I have the best friends. And today my lovely blogging comrade J. Parker of Hot Holy & Humorous is delighting us with the below post. Enjoy!
Not surprisingly, the gal with a blog titled Hot, Holy & Humorous loves to grin, snicker, and laugh about sex. I’m hardly the only one.
Sex itself has some humor involved—naked, odd positions, body sounds—but in a sexually healthy marriage, you likely have your own inside jokes, too. Such humor can increase feelings of exclusivity (we’re the only ones who know) and intimacy (we mutually share these moments).
Here are three areas in which you might have inside jokes about sex.
Things were going well right up until:
Your skin friction made a farting sound
Someone fell off the bed
She sneezed on his penis
He had a leg cramp
The kid walked in
The T-shirt thrown over the bedside lamp caught fire (true story from a friend)
_____ [fill in the blank]
In the middle of it, the blunder may have been funny or not so funny, but later on it’s a memory you two look back on and laugh about. “Remember that time we broke the bed at your parents’ house?” Hahahahaha.
Inside information about one another’s bodies and habits can be a source of mutual amusement. Perhaps it’s a purely sexual feature, like the lean of his penis (“lefty” or “righty”?) or the way her nipples perk up just so. It might be that one hair on his chest that grows longer than all the rest or the dimple in her bum. It could even be something like that weird noise he makes right before climax or that she must have a fan on during sex.
Or maybe, like my husband and me, you’ve adopted a sense of humor about your bodies as they age. Things don’t work quite like they used to, and gravity can be a literal drag, but you’re going through it together with a smile.
Whatever the aspect, you two see its humor and share an easy laugh. You may even play it up, such as her saying, “Hey, lefty, how about I straighten that out for you?” or both of you cracking up when climax is accompanied by his unique growl.
Speaking of playing it up, humor and flirtation go well together.
Maybe you have pet names for each other, euphemisms for sex acts, or funny phrases to initiate sex. These inside phrases create an atmosphere of sensual playfulness between husband and wife.
Need some ideas? Check out one or more these posts to get inspired:
Lean into your own language of playful flirtation that makes you both snicker. Make sure, of course, that your inside jokes are mutually appreciated and positive. If only one of you is laughing, it’s not funny.
But cultivating a shared sense of humor can foster greater intimacy in your relationship and your bedroom.
J. Parker started Hot, Holy & Humorous as a blog with the goal of helping others understand God’s design for sex in marriage. Since then, she’s published over 900 blog posts, written five books, released 80+ podcast episodes with Sex Chat for Christian Wives, and launched online communities for both husbands (with a cohost) and for higher desire wives. But her goal remains the same: helping you embrace God’s blessings for your marriage bed. J has a personal story of sexual redemption, holds a master’s degree in counseling, and lives in Texas with her fabulous but oh-so logical husband, “Spock.”