authentic, intimacy, sexual intimacy, sexual intimacy struggles, sexual struggles, Uncategorized
3 Things Sex Tells Us About the Lord
Apr
I have a doctor friend who says she never grows weary of studying the human body.
“It’s just so fascinating,” she said to me once, even after having spent months and years trudging through the grueling demands of medical school.
(Ya would think after all they try to shove into a person’s brain during medical school that other career choices would start to look more appealing, but not to her).
All that study made her falling-down-drunk on knowledge of the human body.
I admit, she’s kind of right. I mean, I wouldn’t ever want to go to medical school, but the human body is fascinating.
Just consider the intricate processes that must happen so that we can breathe.
And walk. And recognize the difference between sarcasm and sincerity. And get out of the way of wayward buses. Or wayward grizzly bears.
And get a minor cut and not bleed to death (even though the same blood seems to gush around our bodies internally every day without a care in the world about clotting).
Go. Figure.
The word “fascinating” hardly captures all that is going on in our bodies — all that we take for granted.
I kind of have the same enthralled curiosity about sex.
Not just the experience of it (although, I must say, that alone is worthy of praise).
My curiosity also is piqued when trying to grasp it within the context of the Lord as a Creator.
Seriously. Am I the only one who stands back and thinks, “Wow, God. Just wow! Kudos to you on the whole sex thing. Well played. Well played.”
3 Things Sex tells us about the Lord…
1. He understands the power of pleasure.
He didn’t have to put the pleasure in it, you know. I mean, He is the Lord after all, and He could have done it anyway He wanted to.
He could have made sex only about procreation. He could have made it much more rote and predictable and mechanical, so to speak. One-dimensional even, reducing it to something that has nothing to do with all five senses, let alone the more elusive quality of sensuality.
Part A. Slot B. Procreation only.
But instead, He made it messy (literally and figuratively). And involved. And lavished with undercurrents of emotion and physicality.
He crafted it as something sacred and dripping with raw pleasure. And though we know sexual pleasure isn’t just about orgasm, it is indeed also about orgasm.
And that experience — that feeling of climaxing — is one that is not replicated any place else in the human experience. An adrenaline rush may come close, but still… not quite the same thing.
The Creator of the universe saw to it to put that in.
How generous of Him.
And please don’t offer up that old lame argument that “He had to put the pleasure in or humans would never do it.”
Really? That sounds like bait and switch. Tricky God. And we don’t serve a Lord who tricks us into doing things. He kind of calls it like He sees it, lays it out there, tells us what to do and not to do.
He’s not tricky. He is generous. And the clitoris was His idea. It serves no other purpose but sexual pleasure in a wife. How can we possibly explain that other than to at least give Him some props on understanding the power of pleasure?
2. He trusts us.
Considering the power of sexual pleasure, not to mention the mingling of souls that happens when two people make love, we can’t help but recognize how much the Lord trusts us, right?
He chose to trust us with that kind of power, knowing full well the landscape inwardly and outwardly is wrought with temptation to misuse sex.
And yet He says, “I give this to you as gift for your marriage. A gift. I trust you with it. I trust you have the potential to guard it, nurture it, keep it sacred. Enjoy it.”
Sex is a vivid reminder of how much He trusts us.
3. He knew marriage would be hard.
It’s like God just knew the fairytale feeling would fade. The wedding cake would be gone. The cash from the dollar dance would run out. The well wishers standing on the sidelines would wander off.
And what would be left would be two people who had to figure out how to build a life. Together.
Build. A. Life. Together.
Marriage is so hard. Ugh. So hard. We are sinful people, easily bent toward selfishness and sin more quickly than we are bent toward sacrifice and humility.
Marriage is not for the faint of heart, that’s for sure, especially if you want a marriage that thrives rather than just exists.
Is sex your safe place with your spouse? Does sex help you be a united front, pushing back on the chaos of life that is almost militant in the way it wants to drive the two of you apart?
Sex isn’t just about babies. And it isn’t just about pleasure.
Sex is also about living out your one-flesh covenant in a way that binds you together. To enjoy life. To endure life. To find common ground. To have each other’s backs.
To not let the demands of wee little children and arrogant demanding bosses and obnoxious meddling in-laws force you into separate corners.
Instead of the separate corner travesty, why not huddle in the same corner together and have amazing sex?
God will meet you there and remind you why you need to do this sort of thing more often.
He understands the power of pleasure, He trusts you and He knew marriage would be hard.
Copyright 2014, Julie Sibert. Intimacy in Marriage Blog.
Bravo, Julie!!
We must think alike on this subject, especially as regards point number 3. Marriage is difficult with us very flawed (fallen) human beings. Sexual love was (must have been) intended to be frequent and mutually pleasurable to serve to bind married couples together despite all the friction of the differing personalities. (Those who take or promote a negative view of the sexual love within marriage are thus doing injury to married persons.)
But, the sexual love is so much more than just the physical sensations. The shared emotional intimacy, and trust, and shared vulnerability make it much more deeply fulfilling than just the physical pleasure.
I must say, I envy you, Julie. I have a hard time imagining that sex with my husband will ever be my safe place. Hurt, fear, disappointment, confusion, and doubt shadow our relationship. Is there any point to all the effort I am putting into my marriage? Are my expectations unreasonable? Can I trust him with my heart? Is the progress I thought we were making real? These are my struggles today as I pray for guidance. Thanks for your encouragement to me and others.
Hey Julie,
Thanks for helping showcase God’s gift of genuine lasting intimacy that the Enemy* has had too much success for way to long! Neat to see you and your peers making such a positive difference!
God is able and will restore what the locust have eaten. If not here and now – He will ASAP pending our cooperating as individuals and as His group of growing disciples!
Thanks!
George
*Lucifer = “light-bearer”
shining one, morning star, Lucifer.
He has gone from son of the morning to being the source for all that is evil and warped.
Satan is defeated. Though he has not surrendered, he will at the end of the ” Day of Judgement!”
Amen!
I love the truths you bring out in this post–thank you!
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This is amazing. Only recently have I found love after so many years of searching. So much so that I cry so hard when we make love because its so connecting and precious. I love the trust aspect and also want to add the oneness and intimacy to that so thanks very much!
Well done again. The clitoris does exist to become a penis if the chromosones line up right for a boy. But yeh, when it’s a girl he doesn’t just form it into something non-useful. What a Designer/Creator!
Another great post. Trust is the key. Through marriage and sex God also trusts us with the gift of joining him in creation – through love a new soul is created. No wonder the Enemy wants to mess it up and turn such a great gift against us.
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@Reba: if sex is NOT your safe place with your husband, nothing will ever be. You only have the relationship you demand. Investing in someone who refuses to change is a failure. Your wants and desires are completely normal, and you deserve to have them met. Tell your spouse that things need to change to prevent temptation and regret. Make the decision and go forward, invite your spouse to go with you, but go forward nonetheless.
It’s weird to hear God wants us to have sex. That’s weird!!!
@Nicki… I’m curious as to why you think it’s weird? God designed sex and the Bible talks quite a bit about sex within marriage being something sacred and valued.
I hope that even though it seems “weird” that God wants a husband and wife to have sex, that you will dig into God’s Word and find truths about sex there.
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Wow! Just wow,as a man married ONLY coming up on a year and a half, I wonder, if the discovery and wonderment ever stop.I hope not, what a thrill ride of a journey so far. Yes sex is a bonding agent in marriage IF both GIVE with love and enjoy SURENDERING to oneather as to the LORD. HUSBANDS this means YOU surrender too, in love your wants to the Lord’s will to care for the woman of GREAT character GOD entrusted the CARE of to.