I was thinking recently about how much better my husband and I have been getting along since a big stressor we’d been dealing with daily for nearly all of 2020 is no longer such a burden.
We are more playful—in general, but sexually as well. And part of that playfulness is a bit of humor (in bed and out of bed!)
Humor within a couple’s sexual intimacy can be a double-edged sword, of course. Sex is such a vulnerable spot in a marriage, that if things aren’t going well sexually, humor about sex can quickly can become painful and even manipulative.
Sarcasm, innuendo and inside jokes between spouses can be quite endearing when sex is a mutually-enjoyed space in their marriage. But if there is division and lingering resentment surrounding sex in the relationship, all of those otherwise wonderful pathways to humor become piercing. They further chasm rather than bridge it.
I imagine there is a third scenario, too. A married couple who enjoys their sexual intimacy, but don’t see it as a place for humor. Maybe because they think letting humor seep into something so sacred would tarnish it some how. Or maybe neither of them in general find too many things humorous, so naturally their intimacy wouldn’t be an environment for funny fodder either.
How would you characterize your marriage? Is healthy humor part of your sexual intimacy? Or is it used as a weapon? Or do you fall in the third scenario I describe above?
Being able to laugh with your spouse can be such a binding thing. Healthy humor helps us relieve stress, find common ground and gain perspective. Certainly humor doesn’t have to be part of your sexual intimacy, but you may find that it helps you become all that more comfortable with each other.
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