I am completely fascinated by God’s creation. And one area where He thoroughly shines is the orgasm!
If I were sitting with God having a conversation and the topic of orgasm came up (you know, like over coffee or something), my jaw would drop, my eyes would get super big, and I would do a slow clap—all in complete awe and admiration.
Well done, Lord. Well. Done.
People at the coffee shop who were eavesdropping on our conversation and who had experienced an orgasm at some point would unabashedly join in my praise, I have no doubt. People would erupt in song, throwing “hallelujahs” and “amens” around like cupcake sprinkles.
So how would YOU describe an orgasm?
I have written and spoken about sexual intimacy in marriage for a long time, and over the years I have heard various descriptions of what an orgasm feels like. Do any of the below have you shaking your head in agreement:
A pleasurable physical experience unlike anything else
An intense blast of tingling sensations
A release where you body just lets go
An exhilarating feeling in your stomach as you anticipate something and then experience it with your entire being, much like cresting over the top of a high roller coaster
An electrifying surge through your body that feels mind-blowing
A suspenseful sensation similar to what you feel when standing near a ledge or on a staircase or bridge where you can see through the slats
Deeply gratifying relaxation
A concentration of extreme pleasure in your genitals that then radiates out in all directions, much like a huge fireworks display on 4th of July
Waves of pleasure flowing over your body
The best physical feeling ever
I’m sure if we sat around and talked amongst ourselves, we could come up with other descriptions, too. Ironically, one of the words that often is used to describe an orgasm is “indescribable.” Try as we may, it can be tricky to come up with enough words or the right words to adequately describe the intense sexual pleasure of an orgasm.
Experiencing an orgasm feels phenomenal. Within a marriage covenant with the person you love, an orgasm can heighten sacred vulnerability and oneness.
All orgasms, of course, are not created equal. Some orgasms are breathtaking and leave us speechless; the pleasure is so intense and gratifying. Others are more subtle. And still others at their core are all about stress relief.
What it takes to experience an orgasm can be quite the spectrum, probably more so for wives than for husbands. I am never hesitant to say that some orgasms take a lot of effort. Others are effortless, with some wives noting they can get wet and tingly just thinking about making love to their husband, and some husbands being able to get an erection just thinking about making love to their wife.
The anatomy of an orgasm is complex and simple; physical and mental. A lot can sway how enjoyable your orgasm will be, including the amount and type of foreplay, the sexual techniques and touches used, your attitude and confidence as a lover, and the emotional state of your marriage.
Many women (myself included) can differentiate between a G-Spot orgasm and a clitoral orgasm. For me, they feel different but both are so pleasurable. I experience both nearly every time my husband and I make love. Some women experience multiple orgasms in a sexual encounter, with the first orgasm usually the most intense, and then subsequent orgasms still pleasurable, but not as intense.
Is an orgasm better if you can verbally express your pleasure when it’s happening? Does the physical feeling feel more pleasurable if you can groan or cry out or scream with abandonment? Many people believe so. (I certainly do!)
Experiencing an orgasm, particularly for some wives, can be difficult. It is one of the more common complaints I hear from women. If you find yourself in this camp, my heart is always to acknowledge your discouragement. It’s real. Desiring an orgasm and not having one can be incredibly frustrating.
If you have struggled having an orgasm, it may take becoming more familiar with your body, as well as coaching your husband—not to mention patience in practicing—to get there. But rest assured, getting there is possible for nearly everyone. (Hint hint… check out this page for some ideas).
Whether you are still desiring that sexual delight and bliss in your marriage or you have been enthralled by it several times, I encourage you to never stop learning about arousal and sexual pleasure and what it can mean for your marriage.
And definitely be sure to check out my page with a bunch of posts on orgasm.
How would YOU describe an orgasm?
For more reading, you can cruise through my list of past posts.
And I have a 5 video series available on building better sex in your marriage. Great way to invest in your marriage! You can find out all about it at this link: Better Sex in Your Christian Marriage.
Copyright 2020, Julie Sibert. Intimacy in Marriage Blog. Links may be monetized.