maybe twice a month we completely skip the foreplay so afterwards I’m left feeling very unsatisfied. I’m left wanting more and I’ve brought this up to him many times but nothing changes. I am completely to the point where I do not find sex enjoyable with him anymore.. is there any saving our sexual relationship if he doesn’t see the point of foreplay . He says porn doesn’t play at all into this but I find that hard to believe . I just need to know more so than if it’s normal is this healthy? And should I just leave
@Erin … You deserve better. Obviously I can’t tell you what to do, but from what you have described, I encourage you to seek God’s heart and word. He designed sex for marriage, and commands husbands and wives to treasure it as a sacred exclusive connection. Pornography destroys intimacy, trust, and authentic connection. If your boyfriend sees nothing wrong with pornography now, it is doubtful he will see anything wrong with it in the future, unless he has a change of heart and embraces how God views sex. And God designed sex for marriage, not for people who are casually dating or living with each other. He did this not to limit us but to protect us from the harmful impact of sex outside of marriage. When a husband and a wife mutually value sex and seek to keep all third parties out (including pornography), they deepen their intimacy.
Hello,
I’m Brittany. My husband and I have been married for 6 years. Before marriage, and the first 2 yrs after marriage we had sex all the time. He would touch me, and show me so much affection. I felt loved, beautiful, and wanted.
Unfortunately, after 2 kids I noticed that he stop everything. He barely touches me. I usually want to make love and he completely rejects me. This feeling of being rejected constantly has taken a tool on me emotionally. I don’t feel beautiful anymore. I feel ugly, unwanted, worthless, lonely, and completely ignored. I love him so much and would like for us to seek some help. He refuses to see someone about it. He makes up so many excuses, and believe me I have heard them all. I don’t think he’s cheating, or has a porn problem. I’m not sure that I can contiue to put up with the constant rejection. I cry myself to sleep almost every night. I just dont underatand. He says that he is still attracted to me. But his action show me different. Please I need some advise!
Hi my name is Taylor me and my husband hAve been married for 5 years. Back in December my husband kept turning me down anytime I made sexual advances toward him. He uses every excuse possible I’m hungry I’m too tired I’m not read for bed and it can already be 11 or 12 at night. I went and took a shower and shaved everything and put on sexy lingerie and tried to get him to have sex with me and he turned me down. He turned me down for like a week straight. Then I got my cycle got done with my cycle. Tried again got turned down twice then we had sex the next morning which is the only time he ever wants to do anything in the morning with his morning wood. Also another issue it he has a personal bubble and doesn’t like affection or giving affection so I have accepted that and put up with it and the only time I ask for it is when we have sex. Except for he doesn’t like kissing or touching my body he says it doesn’t turn him on and it’s not a part of sex. And he quit doing all of that when he was in the teenie bopper stage. He’s the only one who can give this type of intimacy and connection to me but yet he deprives me of it because he’s not a touchy feely person. He says kissing and touching doesn’t do anything for him. So am I just supposed to accept this…. is this how sex is supposed to be no kissing or touching or foreplay? I don’t know what to think anymore…. and in all time that he was turning me down because he was stressed or all the other excuses… he could still masturbate. I know he’s not cheating. But I don’t know what’s wrong or if I’m wrong or what.
Pingback: 5 Signs Your Husband May Be in a Sexual Desert | Intimacy in Marriage
Pingback: Is Your Husband Tired of Begging for Sex? | Intimacy in Marriage
Pingback: 4 Devastating Assumptions About Sex In Marriage | Intimacy in Marriage
Pingback: Do You Deny Your Spouse Sex? 3 Questions to Ask Yourself…
Pingback: A Few GREAT Posts Worth Revisiting…
Pingback: 3 Things the Other Woman Wants You to Know About Your Husband and Sex