intimacy, orgasm, passion, sexual intimacy, Uncategorized
“Better Than Sex Cake” and Other Random Thanksgiving Thoughts
Nov
We are having a family get together Friday, and I am bringing dessert.
Certainly by Friday, my peeps will have had their fill of pie, so I figured some chocolatey goodness would bode well.
As I flipped through my recipe box (yes, I still have one of those), I settled on “Better Than Sex Cake.”
I admit, though, I can’t think of anything better than sex.
Seriously. Not. One. Thing.
And this cake is quite phenomenal. But it’s not that phenomenal.
Am I the only one who thinks this way?
I feel like I should be the subject of one of those nature shows where researchers track incredibly rare and elusive creatures for months on end, all in hopes of catching even a glimpse of one of them in their natural habitat.
Of course, my natural habitat would be my messy bedroom, and no one would really have to track me for long (or troll me on the internet) to discover that I’m a Christian wife who also happens to be a huge fan of authentic sexual intimacy in marriage.
I should have one of those foam fingers that says #1 FAN.
Anyway, it’s Thanksgiving week, the time of year when we supposedly are in a better frame of mind to reflect on gratefulness. Some families even go around the table and each person says something for which they are thankful.
Extra pie and whipped cream for the person who with much enthusiasm says at the Thanksgiving dinner table, “I am thankful for my smokin’ hot spouse and their crazy mad skills in bed. Amen.”
Can you picture Aunt Janine or cousin Joey trying to follow that?
In humble seriousness, what are you grateful for when it comes to your spouse, your marriage and your sexual intimacy?
Have you told your spouse lately what sex means to you… what it does for you… why you still find them irresistible?
(Side note… when I began typing “irresistible” in that last sentence, the auto correct gods wanted to change it to irritable. Oh. My. “I still find you irritable, honey, after all these years.”)
Any. Way.
Back to this concept of actually telling your spouse why you are grateful for making love. Can you put that into words? Here are some starters…
“When we make love, it makes me feel…”
“When you’re inside me, it means this to me…”
“When I have an orgasm with you, I feel…”
“Sex with you is better than…”
Yes, when you are enthralled in the grips of passion, my guess is you’re also vocally expressing what it all means to you. But it doesn’t hurt to put the sentiments into coherent sentences, too.
Maybe when you’re clothed. Some place private.
Because let’s be real — the Thanksgiving dinner table just can’t handle that kind of heat. Unless your family already knows your wildly upbeat views on sex in marriage. (I can hear my adult nieces and nephews calmly saying, “Whatever, Aunt Julie. Pass the sweet potatoes.”)
As for the cake, I am renaming it “Almost As Good As Sex Cake.”
And you’re welcome, by the way. I mentioned “cake” and “sex” in the same post. What could be better than that?
Not. One. Thing. Not one single thing.
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My wife could list at least a dozen things better than sex. Chocolate would definitely would be on top of her list!
My wife says she sleeps much better after lovemaking, especially when it is good for her. I have offered to “help” her sleep better every night, but so far, she’s still taking a med.
“I am thankful for my smokin’ hot spouse and their crazy mad skills in bed. Amen.” So that’s weird to say? Huh. No wonder I got those sideways looks at the table. Just kidding! 😉
I think it’s a goal of ours for every wife to reach this point you talk about — to see sexual intimacy in marriage as both physically pleasurable and deeply connecting. Love all that you do to inspire couples to embrace this design from our generous Heavenly Father!
Amen!
I really feel the need to reply to almost all the posts on here. I love this blog. I pretty much read them all.
Work had a pitch-in Thanksgiving meal & the so called Better Than Sex Cake was there. Provided by our supervisor, by his wife, & she sent copies of the recipe. He, & others announced the name of the cake. First time I’d ever heard of it. Since they were so confident in stating the name I felt obligated to correct them by stating I didn’t know what kinda sex they were having, but nope the cake didn’t take the cake over sex. Either the blank stares were contemplating the facts of a lack luster sexlife or they never expected anyone to challenge the notion at all.
Thanks Julie. My wife is something I am very thankful for, & I will tell her again & again. The sex we have is phenomenal! You have played a part in that, as my wife has read some of your posts, too. God gets the glory for it all because it wasn’t always that way.
If I could, the 2 first replies above…I feel sad cause they took a really great post like this to complain. Not that they don’t have a legit complaint, but their irritation has gotten the better of them. That irritation was where I found solution. I got tired of my irritation & the fact that I was the only one irritated. My complaining & irritation was not effecting my wife, nor our sex life. Which was on the usual life support that accompanies marital unhappiness. For me, I stopped. I took the example of Jesus to heart & learned to stop a fight I had to stop fighting. I vowed to change me because I cannot change anyone else. Things like loving my enemy, giving myself up, & submitting to others started being the path of Christ I walked. Eventually, my wife & I fought less & loved more. Then the sex came back to be better than it ever was. Today, it’s still growing better as we talk more, flirt more, & enjoy a greater repertoire.
So, to those 2 guys above, can you give up the complaining to get your life back? Are you willing to change so much that your wife NEVER has a negative thought about you? Are you willing to treat her as a queen without expecting anything in return? That if nothing ever changes, you yourself do to know that you are walking the hard narrow road that pleases God, & that is enough to never go back to the old you.
If you think you’ve done all you can, you haven’t. I hadn’t. Nothing changed until I looked to give up the fight. I no longer had to make my point. I had to get me right before God though. I didn’t like being the reason for my wife to push me away. So I changed to be the man she wanted closer to her. Couldn’t do that without Jesus though.
There is no perfect marriage but we always have something to thank for. For me, I am thankful that my husband is a good family man. He is a good provider too!