It’s not too difficult to comprehend why receiving oral sex is pleasurable.
But what about giving it? Can that be as much of—or even more of—a turn on as receiving it? I answer with a definitive YES! But I might be fairly alone in that camp, especially as a wife.
I hear from men all the time who love pleasing their wives orally. I hear from few wives who share the sentiment. Wives who are willing to perform oral sex often do so begrudgingly or for special occasions, like birthdays or anniversaries. But it’s not something they initiate or suggest in the sexual encounters in their marriage.
They go there because they feel they occasionally have to, not because they get to.
Before I journey too much further in this post, I would be remiss if I didn’t offer up an important disclaimer. For some wives who were sexually abused in their past, oral sex may be too big of a trigger of pain if that particular act was part of the abuse. Husbands, if this is the case with your wife, be sensitive.
Marriage needs to be a place of love, and it’s not loving to continually ask something of her that stirs horrendous memories of sexual abuse. In those scenarios, I get why a wife not only wouldn’t see oral sex as a turn on, but she can barely embrace it as a possibility.
There are many wives, though, who have not been abused. Their unwillingness to give oral sex, let alone enjoy giving it, is more about preference.
I’m not here to convince anyone per se. But I do want to share some ideas on what may help you not only enjoy pleasing your husband orally, but also get turned on by doing it.
What will it take to get more wives in my camp of being turned on by giving oral sex?
3 Things to Boost YOUR Arousal When Giving Oral Sex
1. The right heart attitude
For many wives, this is the biggest hurdle. They see performing oral sex as a task, rather than a pathway to pleasure—their husband’s and their own.
As a wife, you are in a position of phenomenal sexual power and influence. Biblically, you are the only one who can elicit this kind of response from your husband. You are the only one who can bring him incredible sexual pleasure that most husbands say equates to feeling deeply loved.
So mindset is everything. When you please your husband sexually, he feels loved. Making him feel that depth of love can be quite arousing for you, if you let it. It turns me on to know that when I make my husband climax, in that moment he doesn’t just experience pleasure; he experiences love.
What is your attitude about his pleasure and your own? Do you value both? Do you see it as a privilege to bring pleasure to the man you love and married? If so, all these things can apply to oral pleasure. Oral sex has huge potential to be an amazing expression of intimacy and love.
And that’s a huge turn on.
Okay guys, cleanliness helps a ton. Maybe even some manscaping. I know I’m talking logistics here, but some wives who struggle with oral sex would be more at ease if the area is clean and smelling nice.
If she’s more at ease and isn’t distracted by things she finds unappealing, she has an easier time allowing herself to be aroused in the moment.
Which brings me to number 3…
3. A helping hand
As a wife, do you think of oral sex on your husband as an experience where you give and he just lies back and receives? If so, that’s not uncommon. And certainly some oral sex experiences should be that way, where he just gets to enjoy the moment without having to do anything.
BUT what I will say to both husbands and wives is that if you want to up the chances she will be turned on at the same time, lend a hand to the process, men. As a wife, position yourself in such a way that your husband can reach your clitoris and vagina with his hand.
As a husband, use your hand to caress her and stimulate her as she is orally pleasing you.
This can be quite incredible, because the arousal for both of you can build in sweet tandem. As you each are becoming more aroused, you have more motivation to arouse each other.
Not long ago, I received a comment from a husband who said he once reached down to his wife’s vagina as she was performing oral sex on him, and he discovered she was wet. She was turned on.
It’s not that far-fetched of an idea—that as a wife you can become aroused when you perform oral sex on the man you love. With the right heart attitude, a bit of cleanliness and his helping hand, this is all way more possible than you maybe have ever considered.
Well. Until now.
Let your imaginations and experiences run wild, my friends. Oral pleasure is a turn on to receive. And to give!
For more reading, you can cruise through my list of past posts, as well as my page with a bunch of posts on orgasm.
Copyright 2020, Julie Sibert. Intimacy in Marriage Blog. Links may be monetized.
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14 thoughts on “Wives, Want to Be Turned On By GIVING Him Oral Sex?”
Resounding YES!!! 😉
Never been comfortable with the idea…any tips? He would love it, never complained i don’t do it, but would like to heard more ideas on how to be more comfortable with the idea.
All I want to say here Julie is this, when I discovered that my wife enjoyed giving me oral sex and that it turned her on the joy of receiving from her in this intimate way simply went through the roof. No longer did I question whether she was doing this simply because she knew I really enjoyed it. She was doing it because she was really enjoying it!
It raised the pleasure level for me incredibly when I realised that my wife loves giving oral sex and gets turned on by giving it.
Thanks Julie, I do think a wife can learn to love giving oral sex and actually move to getting turned on by doing so.
Although I somewhat regularly pleasure my wife orally, about 15 years ago my wife last performed oral sex on me. I had no idea at the time that it would be the last time, and to this day I don’t know why she stopped. I’ve asked her several times and she won’t give me a straight answer.
There’s almost nothing I wouldn’t do if she desired it and this has me at my wits end, particularly because biblically she is the ONLY one who should……but won’t.
Been married 42 years. When we married, sex was all new to her…virgin ! Took a while to break into oral but after about a year she got going. The swallow thing was tough but she done it. She eventually began to really get playful, sometimes even flashing my best friend. NOW, all at once nothing. Never has initiated sex and gets very upset when I try to talk with her about it. No sex for 2 years. Lost….
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That’s taken years. You cant read a book on how to pleasure each other. If it’s not called making love it’s not going to work very well. It’s not rude and keeps no record of wrong.
These are all good ideas. For me, positioning is very important. It just makes it better for both of us to be comfortable and I don`t end up with a sore neck. He can most always touch my breasts if not my vulva.
Well said, and well done when both partners are relaxed enough to want explore each other’s bodies in the most intimate way. 💞
I could never of in my wildest dreams could imagined that my wife the very compliant person with the high sex drive I married her for would attach her whole self into giving me oral foreplay. Crazy at the thought of pleasing my manhood. That’s what she enjoys. She knows by messaging sucking licking my penis is a ticket for her to have an amazing orgasm. She knows what’s coming her way once she commits to my penis.
That is so true. She is beyond fear of anything sex. It’s amazing because we kept working on improving oral sex together because its something we both enjoyed so why not.
Oral sex gets the most responce. It’s a hot button topic. Extremes in many ways. I’ve had a very interesting life on many topics. Sex is a topic I love writing about because sexual healing has brought contentment into our lives. Its should not be a secret how blessed we are sexually but because we live in such a confused world not approaching this topic in a proper form could even cause more strife. In fact the purpose God created sex is to unify marriage. Often the opposite is the result. Godly sex can bond you together. The biggest tick Satan uses is deceiving people to think he rules in the area of sex. We don’t get our cues from him. Hes a lier and has always been the father of lies. If the bible says something is wrong it’s not maybe its wrong it’s wrong. We can make a big list of things that Satan lures you into thinking can bring joy to live if only you could wrong sexual things. But only ending up finding it ended destroying joy. Sin has a small instant gratification but always ends in guilt shame and maybe even judgement. But all the rest that’s not condemned in the bible is good as long as you both agree. If God has not but up a restriction
on a area sexual yhen its not forbidden. The big question is conscience . I could have a guilty conscience with many things in life if allow Satan to have any input in our sex life or any area of life.
Enjoy giving, receiving is no big deal. I enjoy the vagina to much for 50 years, it never gets old. We know what is comfortable and talked about changes through the years.