25 Questions You’re Afraid to Ask About Love, Sex and Intimacy


25 Questions CoverI have great news!

Author and speaker Dr. Juli Slattery has released a book I believe will become a vital “go to” guide for any woman wanting to better understand love, sex and intimacy.

The book is 25 Questions You’re Afraid to Ask about Love, Sex and Intimacy, and Juli asked if I would read it and get the word out about it.

She sent me a copy and offered an additional one I could give away (because honestly, I’m not giving up my copy!)

Here are three things that are astonishingly profound and beautiful about this book:

It’s comprehensive without being cumbersome.

Seriously, this is what first caught my attention by the time I was 2-3 chapters in.  Juli tackles tough questions and strikes the right chord between saying too much and not saying enough.

She doesn’t gloss over tough topics, which makes me think she put a lot of thought into her word choices.  She makes every word count.  The end result is that in every chapter, she gives us deeply needed points and clarifications — without drowning us in lengthy hard-to-follow paragraphs.

It’s an “easy” read, so to speak, yet doesn’t back down from the challenging questions where many women are hungering for solid feedback.

It’s biblical.

Make no mistake, she drenches this book in God’s love and in His indisputable Word.  Juli humbly recognizes that without God’s wisdom, generosity and truth, we cannot frame sex and intimate love in its right context.  We simply can’t do it.

If we want to follow His plan, we are left with no choice but to align ourselves with His heart and Word.  What we do with our bodies and our relationships matters.

She does a great job conveying all that with grace and love.

It’s conversational.

The first two points I made are obviously deal-breakers for me if I’m going to recommend a book, but this last one is what really piques my interest.

Is the book conversational?  Do I read it and feel like I’m having coffee with this woman?


This is why I think this will be a book that can spur great conversations across generations.

It would be easy to assume the book is geared only toward younger women, but I believe it also would be an ideal book for a women’s book club or small group, no matter the ages of the women.

I also think it would be a great book for a couple of single female friends to go through together to help encourage each other and hold each other accountable.

And no doubt it has nuggets of insight for women who are engaged, as well as those who have been married for quite awhile.

So, all that being said, you want to read this book, right?

If you simply can’t wait one minute longer, head on over to Amazon and buy it.


Juli Slattery

Dr. Juli Slattery is a clinical psychologist, author, speaker and host of the weekly radio program Java with Juli. She is also the cofounder of Authentic Intimacy, a ministry passionate about reclaiming God’s design for intimacy.  Juli and her husband, Mike, have been married for over 20 years and are raising their three boys in Colorado.







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Copyright 2015, Julie Sibert. Intimacy in Marriage Blog. Links may be monetized.

20 thoughts on “25 Questions You’re Afraid to Ask About Love, Sex and Intimacy

  1. Homeschool Mama says:

    How do I increase my libido and be more sexual for my husband when my days are filled with homeschooling four children, caring for the house, etc.?

  2. Rebecca says:

    My husband has a wall around himself emotionally and does not express himself. How can I encourage him to let his guard down to share his true feelings with myself and our children? It would be so nice for all of us to hear the words I love you or to get a hug on from him on occasion.

  3. Anonymous says:

    How can I make intimacy with my husband a higher priority and remember how important it is to him and for us?

  4. Melissa says:

    I have had painful sex and now my husband is hesitant because he doesn’t want to hurt me. What baby steps can I try to find intimacy again?

  5. Anonymous says:

    What are the Biblical boundaries for sex in marriage? We all know the “biggies” and we wouldn’t cross those; however, I’m curious if there are any limitations on the two that are married in how they enjoy each other.

  6. Jeff says:

    I love great books on marriage related issues, however if the lower drive spouse is not motivated to make the change needed, no amount of reading will help. All these books are great, but it still has to be a personal decision to make the change.

  7. Chris says:

    Bravo to you Julie Sibert + Juli Slattery for your ministries and collaboration. I wholeheartedly support every effort to re-take and re-claim the topic and subject and substance of love, intimacy, marriage, and sex for God; take it back from the enemy who seems to occupy way too much of it nowadays.

    My overarching question is this- how can we take more ground faster? What more + different can we do as individuals and together as the body of God on earth, to help get God’s views and approaches visible to people?

    Bless you, and bless you again!!!

  8. Anonymous says:

    Why would a husband NOT want to stimulate and pleasure their wife, other than pure selfishness? What blocks a husband from wanting to touch their wife’s body parts below the waist? I know it has to be some sort of psychological thing with him. He was starting to touch me like I have always wanted him to do but he has gone back to being afraid to touch my nude body below the waist and it hurts me that I do all I can to pleasure him but I can’t have or don’t have a climax because the things I need from him to do so just isn’t happening but I am learning to come to terms and accept it and forgive him for whatever happened that touching me seems a trauma to him. I am still praying for equal pleasure in the marriage bed.

  9. B says:

    When your husband is the one with low libido, how do you – as the wife – not feel as though something must be horribly wrong with you, possibly even repulsive? When everything you read is about husbands who want more sex with the wives they love, it’s hard not to feel worthless when your husband has very little interest in sex.

  10. Jean says:

    I have the will to have frequent intimacy. However, I would love more natural libido. Difficult it seems in senior years. Suggestions. I already am o hormone replacements. Thanks.

  11. Anonymous says:

    Any advice for couples with a higher-drive wife? It’s not that he doesn’t ever want to make love, but it seems I’m usually the one initiating. Which can be fun, but…I really want to know that he wants me, too. Is it normal for the wife to think about and crave sex so much?

  12. Haran Paska says:

    I will tell you women why many of your men stop “trying” as you put it. Many women (my wife is the queen bee of this) offer nearly constant rejection. That is a spirit killer. Secondly, you offer a moving target and migrating finish line. “Oh hunny, id be more intimate if you would just help around the house a little more, and ease my burdens”. So the dutiful hubby, in an effort to help his wife, does the dishes and even floors and cleans up the kids’ mess. And he does it without complaining and without “expectations” yet, the wife now says, “oh, if you could only do something romantic with me from time to time, that would help get me in the mood”. so again, the loving hubby does as requested, and again not from selfish motives or a manipulative spirit, but because his wife expressed a need and desire. He does this as often as he can, and guess what?!? NOTHING IN SEX DEPARTMENT CHANGES! WHAAAT?!? Shock and awe! Now the wife offers a new “target”. “Oh hunny, just do (fill in the blank here) and i would be more open to having sex with you”. Now the husband sees what he couldnt for 20 years. She will never be happy and no amount of anything he can say or do, or hoops he can jump through would ever be enough to open his wife to sex. So now what? What does he do? He will not ever cheat, or leave, or view porn, but yet hes stuck. Growing more and more resentful by the day, more and more, the anger builds within him and the wife now lays guilt trips and blame upon his shoulders for being “impatient” and “mean” and “unkind” and “inconsiderate” and now lists all of those as reasons for not wanting to have sex.

    Thanks wife. Awesome.

  13. Pingback: Dr. Juli Slattery’s Insights on Sex and Marriage | Intimacy in Marriage

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