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5 Reasons THIS is My Favorite Sex Position
Oct
Have you and your husband talked about the sex positions you like and don’t like?
Have you tried various sex positions?
If you have stopped by my blog before, then you know this isn’t my first time talking about sex positions.
(I’m a Christian wife who blogs about sex, so obviously it doesn’t come as a surprise that the topic is in my wheelhouse).
I admit that back in the day in my first marriage, I was naive on the possibilities, sexually speaking. It wasn’t until years later when I remarried that I began to better understand that the sexual playground God has given married couples is full of creative possibilities, well worth exploring.
Trust me, no one more than me feels bad for my first husband in this regard. Years after our divorce, he and I had coffee and I was able to own and apologize for the sexual struggles that I didn’t address in our marriage.
Sex wasn’t our only struggle, but it was a big one. And lack of sexual creativity wasn’t our only sexual stumbling block, but it definitely played a role.
I didn’t know what I didn’t know, which explains why I am so passionate about encouraging wives today.
I think it is healthy for a husband and a wife to discuss what they enjoy sexually, including sex positions.
As much as mainstream romantic movies would lead us to believe there is one acceptable and effective way to have sex (missionary position), we intuitively start to realize that maybe Hollywood isn’t overly concerned with married couples having authentically great sexual intimacy.
For more on that, read 5 Fabulous Truths About Sex That You Won’t See in a Romantic Movie.
Missionary position, of course, is how most of us first have sex, with the man on top, face-to-face with the woman. It is the position that is the easiest to figure out, so to speak.
While missionary position has some positives, it’s not my favorite position.
My favorite sex position is me on top facing my husband.
This position is often referred to as Cowgirl, but seriously, can we not get hung up on clever catch names for sex positions?!
Wives, if you have not tried this position, I encourage you to consider it. You might be surprised at how arousing it can be — for you and your husband — for you to be on top.
Here are 5 reasons why it is my favorite sex position:
1. Intimacy.
There’s still face-to-face connection, kissing, eye contact. I am turned on by that intimacy. In other words, with me on top, my husband and I are still experiencing the intimacy we have with missionary position.
2. Better sexual pleasure for him and for me.
I wasn’t quite sure how to explain this. When I am on top, it is just easier to work angles, to make subtle adjustments, to control rate of movement and depth. It is a position that is more pleasurable, in my opinion.
3. His hands are free-er.
Touch is my love language, so when my husband’s hands are free to touch me, I like that.
4. Expression of sexual desire.
When I am on top, there really isn’t any doubt in his mind that I want to be there. Does that make sense? I want him to feel sexually desired by me, and when I am on top, it’s undeniably clear I desire him and want him.
5. Shared physical effort.
When a couple is having sex only in missionary position, the husband is doing nearly all the work. Honestly, I think the physical effort of sex should be shared. I don’t mind sharing the effort. I actually kind of like it.
I could probably come up with more reasons why being on top is my favorite position, but I imagine I have already divulged enough (all in the name of encouraging you, of course).
One of my most popular posts is Sex Positions for the Rest of Us. If you have some time, it’s well worth the read.
If you have never tried being on top during sex, are you willing to consider it?
Copyright 2017, Julie Sibert. Intimacy in Marriage Blog. Links may be monetized.
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This is a great position for the spouses. The intimacy factor is strong and the husband is helped out by the shared physical effort. I had not really thought about the sexual desire aspect of this position for intercourse.
“I want him to feel sexually desired by me, and when I am on top, it’s undeniably clear I desire him and want him.”
Every husband wants this, to be desired sexually by his wife.
Am I the only woman who is insecure about how my body looks when on top?
@Peggy… Thank you for your comment. Yes, it is not unusual to feel insecure, but it is possible to overcome these insecurities. Check out this post, which also includes links to other posts about body image: https://intimacyinmarriage.com/2017/06/05/3-ways-to-like-sex-when-you-hate-your-body/
You are right ,Julie, it is a great position forall if those reasons, but…any suggestions for the couple whose wife has knees that don’t work like that any more? Just wondering.
My wife doesn’t last very long on her knees. She starts on her knees but quickly switches to her feet planted on my sides. A Christian Sex Position book we own calls it “The Yoga Mat”. She can last a lot longer on top in this alternate WOT position. Give it a try!
@Peggy – I know that society has done a number on body image. We are so messed up as a society.
My bride feels the same way. I can say that when she is on top, the only thing I am thinking is “Wow, this is great!” and “I love seeing you on top” And thoughts about which parts of her body I can kiss that are in reach. And, how much I want to kiss her.
I’m NOT looking at or focused on the parts of her body she doesn’t feel good about. This isn’t a conscious effort on my part, I naturally look up at her face and enjoy the view of her breasts. And, that is about all I can manage to think about and focus on.
If you would feel better if he couldn’t see you on top, then try a blindfold. That could be a fun game and perhaps help you feel a bit more confident?
I’ll use m as my name, destroy this message will self destruct in 10 seconds.. lol. As a husband,with a “bigger”wife, I wouldn’t be with her if I were not attracted to her WHOLE being BODY,SPRIT and mind. It hurts my heart when her ” body image” says you should NOT be attracted to me. Think of this Earth suit we wear on this plane as an astronauts space suit. We take it off when we reach our home environment,which is fully and physically? in the presence of God, so as a married woman,have fun with your husband using what you are BLESSED with,by doing so you will bless both God and your husband.
@Jeff, yes, we do that variation, too (her feet planted on either side of me). It’s also great for reverse cowgirl. Our favorite sex position is her on top followed by many variations of missionary. I can tell that for us doggy-style, while fun, is overrated.
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Only guys love when a woman is on top. But the girls, don’t like it. It makes them conscious.
@Rolland Prillo… we will have to agree to disagree on this one. I love being on top. And I know a lot of other wives who do as well. So contrary to what you may believe, it’s not only guys who like a woman on top.