Intimacy in Marriage

BETTER Sex in Your Christian Marriage

3 Must Haves to Make Your Bedroom a Sex Haven

sex-haven-bedroomMy friend J. Parker of Hot Holy & Humorous suggested this post topic. I was desperate for post ideas in a moment of exhaustion…yet still determined to not miss a day of blogging this year.

J. and our comrade Chris Taylor of Forgiven Wife fame responded mightily to my text plea and rattled off a plethora of ideas. These gals rock. Simply the best.

So, today I will do what I think are 3 “must haves” to make your bedroom a sex haven. But I challenge J. Parker and Chris Taylor to also do posts at some point, sharing what they think are must haves to make a bedroom more conducive to sex.

And then all of you faithful readers can chime in with your must haves. Before long, all our bedrooms will be irresistible sex havens. And what’s not to like about that?!!

So here goes.

3 Must Haves to Make Your Bedroom a Sex Haven

1. A lock on the door

I guess we could argue this only applies if you have children or roommates or house guests. So if you have none of those, feel free to ignore the necessity for a lock. You don’t need one.

The rest of us who don’t live alone need one.

There’s just something about the reassurance that no one can walk in on you during sex. Nothing like an 8-year-old meandering in at an inopportune time to kill the whole sex haven vibe. I speak from experience on that one. And we have a lock! We just forgot to use it that night.  Alls well that ends well. You can read about it in my post The Sad Little Lock Someone Forgot to Use.

Locking your bedroom door when you and your spouse are having sex relieves you of the worry that someone will walk in. Less worry leads to less stress leads to better sex. “That’s a scientific fact, if I’m remembering how deductive reasoning works,” said the journalism major.

Science aside, just make sure you have a lock on the bedroom door (and that you actually use it). Your sexual intimacy will be better for it.

2. Comfortable bed and bedding

You will not find a bigger fan than me of investing in a quality bed. If you are like most couples, nearly all of your sexual encounters happen on your bed. Not only is a quality bed good for your sleep, but it’s also fabulous for your sexual intimacy.

If a bed and the bedding (pillows, sheets, blankets, comforters, etc.) are all comfortable and pleasing to you, then the bedroom is going to be more inviting for sex.

If, on the other hand, you aren’t thrilled with your bed—or worse, you hate it—then getting busy beneath the sheets…you know, the scratchy annoying sheets…won’t be high on your list. I’m sure that can be proven by science too, but I’ve already played the science card, so we’ll just move along.

Let’s just say I knoweth of what I speaketh. We haven’t always had a great bed, but about 10 years ago, we invested in an amazing bed. Worth every penny. Worth every good night’s sleep.

Worth. Every. Orgasm.

For more on the importance of a great bed and bedding, check out the below posts:

Want Better Sex? Invest in a Better Bed

3 Ways to Make Your Bed More Sexually Enjoyable

3. A towel

Seriously. We keep a towel next to our bed at all times. Just makes more sense to me to make love with something protecting the sheets than to deal with navigating a wet spot when trying to sleep afterward.

It wouldn’t have to be a towel, of course. You could have a sexy sex blanket. Or the wedding quilt your grandma made for you. Well. On second thought, that might not scream “let’s get it on!” as much as one would hope.

Anyway, you get the idea. Having something to deal with the messiness of sex frees up your mind and heart to focus on what’s way more important, like foreplay and passion and reveling in sexual pleasure.

So keep a towel or something similar near your bed. It’s a must have, in my opinion.


Okay, one more MUST HAVE: Candles. I prefer the battery-operated ones, which are quite convincing these days. They flicker like real candles. All the sexy romantic atmosphere with none of the fire risk. Score! (And by score, I truly mean SCORE!)

Okay, I’m tapping out. Rumor on the street is I might get lucky tonight. And by “rumor on the street,” I mean “casual conversation with my husband in the driveway this afternoon.”

For more reading, check out my post Making Your Bedroom a Great Place for Sex.

J. Parker and Chris Taylor, you’re up! What would you say are must haves in the bedroom?! Do tell.

For more reading, you can cruise through my list of past posts, as well as my page with a bunch of posts on orgasm.

Copyright 2020, Julie Sibert. Intimacy in Marriage Blog. Links may be monetized.

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September 4th, 2020 by