Sex as Comfort in Life’s Painful Storms


sex-as-comfortLong ago two men tried to break into our house. It was incredibly upsetting, as I’m sure you can imagine.

Interestingly, what my husband and I found most comforting that night was to make love. We needed sex in a way that was profoundly  intuitive and tender. I wrote about that experience at this link.

Have you ever found sex comforting?

Can you think of specific moments when you hungered for sex not so much for arousal and pleasure, but more so for reassurance and comfort?

Recently, my husband and I have been in the throes of some brutal challenges—not in our relationship with each other, but rather with some demands that another situation has put on us.

We are tired. Mentally tapped out. Discouraged. Spent in all the ways you can be spent.

And I know we are not unique in this. Every marriage goes through external challenges that cause internal chaos with schedules, communication, resources and emotions. There are countless scenarios that overwhelm a marriage, from the tragic to the mundane. They leave us feeling fragile, unsure and distracted. They may cause cavernous grief and uncertainty. And they compel us to take deep breathes and lean into long-suffering, because there is no other option.

It is in moments like this that I am humbly grateful for how comforting it can be to make love to my husband.

Have you ever needed sex to draw you back to center? Or maybe it’s simply to shut the world out and escape for a brief moment. Whatever it is, it’s clearly about comfort, right? It’s about safe haven with the one other person who gets it… the one other person who is in the battle with you and being hit by the same turbulent waves.

So for all we can say about sex being passionate and exciting and fun (which it is!), let’s not forget how significantly comforting it can be as well. In times of turmoil, do you draw near to each other sexually? Or do you isolate?

There is solace in sex, so embrace opportunities to soothe each other in this way. Your marriage, your heart and your ability to cope will be better for it.

For more reading, cruise through my list of past posts. as well as my page with a bunch of posts on orgasm.

And I have a 5 video series available on building better sex in your marriage. Great way to invest in your marriage!  You can find out all about it at this link:  Better Sex in Your Christian Marriage.

Copyright 2020, Julie Sibert. Intimacy in Marriage Blog. Links may be monetized.

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One thought on “Sex as Comfort in Life’s Painful Storms

  1. J. Parker says:

    I recently wrote about this too, but even though your post here came out before mine, I hadn’t read it yet! Interesting to note that we both came to this topic, though. Makes me wonder if there’s a particular need for it right now.

    But yours is beautifully stated here! Great insight. ♥

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