body image, orgasm, passion, sexual intimacy struggles, sexual struggles, Uncategorized
Cleanliness is Oral Sex Friendliness
Apr
I could print that on t-shirts. Or keychains.
“Cleanliness is Oral Sex Friendliness.”
Okay, maybe not t-shirts or keychains. But towels? Yes! Towels are a possibility.
As obvious as it should be that personal hygiene makes oral sex more enjoyable, some people still miss this point. And then they wonder why their spouse isn’t overly eager to go down on them.
I’ve long said that showering together is great foreplay. When both a husband and wife come to bed clean, the inhibitions are already lowered right out of the gate.
You feel clean. You smell clean. You are clean. (No surprise, my post Clean Sex: Why Hygiene Helps Keep Things Hot gained a bit of momentum).
If you can’t shower together, then showering or bathing separately is another option before crawling beneath the sheets and into each other’s arms. Personal hygiene and profound lovemaking make for good bedfellows.
But I’m a realist and I know that showering before sex isn’t every married couple’s thing, and it sometimes isn’t practical time wise.
Or you’re already rounding the bases with some hot and heavy spontaneous foreplay and a sundry of clothing is strewn across the floor, and who really wants to pump the brakes to go take a shower?
Not me.
Still. This point remains. Cleanliness is oral sex friendliness.
So if you and your beloved want oral pleasure in the repertoire of your sexual intimacy fairly regularly, show some friendliness for your spouse and take to heart the below:
1. Clean everything.
If you know you’ll be intimate, shower if you can. If that’s not a possibility, at least use a warm wash cloth to thoroughly clean your genital area and anal area. It takes hardly any time yet can do wonders for making your spouse feel valued and respected.
2. Groom in a way that pleases your spouse.
Ask your spouse if they would like you to trim pubic hair or shave or wax your pubic area. My friend J has written a few posts on this, including Trimming the Hedges and What About Manscaping. She and three other fabulous sex bloggers also have talked about it in their Sex Chat Podcast episode Tending Your Garden.
I remember being at a birthday party, having a conversation with two other gals (both of whom are married and their husbands were at the party too). Somehow (don’t ask me how) we got on to the topic of bikini waxing. More specifically, we were talking about a Brazilian wax, which removes all the pubic hair front to back. One of the women in the conversation had had a Brazilian wax.
Right at that moment, the woman’s husband walked up and she shared with him the topic of our conversation. His face lit up with a huge smile, and he said, “Yeah, that was so hot! I loved it!” He even elaborated specifically that he loved the way it felt for him when they were making love.
Genital grooming really is a personal preference sort of thing, so talk to your spouse. Find out what they would find sexy and share your preferences as well. Or maybe try some grooming techniques and then evaluate.
A full on Brazilian wax isn’t for everyone, but there are a lot of options between that and doing nothing.
3. Consider the health benefits.
For women in particular, cleanliness in the genital area can spare you urinary tract and bladder infections. This is one of the reasons I wrote the post Doing This Before and After Sex Can Save You A Lot of Pain.
It just makes good sense that when everything below our waistline and above our knees is clean, there is less likelihood of unwanted bacteria in the area. If you are prone to urinary tract infections, you know how painful they can be. You and your husband can help keep these at bay by coming to bed clean.
Long ago, a good friend and I were having a conversation about oral sex and I mentioned I loved it, and she asked for clarification, “Giving or receiving?”
“Both!” I said enthusiastically. And I think part of the reason why is that cleanliness is a non-negotiable for my husband and me.
After all, “Cleanliness is Oral Sex Friendliness.”
(Towels printed with that would make a good wedding gift, right?! Okay, maybe bridal shower gift!)
For more reading on oral sex, check out these posts:
6 Ways to Enjoy Giving Oral Sex to Your Husband
Great Oral Sex On Vacation. Or at Home.
How to Give Great Oral Sex to Your Husband
Copyright 2018, Julie Sibert. Intimacy in Marriage Blog. Links may be monetized.
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I love this! Great tips, and yes, oral sex is so much easier and fun when both of us are fresh out of the shower (ok, ok, or in the shower too! LOL) . Definitely, a great read! ~ Johanna
p.s. I think the wedding gift idea is awesome, or it would even work for a fun anniversary too!
Showering regularly is great.
However the rest of your post could be a bit confusing for some. Removing pubic hair has nothing to do with cleanliness or hygeine. Microcuts in the skin can lead to boils etc.
It is thought that pubic hair may play a similar role to eyelashes and nose hair….it is a potential barrier to irritants and pathogens. Pubic hair removal is possibly associated with increased risk of bacterial vaginosis and yeast infections.
It is thought that pubic hair removal can alter the natural bacteria in such a way to increase the likelihood of either UTIs or STIs.
There is a clinical trial going on right now to study these very issues.
Remove pubic hair or don’t, but I wish people would stop with inferring pubic hair removal with cleanliness and hygeine.
It’s just amazing to me that you haven’t been scooped up to write for Hallmark! 😉 Thanks so much for the shout-out! I agree with all your points.
This is super insightful. Great post. And kute. Thanks for sharing.
Don’t tell Napoleon! He wrote to Josephine to tell her that he was coming home and not to wash. Talk about being in a small minority.
Cleanliness is really important especially with sex. If the partner is not that good with hygiene, the wife or husband can tell it to their partner. This will improve their communication and intimacy which will lead to better sex.
Very good post. Yes, it really does make you feel more at-ease if you know you’re clean down there. Or else you’ll just be worried about it and won’t enjoy the moment. And I honestly prefer oral sex over regular sex (as far as pleasure goes). I think women who don’t receive it are truly missing out. It’s the only thing that’ll make me orgasm. Is that normal? Hopefully that could one day change though as me and my husband keep practicing normal sex, hah, cuz we’re fairly new at it. I do still like normal sex, don’t get me wrong. There’s more of a connection and oneness with it. Oral is more of a pleasure thing.
This sums up my sex life. It’s always been obvious to me that I want her to be clean thus I’ll be more attractive if I am too, and if I want her to go down on me when she is not feeling like anything herself, this is conducive for it.
Both my wife and I are serious about cleanliness and conscious of smell. As one of the senses it only goes to say that good smells attract better than bad ones, or the absence of bad ones at least lend to further continuing encounters. Duh.
It astounds me though how many guys do not seem to get this, though this no longer helps me in getting any these days, with my wife pursuing her own hobbies and interests that she literally has no time for our marriage.
It takes two to tango, and no matter how much of a great husband or wife you might be, if the other is not reciprocating it’s over red rover, your just roommates with one slowly dying.
Rookie To be honest for many years now I have been giving some fantastic orgasms by performing oral sex on my wife. She just loves it that I enjoy arousing her bits. She’s always cleanly washed and shaven. I take my time. Then after she has had a thrilling orgasm it’s her turn to treat me. She will often say come claim your prize. Sometimes we wait 10 minutes and I will try giving her an other orgasm with my penis inside.some times I try giving a second round of oral but mostly she returns the favour or I just go inside and give lots. She even lets me ejaculate on her face.
. I love the idea that rookie knows oral sex is special. We didn’t know till 25 years in. Each couple will have different ways of enjoying each other’s bodies. As far as it being the only way to orgasm you should ask if your husband could really slow it down and think about his penis inside you while hes down there. When your nicely arroused ask him if he would like to come inside. You need to know the best position for good clitoris contact. Maybe even from behind????
I often write about the beauty of sex. But the beauty of sex is only achieved when the emotional connection is maintained. For us the physical could never happen without healing the state of the emotional. Forgiveness appreciation thankfulness giving without expecting an instant reward. These are the things that healed our sex live. Every couple I’m convinced have opticals to over come
Does anyone have advice for if your husband doesn’t think you taste good? Does showering help prevent this or is it more in the actual odor of arousal fluid?
Obviously written by and for westerners.
Start using a handheld bidet, everyday and always.
That way, you never miss out.
Nice.