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When I first started blogging, he was around 11 and our younger son was around 5. At the time, I naively didn’t give much thought to what they would think about their mom speaking and writing so specifically about sex.
The 11-year-old wasn’t on the computer much, the 5-year-old wasn’t on the computer at all, and neither of them had a phone. How would they even know?!
It wasn’t until a few years down the road that I gave a mental pause and began to question if such transparency was such a good idea. I mean, here I was, talking about things like oral sex, masturbation, sexual positions, climaxing hard, and sexual techniques. So on and so forth, without a care in the world of how it possibly could be mortifying for my sons to have their mom speaking so candidly about sex.
But you know what?
I got over that. I remember talking to my counselor about it, and she wisely observed, “But isn’t it a good thing that you are speaking so positively about sex in marriage?”
Um, yes. Yes it is.
That’s not to say there isn’t some awkwardness. But I have been pleasantly surprised, particularly by my now 22-year-old. For quite a few years, he has expressed how proud he is of what I do and he isn’t even shy to tell his friends.
It makes for a good introduction when I meet people in his circle of influence!
Now I realize most of you aren’t writing and speaking publicly about sexual intimacy in marriage. But my hope is that you increasingly are not hesitant to speak positively about sex around your children—in an age appropriate way, of course.
Over time and a number of conversations, the awkwardness starts to dissipate. And seriously, even if they shy away from or seem embarrassed by your candid praise for healthy sexual intimacy in marriage, the commentary still does them good. You can’t go wrong speaking authentically about God’s gift of sex.
And it’s important to know that it’s not your responsibility that they carry those lessons into adulthood. Ultimately, as they become adults, they are responsible for their decisions regarding sex. What you’re doing by speaking positively about sex and God’s design for it in marriage is simply honoring God and banking the odds that your children know truth.
Happy birthday to my kiddo, who is on his way into adulthood. I’m grateful to be his mama! And I’m grateful for all the conversations we’ve had over the years and continue to have. What a relief it is to speak positively about sex.
Copyright 2020, Julie Sibert. Intimacy in Marriage Blog. Links may be monetized.