authentic, body image, orgasm, passion, Uncategorized
3 Surprisingly EASY Sex Moves That Can Add Sizzle to Your Marriage
Apr
Okay, I’m not gonna sugarcoat it.
I am a 40-something (almost 50-something) housewife who probably lives a life that looks similar to yours.
I mean, what with all the laundry and messy countertops and relentless calendars and “I need a piece of white poster board for my science project tomorrow” and sloppy dog paws and “do we really want to host Easter brunch” and…
Well. You get the point.
But as I have often said, extraordinary sex happens in the ordinary. So that’s what we have to figure out — how to nurture authentic intimacy amidst the tedious and cumbersome slosh through this thing called life!
Here are 3 surprisingly easy sex moves that just may wow your husband tonight (if you give them a try!):
1. Genuinely Show Up
One of the biggest complaints I hear from husbands is that their wife offers her body, but not her heart and soul. Don’t just go through the motions.
Yes, I know you know what it takes to get him to climax, maybe even quickly. But what most husbands want is a wife who wants to be there — who wants to connect with him in that profound way that he can’t get from anyone else.
2. Make it About Him
Personally I think this is quite fun every now and then. Take your time arousing him.
Have him lay back and be the recipient of all you have to offer. God has given you great tools, so to speak — assets for turning on the man you met at the end of that aisle and pledged your life and heart to.
A great sexual position is you on top. It gives him great visuals and access to your body, and it simultaneously lets you control the rate and rhythm of movement on your clitoris. Win win. High fives all around.
For more reading on making it about him, check out my post 3 Reasons It’s Sexy to Undress for Your Husband.
3. Make it About You Too
If your husband is like most guys, he is completely enthralled with his wife having an orgasm. Gals, don’t downplay the importance of your sexual pleasure. You’re not doing anyone any favors by doing that.
When you minimize the importance of your orgasm, you are robbing yourself and your husband of the mystery and power of God-designed sexual climax. If you have trouble having an orgasm, don’t give up. Consider the many great tips on my Orgasm Page.
The above three moves aren’t the ones that scream at us from the covers of Cosmopolitan. But I have come to believe that the above are delightfully foundational to passionate sex in marriage. What do you think?
Copyright 2017, Julie Sibert. Intimacy in Marriage Blog. Links may be monetized.
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Yes, show up. Truly being present in each moment with one’s spouse is very important and is what allows for true connection. Share the moments and make the lovemaking mutual.
When a wife shows sexual confidence and takes the lead in the bedroom, that is very arousing and gratifying for the husband as he can see that she is truly in the moment with him.
Number 2 make it about you!! We Christians have this strange idea that robbing ourselves of pleasure is some beautiful experiment in maturity. I’ve over come my selfishness. Now finally finally see knows I’m full of joy and delight when she orgasms and doesn’t hold back a quiver.
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Post menopausal….orgasms are a thing of the past, sexual touch a turn off. Sex is just about him. Still able to be present in the moment, just not able to physically enjoy.
Hard to be passionate when your not turned on though.
Amazing how sex can be so difficult for women and so easy for men.
Can you recommend a resource for a wife who previously really was never a giver/involved, but was just a receiver? Something that can show her what to do, how to do it?
Thank you for your blog! I feel as though God had me stumble across it at the perfect time. My husband and I are thirty somethings with 2 kids and have lost our bedroom spark over the last few years. After reading a few of your articles I will be taking some of your advice and for the first time in years I am excited for my hubby to come home from work!
This list is so true. It is hard to truly show up and for years I struggled with this and didn’t realize it. I thought it was normal to roll over and say ok you give to me since you want it. I always felt good after an orgasm but sometimes felt resentful for having to do something I wasn’t in the mood for. Now My hubby and I have communicated (the most important step) and our intimate life and married life has never been better. He tries harder to arouse me through the day then my desire to be with him comes and he understands that. He gives me time to be alone (since I homeschool 4 kids) and it helps me to relax and fully focus on him. Being present makes all the difference in how great our sex life can be.
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I find the more I am distracted from the primary call of the moment the more angry or frustrated I am. In other words, the task at hand needs my whole heart to be in it, or I will never be satisfied in it. Students look at the clock for school to be over, rather than focusing on getting A’s on their papers. It’s universal. If we don’t like the idea we think it’s a bad idea. These are easy sex moves. But, it’s hard to think of them as easy when sex isn’t our idea of a good time.
But, sex is just like a student doing homework. Meaning, if we make ourselves, we can put the right focus & work into it & we will get the benefits & success from it. It doesn’t matter your past, your hurt, or your lack of training or interest; anything can be learned for the first time. Sure, there can be wounds; past &/or present. But, even the wounded can start at a different place than from there wound. This is simplifying a rough road for some, but no matter minds, hearts, & situations can change IF we are willing to listen & work. An obstinate student will never get anywhere & will always experience the hurt over & over. & low & behold it is only because they don’t want to do the work.
If God defines sex in marriage as a good gift, & we don’t believe it, that belief is not on God, those that caused the wounds, nor those that have fun in married sex.
Thank you Julie!