authentic, body image, intimacy, orgasm, passion, sex, sexual intimacy, Uncategorized
3 Sexual Things Way More Important Than Penis Size
Sep
Penis size. What’s with this fascination with penis size?
I could probably write an entire blog post digging into the historical obsession about penis size.
Men seem to be way more obsessed with this than women are. By and far, it is men who equate penis size with sexual prowess. Sadly, pornography has perpetuated this myth.
Any woman who has had sex knows penis size matters little in comparison to the lovemaking experience as a whole.
It’s not the penis that matters, but the man behind it.
To be fair, I think many men outgrow this relatively adolescent idea that a bigger penis is always better—in lovemaking and in life. Penis size says nothing about your skills as a lover; and it says even less about your “manliness” or ability to hold your own in a street fight or boardroom negotiation. It says nothing about your motivation to be a good husband, good father and good friend.
From a sexual standpoint, I would be remiss if I didn’t point out a bit of irony. A man may think bigger is always better, but if his penis is quite large, that actually may make lovemaking more challenging. It’s not to say a husband and wife can’t work through this, because plenty do, but not without a lot of patience and practice.
There are many wives who have thought less would actually be more—less penis length and girth would mean more pleasurable lovemaking. Braggadocios locker room banter about penis size probably doesn’t take that into consideration.
Anyway. There are things more important than penis size.
3 Sexual Things Way More Important Than Penis Size
1. Do you trust each other?
Do you trust each other enough to be vulnerable? Have you been transparent about your deepest insecurities and your deepest desires? I think one of the most genuine and rawest longings of the human heart is to feel safe with another person.
There is no room for pretentious ego in authentic lovemaking in your marriage. Just as a man should not be arrogant about his penis size, a woman should not be arrogant about her breast size. Who we are at our core is not defined by our body parts.
A husband and wife who have developed deep abiding trust know that enjoying each other’s bodies fully is the benefit of knowing each other fully. Penis size gets no starring role in this love story. Penis size wouldn’t even be listed in the credits.
2. Are you teachable?
How teachable are you sexually? Do you and your spouse seek to understand each other sexually? Sex isn’t only intercourse; yet generally speaking, we collectively as a society tend to think of sex in that regard. A penis entering a vagina.
Phenomenal lovemaking is multi-faceted. This whole idea that you can reduce it down to a one-dimensional aspect like penis size is so short-sighted. Great sex involves engaging all the senses in an entire body experience.
And let’s not forget that when we are talking about genital stimulation, a woman’s clitoris is located right near the opening of the vagina. Deeper and harder thrusting is not a sure thing when it comes to helping her experience a clitoral orgasm.
So here’s why teachability is so important.
You have to seek to explore each other’s bodies, give and receive feedback and grow in your sexual muscle memory, so to speak. What works for the two of you sexually? What do you each enjoy? How does foreplay play into whether a sexual encounter is going to be amazing or just okay? How well do you communicate what you like and don’t like sexually?
Obviously, there is a lot to think about that goes way beyond penis size. I would even fathom to say penis size becomes a non-issue when you become adept at being teachable.
Great sex is a learned behavior. You don’t arrive on the scene knowing how to be a great lover. Your penis size guarantees nothing.
3. Do you understand all you can do with the penis?
By this point in the post, you may think I’m downplaying the penis. Not the case at all. I’m actually quite a big fan! I am a penis-positive wife for sure. I just think we are too narrow focused with it. This point really could build off the “teachability” point, but it deserves its own limelight.
There’s a lot you can do with the penis in addition to intercourse. Not only can a wife enjoy pleasuring her husband’s penis by the way she touches it with her hands, mouth and body, but a husband too can enjoy pleasuring his wife with it. He can use it as a tool in his hand to stimulate her clitoris and nipples. Through his body movements, he can move his erect penis along her clitoris.
You get the idea. A little creativity goes a long way. For more reading along these lines, I highly recommend the post 5 Godly Ways to Reach Orgasm Besides Intercourse.
My hope always is that if a husband and/or wife think penis size is super important, they grow beyond that. There are things way more important than penis size.
For more great reading on this topic, check out these posts:
Never Miss a Chance to Learn About the Penis
Husbands, It’s Not Just What You Do With Your Penis that Makes Her Pleasure Intense
The Penis Book: Great Read on Something that is Sometimes Hard to Understand
For more reading, you can cruise through my list of past posts, as well as my page with a bunch of posts on orgasm.
Copyright 2020, Julie Sibert. Intimacy in Marriage Blog. Links may be monetized.
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All true, I’m sure. That said, my wife has told me thousands of times over the 20 years we’ve been married how much she loves my size and what a difference it makes. I am fortunate to be 7″ and have the girth to go with it and I agree that it’s how you use it but my wife would say size is nice.
You know when I write about our sex life and I’m in that kind of mood I could write books. But the most amazing thing about our sexlife is we have total trust that faithfulness is never an issue. Not many wife are as free sexually as my wife. Yet we would never talk sex with family or friends because truthfully I think we would be judged for it and maybe the judgement would stem from jealousy. A huge penis in a small women is a skill. But make do just fine.
So glad you addressed this hard topic. Indeed, I’d say you covered the long and short of it, with some straight-up advice. 😉 Well done!
Having been with a handful of men in my youth, some of them over a period of months and years, I can say my most difficult experiences were with the “well-endowed” man. Length, girth…all just too much although he was otherwise skilled. Also, I’ve found that a woman’s body does adapt with time. After being in a long-term relationship with a man who had larger girth but average length, it was an adjustment in my marriage to a man with less girth but also average length. In a short time, my body adapted and I couldn’t be more pleased.
My wife’s size is very small but it used to be no problem. But I think now because our frequency has diminished, intercourse is a challenge because she is always too tight and dry. She won’t allow fingers in her to help the situation.
In fact she won’t allow just about anything in our experiences other than my penis in her vaginal area. Sometimes that’s not enough to get my nature ready, so to speak. Her refusal to use hand or mouth on me is a source of much frustration and painful humiliation. I asked if she realizes the Bible teaches that the marriage bed is undefiled, and that the spouse’s body belongs to their spouse, and that oral sex is in the Song of Solomon? I asked her why she wouldn’t allow my mouth on her genitals. Her answer (getting past her sour faces) was (1) germs, and (2) not romantic. I need some medical answers for #1, and some advice to help her overcome #2.