3 Ways to Make Multiple Orgasms Reality

Posted on Saturday, January 5th, 2013

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orgasm 246x184 3 Ways to Make Multiple Orgasms Reality photoAdmit it.

You've not just heard about multiple orgasms.

You've actually wondered if they are a real thing (as opposed to mere words and myths, taunting you from magazine covers as you buy juice boxes, Cheerios and yet another gallon of milk).

You've wondered about them -- unless, of course, you've had them (the multiple orgasms that is, not the Cheerios).

All wondering dissipates as you fall over the edge of pleasure again and again.  In fact, at that point, you probably sound like Oliver Twist.

"Sir, may I have some more?!"

Multiple orgasms are indeed a real thing  (I speaketh of what I knoweth).  And while I do not think they are the end all of sexual experience or a necessity for great sexual intimacy, I do believe they are a sweet glimpse of sexual possibilities in marriage.

If you haven't had multiple orgasms (but want to!), there are ways you can make them your reality.

Here are three of those ways...

1. Appreciate that your orgasm matters.

I think one of the biggest barriers to a wife having multiple orgasms is that she's not all that comfortable with having even one.  She has reduced her own pleasure during lovemaking to a nice side benefit.  "If it happens, it happens. If not, oh well."

If things are not even marginally good now, you can't really expect "extraordinarily good" to follow.

I would put multiple orgasms in the extraordinarily good category, not because I think they have to happen every time, but because I think when they do happen, they are worth savoring.  But if you don't appreciate the wonder of one orgasm, it's unlikely you'll sing accolades for multiple waves of pleasure.

My advice, one wife to another? Start caring about your own sexual pleasure.  Become incredibly willing to learn your own body, explore the stimulation your body (particularly your clitoris) needs for you to climax, and then teach your husband.

Husbands, let her teach you. Encourage her to teach you. Try different things. Listen to her guidance. Pay close attention to her body cues. Ask. Then ask again.

"What feels good?"  A deep vulnerability for both of you to not only ask that question, but also to mine the depths of its answer, will take you to profound places.

I've long believed that phenomenal sex in marriage finds its roots in the crevices of complete trust in each other and in the Lord's design for sex.  There are treasures of oneness that are yours for the taking. And that's true whether you have multiple orgasms or not.

2. Lean into pleasure.

Okay, so the first orgasm comes... which typically is the strongest one... and our tendency can be to immediately move into "wind down" mode.  The orgasm was good...it opened the door to a very nice room.

But what if there is another door in the room?

Instead of pausing inside the first door, move toward the other door. And when you open up that one, you might be delighted to indeed find another door.

In other words, why not see what happens if you lean into the pleasure after your first orgasm.  Why not see what happens if he doesn't immediately stop thrusting once you've climaxed?

There is a lot to be said for what happens when we as wives embrace what it means to be sexually confident and uninhibited.

You, dear one, are a sexual being. As a wife, God has given you full authority to embrace sexual pleasure with your husband.  All that nakedness (physical, emotional and spiritual) that is happening exclusively between you and your husband in the privacy of your lovemaking? It delights the Lord! He is happy about it.

Are you?

3.  Stop telling yourself they aren't possible.

Yeah, this one seems like a no-brainer, but for a motivational junkie like myself, I truly do believe that everything really does begin as a thought.  So, if you've been downplaying the likelihood of you experiencing multiple orgasms, then your body will likely follow suit.

If, on the other hand, you relax and broaden your perspective, you might be pleasantly surprised at what you discover.  Revel in the possibility of multiple orgasms.

Hey, I admit, I was once a skeptic about multiple orgasms.

But now I'm a believer.  I'm not going to belt out a Neil Diamond song or anything, but I'm still a believer.  With a very content smile on my face.

For more reading on multiple orgasms, check out this post by Mrs. Hot Holy Humorous.

Copyright 2013, Julie Sibert. Intimacy in Marriage Blog.

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31 Responses to
“3 Ways to Make Multiple Orgasms Reality”

  • G says: January 5th, 2013 at 4:35 am

    Hi Julie,
    Really enjoy the website. The wife and I are beginning to take sex more seriously (finally). We have a lot of rather difficult hurdles lying in our way. One quick encouragement for ladies is just a reminder that most husbands care deeply about their partner's pleasure. I would be absolutely ecstatic if my wife achieved multiple orgasms... Or even attempted it.

    There is a lot more I could say on this topic, but (as it's somewhat secondary to my overall goals) I'll just leave it with the fact that what I desire is to have my wife engaged in the adventure of exploring every "room" of sexual intimacy with me... Rather than occasionally dashing in and out of the first one, breath held, as if something died in there. Even a thorough exploration of room one would be fun!

  • Josh says: January 5th, 2013 at 6:47 am

    Very inspiring

  • JulieSibert says: January 5th, 2013 at 9:30 am

    Thank you @G and @Josh for your comments!

    @G ... love how you carried the analogy a little further. So true.

  • workinprogress says: January 5th, 2013 at 10:43 am

    I'm a happy recent discoverer of the truth of multiples :-)
    My experience has been that the second orgasm is usually stronger than the first actually.
    Having said that though, the reason I never thought I could orgasm more than once was that if my husband tried to keep me going after a strong orgasm, I would have to cry uncle because it would be too much stimulation. I figured out that if I give myself a 30 second break to recover, he can then proceed and take me there again. And like I said, it is usually an even better orgasm than the first. Now that I know that I can orgasm more than once, I almost expect it ;-) And if my first orgasm was a bit of a dud, I don't have to be disappointed because I know that there is another one waiting to be unleashed ;-)

  • JulieSibert says: January 5th, 2013 at 10:46 am

    Thank you @workinprogress for your comment! Great insights! The more voices we have chiming in on this, the more we learn! Yeah!

  • Slawson says: January 5th, 2013 at 11:56 am

    I've been enjoying multiples for prob 10 years of our 17 year marriage. Your article is dead on about exploration together, etc. I do kinda seem to expect them too, @workinprogress. Lol. Sometimes 1st one is most intense but usually all feel different and good in different ways. Trying to relax & breath thru the last ones makes the pleasure seem more enjoyable. :-)

  • GettingFree says: January 5th, 2013 at 1:19 pm

    Ok...I'm going to chime in here for the 1st time. Oh 1st I want to say reading your articles have improved our sex life greatly. Having been sexually abused for 7 years of my young life made it difficult not to mention my dear husband's battle with porn. For anyone reading there is still good sex after overcoming these hurtles. Julie, I thank God for the part you played in that healing.

    Anyhoo....back to the topic...I was in camp that multiple orgasims did NOT exist. Because after the 1 orgasim I was so sensitive to the touch that I couldn't relax. (Even after waiting 1 minute.) My dear husband was/is in the camp that it COULD happen for me. But because I'm so sensitive I stop him completely. Got any pointers for going to the next level.

    After years of faking (cause of our baggage) he wants me to get all that's coming to me....and by golly so do I. :)

  • JulieSibert says: January 5th, 2013 at 1:48 pm

    Thank you so much @GettingFree for your kind words about my site... I am so humbled by that (I'm going to email you separately to see if you would consider doing a guest post on my site).

    As for getting to the next level... I recognize what you are saying about the high sensitivity right after orgasm. The clitoris is full of nerve endings and some direct contact maybe is too much. Here's a thought... if you are climaxing through intercourse, possibly right after you climax, have your husband withdraw and then use his fingers to stimulate you vaginally (simultaneously, you could possibly stimulate your clitoris, since you can better gage in that moment how much pressure is too much).

    Every body is different, so it will probably take a lot of experimenting with different touches to find what is pleasurable.

    Some couples may find too that the first orgasm could come through oral sex and then subsequent orgasms through penetration after that.

    Other thing to keep in mind is the word "multiple" has loose definitions.. meaning for some women, the orgasms are going to come one right after another with little lapse in between, whereas other women may need slight breaks of stimulation before being able to peak again.

    Regardless, I think it's encouraging and admirable that you and your husband have been intentional about not letting your past abuse to sabotage the potential for great sex within your marriage. You are wise.

  • Dory says: January 5th, 2013 at 2:08 pm

    Chiming in about the heightened sensitivity and the break needed... if you find it's hard to tell your husband what you need to get to the next O, body language goes a long way. Its hard to talk in in the midst of orgasm! When I've had enough stimulation through the first one, I tip my pelvis back slightly, and he stops stimulating immediately but doesn't remove his hand; then I will tip my pelvis back up and he knows I'm ready and would like to try for another one. And another... and another... *mischievous grin*

  • Amy M. says: January 5th, 2013 at 4:19 pm

    My husband and I have only recently realized the magnificence of multiples. For years, I felt convinced that orgasm wasn't all everyone makes of it. Turns out, I respond better with clitoral stimulation and my husband feels proud of his accomplishments in taking me as far and as often as possible.
    For almost 20 years, we were in the dark on this, and so ecstatic to find the light.
    I'm in the group that needs a break between excursions, and also find that subsequent orgasms grow in intensity from the first -- most of the time. With a low testosterone/erectile dysfunction issue, it also helps that my husband prefers to stimulate me by hand, which helps him feel and stay in control.
    One of the sweetest byproducts of this discovery is the feeling of power my husband has upon my reaching the top. He has even felt disappointed when I have reached my limit!
    Yes, gentlemen have great interest in leading their wives to this mountaintop. When they fully connect with their wives in this unique way, I think they can't help but to want to explore that path again, and any side streets along the way!

  • Annabel says: January 5th, 2013 at 5:33 pm

    Julie,

    I am also here to proclaim the truth of multiple orgasms. In fact, my husband has a nickname for me that references the fact that I am (quite often) multi-orgasmic. And, like workinprogress, I find the latter orgasms are more intense than the first one. It's like I am riding bigger and bigger waves out into the ocean of happiness :)

    I think one of the greatest keys to my own multiple orgasms is communication. Like you said, being willing to let my husband know is key in what works - because what works for orgasm 1 is not always what works for orgasm 2,3,4, etc. The pressure points tend to be different, the pace of movement, etc. Also, just like you said about doors - be open to not only 2 but possibly even more orgasms!

    Also, just as another aside, there are times where the multiple orgasms are very discreet things. Other times, however, they sort of just run all into each other without much of a 'break' in between.

    Hoping more & more women experience this incredible joy!

  • workinprogress says: January 5th, 2013 at 7:58 pm

    GettingFree~ Just a couple suggestions. Give yourself a minute or 2 and then have your husband start stimulating you again, and use a good lube to reduce the friction (we love coconut oil) Relax and breathe through the sensitivity if you can (remember breathing through contractions?) Don't tense up- focus on relaxing.
    And as a word of encouragement... once my body experienced it's first double, it is MUCH easier now. It's like my body has acclamated to what it is supposed to do.
    And, as a side note, it was during my first "second" O that I first "gushed" (ejaculated) What a pleasant surprise that was! So, go for it, you never know what mysteries lay behind door number 2 ;-)

  • Still Learning says: January 6th, 2013 at 8:20 am

    I found this as a link from The Generous Wife and I'm so glad I did. I'm a member of the Multiple Orgasm Club (a proud one at that) and I find that the intensity of the orgasm depends on a few different things. First would be the type of simulation. Sometimes vaginal penetration alone isn't enough so kissing and touching on other sensitive areas during intercourse gets me over that edge. The position is another huge thing. Also you have to communicate DURING because helping someone reach an orgasm with no help is like diffusing a bomb with no training. :-) Sorry if this was long. Having a healthy sexual relationship has been and is still a challenge for us but I'm willing to share anything I've learned thus far.

  • Kitty says: January 6th, 2013 at 10:18 am

    Hi there Julie.
    I wonder if you could clarify exactly how you define a multiple orgasm, because there seems to be some disagreement on this! I've heard it defined in two ways:
    (a) More than one orgasm within a lovemaking session (with a reasonable gap in between). In which case, that's not uncommon for me, and I wouldn't define it as multiple orgasm at all - just 'a good day'!
    (b) One (or more) orgasm DIRECTLY after the first one (just as one orgasm is dying down, another one swells and takes over, with no gap). In which case, that's happened only twice in my life, and was completely unexpectedly both times. TBH, I'd never chase this, since trying too hard to orgasm seems a good way of not having one! But also, since my orgasms are so powerful they almost render me unconscious (!), it would seems a bit of a waste to use up two in one go, rather than have a little recovery time and then build up to enjoying another mind-blower!
    I'd be interested to know what other people's thoughts/experiences are, and how you (and others) define the 'multiple orgasm', as I've never really been able to get to the bottom of it!
    Thank you.

  • JulieSibert says: January 6th, 2013 at 11:27 am

    @Kitty... thanks for your comment and insights!!

    I suppose there could be a variety of definitions, but I tend to be in the camp of thinking of orgasms fairly close together... maybe a little lag in between, but not a ton.

    That's not to say more than one orgasm over the span of an entire lovemaking session couldn't be classified as "multiple." It's all good really!

    And my guess is that no matter how a woman defines multiple orgasms, she's likely describing something that is leaving her smiling.

    And honestly, if your orgasms are nearly rendering you unconscious, that sounds delightful! I've been there too, and it's great!

    Thanks again for stopping by!!!

  • Barb Brinkman says: January 6th, 2013 at 4:43 pm

    Another view..If multple Os leave you exhausted or there are hurdles to your sexual relations you might want to explore another method of love making that is not so intense but total body involement for hours if desired. Check out "Peace Between the Sheets" subtitle Healing with Sexual Relationships by Marnia Robinson

  • Brian says: January 6th, 2013 at 6:20 pm

    Don't forget that men can be multi-orgasmic as well, with ejaculation. The stereotype that men are done at ejaculation/orgasm, then roll over and fall asleep without any cuddling or "after play" may be true for many insensitive husbands. Many caring husbands love to revel in the afterglow. Some are able to achieve multiple orgasms. Many more would do so if they and their wives were open to that reality.

    But in a world where many wives view sex as a burden and just having sex at all is a real treat for a husband, the idea of trying for multiple male orgasms must sound quite remote.

    What a different reality we can all have as loving and caring husbands and wives when we are willing to open all the doors of love!

  • livinginblurredlines says: January 7th, 2013 at 7:53 am

    My husband seems to enjoy my pleasure, but he rarely does anything to give it to me. I mostly have to take it for myself (self stim during intercourse) and let me tell you it isn't easy! Doing almost all the physical work during sex, as well as stimulating myself while he just lays there makes it hard to relax. A part of me wants to keep exploring this our current sex method and another is tired of it, too. It really does make sex (which I normally enjoy and am.voracious for) more of a bother and a chore.

    I wish I knew why hubby rarely orally or manually.stimulates me. Yes, I asked, but he doesn't give clear answers.

  • J (Hot, Holy & Humorous) says: January 7th, 2013 at 9:30 am

    There is a Multiple Orgasm Club? How can I get a membership card? LOL.

    I'm one of those wives who likes it all--sex with and without orgasms, sex with many O's, sex with one O. But I must say that it's a very intense feeling to experience waves of climax. And not all multiple O's feel the same. Sometimes it helps to have one orgasm with clitoral stimulation (hand/mouth from hubby) and then the vaginal orgasm is easier. They can come pretty close together and feel rather nice. Great post, Julie!

  • Seeker says: January 7th, 2013 at 12:08 pm

    It is hard for me to imagine multi-orgasms when, after 32 years of marriage, she still has not experience ONE orgasm. She often tells me that it is not important to her to experience one (sex is not important to her which explains our low frequency). How do you convince a spouse that orgasms are important to one's health?

  • JulieSibert says: January 7th, 2013 at 12:41 pm

    @Seeking... without talking to your wife, my educated guess would be that she has never experienced an orgasm ever, so she doesn't really know what she is missing (because if she had had an orgasm, she likely would want to revisit that feeling at least occasionally).

    As for convincing her... possibly explain to her what it means to you to please her... that you desire for sex to be this bonding experience, and if only one of you is experiencing pleasure, it's hard to fathom that it's really a bonding experience.

    Would she be willing to read a Christian sex book together? Maybe that could be a springboard into more discussions and broadening her perspective.

    If she is not open for any type of discussion or even an inkling of wanting to nurture deeper intimacy, then I would encourage you to continue to pray for her and for your marriage, as well as discerning additional opportunities to bring the topic up.

  • JC says: January 18th, 2013 at 1:12 pm

    Another card-carrying member here. :-D Though my husband and I have had issues throughout our 12-year marriage regarding sex (mostly regarding mismatched drives: I have struggled with extremely low libido) one thing we have not had issues with is my orgasms. My husband considers it a point of pride that--as long as I want them--he can usually give me more than one. In fact he literally said to me recently, "My goal is to make sure that when all is said and done the number of my orgasms is but a pale shadow of the number of your orgasms." Last Sunday I had 5(!), and only stopped because I was getting worn out. It is possible ladies!

  • anon says: January 19th, 2013 at 2:46 pm

    married 30+ years, wife usually willing though frequently passive in the past. abused as a youngster will not allow manual stimulation of any kind. Only vaginal touching allowed is penetration. Occasionally she will allow oral stim which totally rocks her world over and over. But she is happy to do that about once a year maybe twice. This is very hard for me to understand. I really enjoy rocking her world but sometimes I think she does not like losing control to that degree. I am willing and it hurts that she is not esp when she gets so rocked when she does go for it. hurts lots...

  • Amos says: January 26th, 2013 at 1:57 am

    This is powerful info and an interesting approach going through the doors. Nothing excites me more than bringing my wife to pounding soul drenching orgasms but we have not pursued that recently so will talk it over with her and see if she will allow me to bless her like this with 4 or more. Wow can not wait to try it. I love loving her. Orgasms are healthy and if ejaculation happens that would be wonderful. Her meltdown will help get her ready to absorb the semen and help keep hormones balanced. It's God's perfect design!

  • AlwaysReady says: March 5th, 2013 at 2:58 pm

    Thank you so much for this post, Julie! You are spot-on. I'm so glad my wife can read this kind of stuff from another woman, and see I'm not just making it up! Your comment about women being sexually confident and uninhibited resonates especially with me. I find that very attractive and stimulating. Thank you for putting words to thoughts and feelings that are oftentimes ambiguous or elusive. My wife and I are really getting somewhere now.

  • Sarah in Colorado says: January 10th, 2014 at 12:38 pm

    Another excellent post on intimacy in a loving, passionate marriage!

    "My advice, one wife to another? Start caring about your own sexual pleasure."

    Spot-on! Giving your own female sexual pleasure the position it deserves within your relationship is one of the finest gifts you can give your husband!

    It did not take my husband and me long to work together toward my multiple orgasms, and ever since, it's as if he's earned the keys to my Queendom! When my husband gives me multiple orgasms, I feel loved for, cared for, cherished, sexual, beautiful as the woman he adores...he feels a sense of achievement and is confident in his wonderful manliness, his ability to bring me incredible pleasure. Together, we are bonded again and again.

    Ladies, as stated by other posters - it is a pure JOY for a loving husband to pleasure his wife. Do not feel greedy or ashamed for accepting this gift your adoring husband wants to give so freely!

    Thank you again, Julie, for providing a forum where couples dedicated to a committed life-long marriage can honestly and openly express themselves and learn more about themselves. Sex IS a most beautiful gift from God for wife and husband to explore and enjoy together.

  • Mandel says: March 6th, 2014 at 4:33 pm

    hi there,

    love you blog. so much inspiration.

    being the man in the house, I feel it is my responsibility to lead, also in bed. And give me wife full pleasure.
    Her pleasure is my pleasure.

    A couple years back, my wife had a disc hernia. And since then she has been more or less totally numb from waist and down. Meaning she cannot feel anything. No orgasm.
    And so our sex life has become very traditional. While she is caring and loving, sex has become a routine. Sex has become a "pleasing my husband" thing. I get orgasm every time, but that isn't the full satisfaction. I am missing the satisfaction to see her satisfied. And you know the saying, if mom isn't happy nobody is happy.

    Any advice how we can grow? how she can achieve orgasm ?

  • andre says: June 22nd, 2014 at 6:41 pm

    My wife got into the mode of give sex to me to stop me getting moody. For me it was a downward spiral that I expected and got easy sex and she did not orgasm and so the whole sex thing seemed to have no value to her and I felt bed that I could not do it for her.

    The watershed was an unintended outcome of some marriage counselling. That outcome was communication. From the communication she learned more about how I felt and I learned more about her. During sex for example she would never talk and so I felt that I had no idea whether she was getting turned on. Was I doing the right thing. Too fast too slow and so on. So she started to talk a little about how she was feeling.

    The other thing was and I warn you this is pretty weird but we how do I say this. We had a sexual moratorium for me. With no expectation of orgasm for me suddenly she was lifted from this feeling of obligation to have sex. It was both a huge struggle and also a interesting challenge for me. Actually a kinky turn on in a way. It brought some excitement back into the relationship. I got far more attention from her in terms of touching, hugging, kissing and so on.

    And then one day we decided to try having me inside her but not being allowed to orgasm. She orgasmed. She was on top as I had to lie really still to control myself. Of course I stayed hard and so a little later She tried again and again she orgasmed. So for the first time in years she had had an orgasm with me inside her and had gone on to actually have a second orgasm.

    Now we have settled into a new routine where there is a lot more sexual tension. A lot less actual sex. I guess the rules are clearer but they work for us. The rules are that I do not get to orgasm unless she says so but I am not allowed to ask or even hint. She knows that she can string me out for even several weeks and that adds a tease to it all. So I go all out to try to entice her by buying flowers and cleaning the house and so on and she teases me with some intimate tickling and touching and so on.

    In conclusion though the big things were us both creating the space so she did not feel an obligation to have sex.

  • John says: July 18th, 2014 at 7:31 pm

    @Andre: I guess one has to do what one has to do, to make things work. You are a better man than I. To me, something is not right if are not allowed to orgasm while your wife does. Only when she gives you permission. I think more communication and a little "putting your foot down" is in order. Man!

  • TN9597 says: August 6th, 2014 at 9:28 pm

    Multiple orgasms are entirely possible! My husband can make me achieve them!

  • Violet says: August 22nd, 2014 at 5:51 am

    My husband & I have been married for almost 22 years. I was 19 and he was 21 when we married. Throughout our marriage we have had our ups and downs, and people always asked why i still put up with him, but somehow we have managed to still stay together. I am fortunate to say he has made me orgasm since the first time we had sex. :) He claims this is how he got me to fall in love with him. He first got me by using his fingers then eventually his pleasurable tongue. Finally, i reach multiple orgasms by riding him. I love that position!

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