Intimacy in Marriage

BETTER Sex in Your Christian Marriage

Is There Healthy Humor in Your Lovemaking?

healthy-humor-during-sexI should just direct you to Hot Holy Humorous, where my pal J. Parker’s wit comes through in much of her writing. She wisely noted in a post, “He’s in love with you, not your glamour shot.

Just the thought of Glamour Shots makes me laugh!

Glamour Shots, of course, were so popular back in the day. You know, when you could swing by the mall, pick up a new blender at Penney’s, grab yourself an Orange Julius AND get your Glamour Shot done. All in one day!

Oh man. Those glamour shots were a little creepy. Lots of feathered boas. Stage-level quantities of make-up. Big hair. Contrived sexy poses.

Just out of curiosity, I did a store locator search on the Glamour Shots website and discovered the only remaining stores are in Kentucky, New Jersey and Texas. J. Parker lives in Texas. Coincidence?! I don’t think so!

I think J.’s husband, whom she humorously and lovingly refers to as Spock in some of her posts, would be in love with her AND her Glamour Shot! Just an idea, J. If anyone could rock a Glamour Shot, it is you!

Glamour Shots once were considered quite attractive, but I truly believe now could be given as a humorous gift. My husband would crack up if I brought home a Glamour Shot of myself.

The Glamour Shots people probably hate me for saying it, but they should consider it an untapped line of profit. I mean, they have stores only in Kentucky, New Jersey and Texas, so clearly they have room for a business resurgence. (Don’t get your knickers in a knot, Glamour Shots execs. I know you do lots of other photography, too. I’m just joshing with you!)

Being able to have a good laugh (sexual and otherwise) is so important in a marriage, right?!

Is there healthy humor in your lovemaking? I hope so! Humor and laughter relieve stress, help us build a shared history (lots of inside jokes!), and give us opportunity to not take ourselves too seriously.

Here are 3 things to remember when becoming a little more light-hearted during sex:

1. Never joke at your spouse’s expense

If you know something is going to be hurtful, don’t use it for humorous fodder. As I always have said, the foundation of healthy intimacy in marriage is love, and it’s not loving to make fun of your spouse on sensitive topics.

That being said, it’s not such a bad idea for you both to ask yourself if you are too sensitive about some things. You may be. Most of us are. And we would do ourselves and our marriage a world of good to laugh a little more at ourselves and lighten up.

A little self deprecation can be hilarious.

2. Laugh at the little imperfections in lovemaking

In romantic movies, you never see someone getting a leg cramp or becoming tangled in the sheets or trying out a new sexual position for the first time or making funny faces when they climax. Nope. In the movies, it all looks so coordinated and seamless and amazingly well lit.

That’s Hollywood for you, just doing what they do best! It’s called make-believe for a reason, because we are “made” to “believe” something that is just a shined-up version of real life.

Sex in real life is messy and awkward and full of opportunities to have fun. And part of having fun is being able to laugh and find humor, not only in the mundane, but also in the crazy things that happen, too. A friend of mine one time looked up while making love with her husband, only to discover their 4-year-old standing in the door way, just taking the scene in.

Fortunately, my friend and her husband were covered, but the whole next day, the 4-year-old kept asking, “Daddy, why did you bounce mommy like that?”

I tell you what. THAT is funny.

Things aren’t perfect in lovemaking, but isn’t that what makes it so beautiful as well? In authentic intimacy, you have room for being enthralled in passion some times and laughing uncontrollably other times. (And then laughing again when you think back on the moment!)

3. Be playful with your clothes on

Humor during sex becomes more endearing if we have already learned how to laugh and have fun with each other when we are not in bed.

In day-to-day life, how playful are you and your spouse with each other? Do you joke around? Do you laugh at the same sort of things? Do you share inside jokes and humorous perspectives that only the two of you get?

That’s the best, isn’t it? Being playful as spouses and as friends. That kind of companionship and “doing life together” humor carries over nicely when you get naked and hot and bothered.

Whenever I speak to groups on sexual intimacy, I always know that the people in my audience come from various situations, whether it be brokenness in their marriage or solid healthy intimacy or somewhere in between.

I always give the audience the opportunity to ask anonymous questions, most of which are quite serious and reflect the level of pain, confusion and discouragement in the audience. This is why I just had to smile when I was speaking to a group of a couples not long ago, and this question came in: “Is it okay if the dog sees us having sex?”

I could tell by how the question was written that there wasn’t an ounce of seriousness in it, which I loved! I laughed out loud and so did the audience.

And I thought to myself, “That couple is going to be just fine. They clearly have some healthy humor in their lovemaking.”

What about you? Is there healthy humor in your lovemaking? If not, how can the two of you together start to change that?

For more reading, cruise through my list of past posts. as well as my page with a bunch of posts on orgasm.

And I have a 5 video series available on building better sex in your marriage. Great way to invest in your marriage!  You can find out all about it at this link:  Better Sex in Your Christian Marriage.

Copyright 2020, Julie Sibert. Intimacy in Marriage Blog. Links may be monetized.

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January 20th, 2020 by