Years ago I received an email from a reader about something he and his wife found arousing.
He said his wife would occasionally go to the bedroom before him and “get started”… and then he would join her shortly thereafter. She would either tell him she was doing this or he would lovingly suggest it.
Now I recognize completely that for some wives and/or some couples, this sounds more like a turn off than a turn on. And I completely respect that stance. But I also respect what my reader who emailed me was saying.
As many of you know, I am a firm believer that a married couple has tremendous freedom to express their sexual intimacy, as long as they genuinely believe they are honoring God and maintaining their exclusivity. If a couple finds it arousing for her to start to stimulate herself on her own before he joins in, I see nothing wrong with this.
So what would be the appeal of a wife starting solo before her husband joins her?
A wife may find it exciting to already be somewhat aroused by the time her husband comes in the room. She may find it easier to more readily engage in the moment if she has already spent some time shifting her heart and body toward sex. Or she may simply find it helps her relax before sex.
As a couple, it occasionaly may be part of their foreplay, so to speak, for her to start solo.
I know many people may have never heard of the above happening in a loving marriage, but for some married couples, it is very much a healthy part of their intimacy. It has nothing to do with control or intimidation, but rather it’s just one of many ways they express sexual desire in their relationship.
So what about you? Have you ever enjoyed starting solo and then finishing together?
For more reading, you can cruise through my list of past posts, as well as my page with a bunch of posts on orgasm.
And I have a 5-video series available on building better sex in your marriage. Great way to invest in your marriage! You can find out all about it at this link: Better Sex in Your Christian Marriage.
Copyright 2020, Julie Sibert. Intimacy in Marriage Blog. Links may be monetized.
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