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Have you and your husband talked about the sex positions you like and don’t like?
Have you tried various sex positions?
If you have stopped by my blog before, then you know this isn’t my first time talking about sex positions.
(I’m a Christian wife who blogs about sex, so obviously it doesn’t come as a surprise that the topic is in my wheelhouse).
I admit that back in the day in my first marriage, I was naive on the possibilities, sexually speaking. It wasn’t until years later when I remarried that I began to better understand that the sexual playground God has given married couples is full of creative possibilities, well worth exploring.
Trust me, no one more than me feels bad for my first husband in this regard. Years after our divorce, he and I had coffee and I was able to own and apologize for the sexual struggles that I didn’t address in our marriage.
Sex wasn’t our only struggle, but it was a big one. And lack of sexual creativity wasn’t our only sexual stumbling block, but it definitely played a role.
I didn’t know what I didn’t know, which explains why I am so passionate about encouraging wives today.
As much as mainstream romantic movies would lead us to believe there is one acceptable and effective way to have sex (missionary position), we intuitively start to realize that maybe Hollywood isn’t overly concerned with married couples having authentically great sexual intimacy.
For more on that, read 5 Fabulous Truths About Sex That You Won’t See in a Romantic Movie.
Missionary position, of course, is how most of us first have sex, with the man on top, face-to-face with the woman. It is the position that is the easiest to figure out, so to speak.
While missionary position has some positives, it’s not my favorite position.
This position is often referred to as Cowgirl, but seriously, can we not get hung up on clever catch names for sex positions?!
Wives, if you have not tried this position, I encourage you to consider it. You might be surprised at how arousing it can be — for you and your husband — for you to be on top.
There’s still face-to-face connection, kissing, eye contact. I am turned on by that intimacy. In other words, with me on top, my husband and I are still experiencing the intimacy we have with missionary position.
2. Better sexual pleasure for him and for me.
I wasn’t quite sure how to explain this. When I am on top, it is just easier to work angles, to make subtle adjustments, to control rate of movement and depth. It is a position that is more pleasurable, in my opinion.
3. His hands are free-er.
Touch is my love language, so when my husband’s hands are free to touch me, I like that.
4. Expression of sexual desire.
When I am on top, there really isn’t any doubt in his mind that I want to be there. Does that make sense? I want him to feel sexually desired by me, and when I am on top, it’s undeniably clear I desire him and want him.
5. Shared physical effort.
When a couple is having sex only in missionary position, the husband is doing nearly all the work. Honestly, I think the physical effort of sex should be shared. I don’t mind sharing the effort. I actually kind of like it.
I could probably come up with more reasons why being on top is my favorite position, but I imagine I have already divulged enough (all in the name of encouraging you, of course).
One of my most popular posts is Sex Positions for the Rest of Us. If you have some time, it’s well worth the read.
If you have never tried being on top during sex, are you willing to consider it?
Copyright 2017, Julie Sibert. Intimacy in Marriage Blog. Links may be monetized.
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