Savor the Humor to Help You in Hard Times


humor-helps-in-hard-timesHumor has been our saving grace in our marriage as of late.

I wish I could say it was sex, but I will gladly take some humor as a runner-up in the coping skills department.

Our 2020 has been awful.

And I’m not even talking about the virus craziness, which—not gonna lie—hasn’t exactly helped matters in our life (or in anyone’s life for that matter).

The stress we have been under because of two external circumstances has about done us in. A tsunami of “you’ve-got-to-be-kidding” hit us after the first of the year and decided to set up camp in our lives.

Fortunately, through this horrendous season in our life, I have never thought our marriage was at risk of ending. But I definitely have thought our marriage has taken a huge hit. And sadly, not the kind of hit for which you get a shiny trophy and then go to a swanky after party.

But the burden is starting to ease. At least a little. 

And though my husband and I have not had any hot make-out sessions in the family room lately, we have somewhat found an inkling of shared humor in our treacherous situation—and the possibility that it will be lifting soon.

We had a lively conversation the other day about who eats the most bananas in the house. We also laughed and flirted about my mad skills at making the bed. I told him I would do whatever he wanted with the bed. Or on the bed. I mean, I could make it. Or we could just perpetually unmake it, too.

Good to have options.

My ability to steer nearly any conversation toward the topic of sex makes for delicious comic relief. It’s like my super power. No cape required (although… if he wanted me to wear a cape, that can be arranged.)

It has felt refreshing to laugh lately with my husband. We have spent much of the last six months doing everything but laughing.

The tone in our house has been much more of crushing exhaustion, tears, depression and silent passive aggressive disdain. Throw in occasional heated discussions, raised voices and outright yelling, and you would start to get a picture of the stress in our house.

And it’s all because of these two circumstances—circumstances, I might add, that at their core have nothing to do with our marriage personally. These two matters swooped in and consumed all of the margin we had in our lives and then some. And we are your basic run-of-the-mill Americans, so it’s not like we have oodles of margin to spare.

But we have laughed lately. And we have needed that. We have needed that so badly.

How about you? Has humor ever helped you get through difficult seasons in your marriage? There’s  just something about finding some common ground, right?! Like crawling into a small lifeboat together, if even for just a moment.

The storm can be rough, my friends. Try to figure out how to crawl into the lifeboat occasionally. And laugh!

For more reading, you can cruise through my list of past posts, as well as my page with a bunch of posts on orgasm.

Copyright 2020, Julie Sibert. Intimacy in Marriage Blog. Links may be monetized.

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4 thoughts on “Savor the Humor to Help You in Hard Times

  1. Afriend says:

    Sending you and your husband tons of love and an end to these awful circumstances.
    I do think humour can play a huge part in our marriages. My wife and I don’t communicate very well at the best of times but the best of times are those days when we can lighten up a bit and laugh – at anything, preferably with a bit of innuendo thrown in for good measure.

  2. Rebecca says:

    What can I say other than I’m so sorry you and husband are having to weather such a terrible storm. I pray that the possibility of it lifting soon becomes reality for you.

  3. Running Deeper says:

    I’m so sorry your 2020 has been awful Julie. That sucks!! I’m praying that things will change and that, at the end of it all, you’ll be able to look back and see the flowers that are blooming because of those hard times.

    Laughter is such good medicine. My wife & I are discovering this truth much more lately and it really does us good. It has this ability to deepen our connectedness and intimacy and appreciation for each.

  4. J. Parker says:

    Humor has gotten me through some of the worst parts of my life. That and primal screaming, but I digress.

    I do feel that a witty remark or humorous flirtation can be a gift from God in those moments when we most need that relief. And you know I’m always good for a sex joke if you need one. 😉

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