Why Reconnecting Sexually After You’ve Been Apart is Good for Your Marriage


sexually-reconnectingIf you read my blog yesterday, you know I’ve been away visiting my family in Colorado. I drove home today.

And you know what I really need? (I mean besides catching up on laundry and sorting through mail?!)

I need my husband and I to make love. (If there was a bed of lyrics to that last sentence, it would be the enthusiastic “I’ll tell you what I want, what I really really want”).

Is sex something you anticipate after you and your spouse have been apart? Do you leave space and energy for that kind of reconnection?

Or do you find sexual reconnection is something that drifts to the bottom of the list—after the laundry and after cruising through the mail and after handling loose ends on the home front?

I’m a realist, so I do understand that sex isn’t always possible after a long day of driving or catching flights or leapfrogging across timezones. I also am a realist, though, in that I know there is tremendous value to reconnecting sexually after the two of you have been apart.

Even if it can’t always happen the first day or night home, I encourage you to be intentional about sexual intimacy within the next day or two. (I mean, if it can happen that first night home, by all means, make love!)

Why is reconnecting sexually after you’ve been apart good for your marriage? Here are 3 reasons:

1. It is solid affirmation you want to be sexual with the person you love and married.

I’m not going to go so far as to say that distance always makes the heart grow fonder, because I know that’s not a given. What I do believe, though, is that sex is something that you ethically can enjoy only with your spouse. It is good and healthy and holy to desire your spouse sexually.

So when you have been apart and then you reconnect sexually, it is affirmation to each other and to your marriage. And who doesn’t need that kind of affirmation?!

2. It helps reorient the househould.

Sex is glue—not just for the two of you as husband and wife, but also for your household. And this is true whether you have kids or not.

Sexually reconnecting with your spouse sets the tone, gets you back on the same page (or at least in the same chapter), and brings a certain steadiness to the surroundings.

3. It is great stress relief.

Whether you were apart because of business or pleasure, being apart can be stressful, traveling can be stressful and re-engaging with every day life can be stressful. A little stress relief is in order, and sex is fabulous stress relief.

Sexual arousal and orgasm not only feel good, they are good for your body.

Not surprising, my desire to make love to my husband after being apart from him is because of all three of the above reasons (and a handful of others as well!)

I could let my evening be consumed with laundry and tasks and digging into that stack of mail. But I promise you this…I’m saving some energy and space for what matters most tonight.

For more reading, you can cruise through my list of past posts, as well as my page with a bunch of posts on orgasm.

Copyright 2020, Julie Sibert. Intimacy in Marriage Blog. Links may be monetized.

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3 thoughts on “Why Reconnecting Sexually After You’ve Been Apart is Good for Your Marriage

  1. Anonymous says:

    When I return from a business trip, sexual connection does not happen. For my spouse, sex create more anxiety. There are far more important things to discuss. Sex is not a priority in our marriage which does make me sad sometimes….

  2. Running Deeper says:

    Yes Julie, I agree. For me it’s very important to reconnect after an absence and I am happy to say that it is also important for my wife! 😀

    I’m sorry Anonymous. My heart aches for you!

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