It’s not too difficult to comprehend why receiving oral sex is pleasurable.
But what about giving it? Can that be as much of—or even more of—a turn on as receiving it? I answer with a definitive YES! But I might be fairly alone in that camp, especially as a wife.
I hear from men all the time who love pleasing their wives orally. I hear from few wives who share the sentiment. Wives who are willing to perform oral sex often do so begrudgingly or for special occasions, like birthdays or anniversaries. But it’s not something they initiate or suggest in the sexual encounters in their marriage.
They go there because they feel they occasionally have to, not because they get to.
Before I journey too much further in this post, I would be remiss if I didn’t offer up an important disclaimer. For some wives who were sexually abused in their past, oral sex may be too big of a trigger of pain if that particular act was part of the abuse. Husbands, if this is the case with your wife, be sensitive.
Marriage needs to be a place of love, and it’s not loving to continually ask something of her that stirs horrendous memories of sexual abuse. In those scenarios, I get why a wife not only wouldn’t see oral sex as a turn on, but she can barely embrace it as a possibility.
There are many wives, though, who have not been abused. Their unwillingness to give oral sex, let alone enjoy giving it, is more about preference.
I’m not here to convince anyone per se. But I do want to share some ideas on what may help you not only enjoy pleasing your husband orally, but also get turned on by doing it.
What will it take to get more wives in my camp of being turned on by giving oral sex?
3 Things to Boost YOUR Arousal When Giving Oral Sex
1. The right heart attitude
For many wives, this is the biggest hurdle. They see performing oral sex as a task, rather than a pathway to pleasure—their husband’s and their own.
As a wife, you are in a position of phenomenal sexual power and influence. Biblically, you are the only one who can elicit this kind of response from your husband. You are the only one who can bring him incredible sexual pleasure that most husbands say equates to feeling deeply loved.
So mindset is everything. When you please your husband sexually, he feels loved. Making him feel that depth of love can be quite arousing for you, if you let it. It turns me on to know that when I make my husband climax, in that moment he doesn’t just experience pleasure; he experiences love.
What is your attitude about his pleasure and your own? Do you value both? Do you see it as a privilege to bring pleasure to the man you love and married? If so, all these things can apply to oral pleasure. Oral sex has huge potential to be an amazing expression of intimacy and love.
And that’s a huge turn on.
Okay guys, cleanliness helps a ton. Maybe even some manscaping. I know I’m talking logistics here, but some wives who struggle with oral sex would be more at ease if the area is clean and smelling nice.
If she’s more at ease and isn’t distracted by things she finds unappealing, she has an easier time allowing herself to be aroused in the moment.
Which brings me to number 3…
3. A helping hand
As a wife, do you think of oral sex on your husband as an experience where you give and he just lies back and receives? If so, that’s not uncommon. And certainly some oral sex experiences should be that way, where he just gets to enjoy the moment without having to do anything.
BUT what I will say to both husbands and wives is that if you want to up the chances she will be turned on at the same time, lend a hand to the process, men. As a wife, position yourself in such a way that your husband can reach your clitoris and vagina with his hand.
As a husband, use your hand to caress her and stimulate her as she is orally pleasing you.
This can be quite incredible, because the arousal for both of you can build in sweet tandem. As you each are becoming more aroused, you have more motivation to arouse each other.
Not long ago, I received a comment from a husband who said he once reached down to his wife’s vagina as she was performing oral sex on him, and he discovered she was wet. She was turned on.
It’s not that far-fetched of an idea—that as a wife you can become aroused when you perform oral sex on the man you love. With the right heart attitude, a bit of cleanliness and his helping hand, this is all way more possible than you maybe have ever considered.
Well. Until now.
Let your imaginations and experiences run wild, my friends. Oral pleasure is a turn on to receive. And to give!
For more reading, you can cruise through my list of past posts, as well as my page with a bunch of posts on orgasm.
And I have a 5-video series available on building better sex in your marriage. Great way to invest in your marriage! You can find out all about it at this link: Better Sex in Your Christian Marriage.
Copyright 2020, Julie Sibert. Intimacy in Marriage Blog. Links may be monetized.
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