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My original idea was to have a headline along the lines of “the sexiest way a wife can worship” or “the sexiest way a wife can honor God.”
The Internet being what it is, I thought those headlines sounded either boring or over-spiritualized or (strangely) not about sex at all.
So I didn’t complete the headline and hopefully you will read on.
There are few things I want to talk about more than sex in marriage and how to make it authentic, mutual and mind-blowing. Maybe what I write today will stir your heart and transform your marriage.
I offer 3 ideas below, but certainly this is not an exhaustive list.
Of all the comments and concerns I hear from husbands, the one that tops the list is not feeling sexually desired by the woman they love and married. For most husbands, sex is never just about sex. I actually wrote a post giving credence to this titled It’s Not Just About the Sex, Is it Guys?
It’s ironic to me that while there is much focus on how men tend to compartmentalize (put things in their little boxes and never shall the boxes overlap), I find that sometimes it is WIVES who compartmentalize sex too much.
They berate their husband for wanting sex, lamenting “that’s all you think about!” Or they succumb to his sexual desires out of obligation only, whereby sex becomes something to just check off the list — “give him what he wants and then move along” attitude. She does it, but doesn’t really show up.
But when you pursue your husband sexually and genuinely enjoy that time together, you are agreeing with God — worshipping God, really — and taking to heart the profound positive influence sex has on your marriage beyond the act itself.
You honor God, your husband, yourself and your marriage when you make love.
Sexual climax was God’s idea — for husbands and wives! Your clitoris serves no other purpose but your sexual pleasure. And suffice to say, when we appreciate God’s attention to sexual detail, we are worshipping Him authentically.
Too many wives downplay the significance of their sexual pleasure, claiming instead that kind of sexual release and intensity is really just for the man. Nope. It is for you too.
Now I’m not naive. I know the penis typically is more predictable than the clitoris and that it is not always easy for a wife to experience an orgasm. Climaxing and learning how to more easily orgasm is a beautiful mix of art and science.
I have devoted an entire page on my site to orgasm, so if this is an area of struggle for you, I encourage you to read those posts. Good stuff on the Orgasm Page. You also may learn from 3 Reasons Your Husband Likes It When You Climax.
Worship God. Enjoy your orgasm.
This builds on the first two points, but deserves its own scrumptious attention as well.
Sexual confidence is sexy. And it is one more way that we wholeheartedly agree with God that His design of sex in marriage wasn’t just for procreation, but also for oneness and strengthening to the marriage covenant.
So what do I mean by sexually confident?
For one, you have to stop thinking about what other people would think if they knew what you did in bed. Sexual intimacy in marriage offers us opportunity for variety in sexual pleasure and touch, all within the exclusivity of our marriage.
For guidelines on what is sexually permissible within a marriage, as well as some ideas on variety, I cover quite a bit in this post: Sexual Intimacy Variety… Want Some?
Sexual confidence is not only about exploring what turns your husband on, but also about communicating to him what turns you on.
Sexual confidence is alluring. And it has nothing to do with what society holds up as sexy — the right clothes, the right body shape, the right make-up. If body image is a struggle for you, I beg of you to please please please read all of the below posts:
The Secret to Stopping the Body Image War
5 Fabulous Truths About Sex You Won’t See in a Romantic Movie
Body Image: The War Between Feeling Shame and Finding Freedom
Are Body Image Issues Destroying Sex in Your Marriage?
As a Christian wife who speaks about sexual intimacy in marriage, I am passionate about helping women see that nurturing sex and enjoying it is part of God’s design for marriage.
God could have done things however He wanted to. I mean, He is creator of the universe after all. BUT He specifically chose sexual intimacy as one of the key markers that sets marriage apart from all other relationships.
We would be careless worshippers if we overlooked that He tells married couples to have sex and have it often. And we would be careless worshippers if we didn’t do all we could to nurture that intimate relationship to the best of our ability.
For more awesome reading on this, be sure to take a look at these posts:
Copyright 2017, Julie Sibert. Intimacy in Marriage Blog. Links may be monetized.
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