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In a previous post, I was encouraging husbands to recognize that sexual arousal for a wife is about more than what you do with your penis.
Now I want to talk about how God designed a woman’s body with some key physical reactions when she is aroused. I will never grow weary of God’s design for sex! I’m so fascinated by His creation in this regard and all the idiosyncrasies of sexual arousal and lovemaking. Well played, God. Well played.
The more you become a student of your wife and of her arousal, the more equipped you will be to help her enjoy sexual pleasure to the fullest. It’s hot to turn your wife on!
I can only imagine that as a compassionate husband, you want your wife to enjoy sex immensely. Many husbands express that it brings them incredible joy and arousal to see their wife aroused. Are you in that camp? I hope so!
A key physical reaction God built into arousal for a woman is that there are glands in the vagina that secret lubrication, making it more comfortable for her to receive her husband’s erect penis. Of course, each woman’s body is different and there are various factors that can affect how well this lubrication process works, but generally speaking, the vagina becoming wetter is a natural progression of her feeling aroused and sexually excited.
Some women can become wet without even being touched, especially if they feel extremely safe and secure with their marriage relationship, have a high sex drive, and have a positive and healthy perspective on sex. She may become wet just from the way you talk to her seductively or from her own thought life as she thinks about sexual connection with you.
This lubrication is one reason foreplay is so important. While you may feel ready at a moment’s notice, her body may need more time to warm up to the proposition. Be sure to read the post where I elaborate on erogenous zones to consider when using your hands and mouth to arouse her.
If you use some of the techniques I suggested, you’ll likely feel with your hands and fingers her getting wet. Encourage her also to tell you what makes her wet and to share with you when she is. Generally speaking, her becoming wet is her body becoming more ready to receive your hard penis, but even the wetness itself as it increases is pleasurable!
One caveat I will offer is that if she does not become wet, this isn’t necessarily a sign she is not aroused. Her age and where she is in her cycle, as well as various medical conditions and the fact each body is unique, may impact how much natural vaginal lubrication she has.
If there is not enough natural lubrication, purchase a lubricant from a local drugstore or online. There are so many choices, many of which I covered in this post and this post. And just the other day I was at Walgreens and noticed a host of new ones as well. So many choices for really effective lubricants.
Another sign you may notice as she becomes aroused is there is more blood flow to the vaginal tissue, making her vaginal lips more plump.
Her clitoris will become more sensitive the more aroused she becomes. You likely will need her guidance on what she needs. Too much stimulation or too firm of stimulation on the clitoris may be distracting or uncomfortable, whereas not enough could be annoying and lackluster. The clitoris is a fascinating creature, but as a husband and wife, the two of you can learn its ways and discover what is pleasurable. Its only purpose is sexual pleasure for your wife, so it’s worth getting to know.
Her nipples may become firmer as she is aroused (she could just be cold, though, so that’s why you have to pay attention to the entire scene!)
As you pay close attention, you may notice more physical cues as well, whether they be subtle or extremely obvious. Her breathing may become heavier and faster and she may pull you closer to her. She may moan and/or give other non-verbal signals, such as directing your hands with her hands.
As she is getting close to having an orgasm, it may become vitally important that you NOT change what you are doing at the moment. Switching gears to a different touch, position or type of thrusting when she is so close to falling into complete ecstasy may be enough to send her off course and leave her frustrated. Hopefully, she will give you strong enough non-verbals or a strong enough verbal request, such as “don’t stop doing what you’re doing!”
As a lover, you have the privilege of bringing her incredible sexual pleasure. God designed sexual arousal and response to strengthen a marriage bond. So pay close attention — your wife’s arousal comes with signs!
And I have a 5 video series available on building better sex in your marriage. Great way to invest in your marriage! You can find out all about it at this link: Better Sex in Your Christian Marriage.
Copyright 2020, Julie Sibert. Intimacy in Marriage Blog. Links may be monetized.