I was going to go with the headline “Messy People Have Messy Sex.”
But then I thought you would think I was talking about the actual physical messiness of sex (BTW, if that was the topic you were hoping I’d cover, I have written about it at this link).
Today I want to talk about the other kind of messiness—the messiness of our sexual journeys and how this messiness impacts what’s going on in our sexual relationship now.
Not long ago I was interviewed for a podcast, and we touched upon this.
Messy people do have messy sex, and that’s all of us to a degree.
Who among us hasn’t had our current sexual perceptions and behaviors shaped by past experiences, abuse, messages from others, societal influence, and/or things we’ve read or seen? Much of this is negative, for sure. In fact, I would say nearly all sexual struggles in marriage find at least some of their roots in the fallout of our messy and/or painful sexual journeys to that point.
So the question has to become, “What is your messy sexual journey teaching you?”
It’s only when we start to take a breath and take stock in what brought us to this point that we can then dismantle and heal the areas that don’t align with authentic sexual intimacy in marriage.
And that is hard. So hard. And messy.
Messiness doesn’t just show up in our sexual past. Messiness shows up in our sexual healing as well. It shows up in our growth. It shows up in our sexual now.
So what is your messy sexual journey teaching you?
Let me assure you of this. You are not alone if you think you’re one of the few who has had so much messed up stuff in your sexual mindset, behavior and experience. When you walk in your workplace or your church or your grocery store or your neighborhood, you are among fellow journeyers.
No two paths are the same, but I promise you that messiness would be a common thread.
I guess today I just wanted to encourage you. I wanted to say you are not as alone as you thought you were. It’s good and holy and right that you are sorting out the fragments.
What is your messy sexual journey teaching you?
For more reading, you can cruise through my list of past posts, as well as my page with a bunch of posts on orgasm.
And I have a 5-video series available on building better sex in your marriage. Great way to invest in your marriage! You can find out all about it at this link: Better Sex in Your Christian Marriage.
Copyright 2020, Julie Sibert. Intimacy in Marriage Blog. Links may be monetized.
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