Is It Sexy Being a Mrs? Well, If You Ask Me…

Mrs. Randall Sibert

That’s how my husband’s aunt addressed the card she sent me for my birthday today.

Mrs. Randall Sibert

Such a greeting scrolled across an envelope alludes to a different era, doesn’t it?  I miss that era, though I am not quite old enough to really have lived it fully.

The past several decades have, in a way, dismantled that era.

The era when all men stood when a woman walked in the room. And when “ma’am” and “sir” rolled off the lips of everyone from small children to young adults to the butcher at the corner market to full-grown men thanking the waitress at the restaurant.

Yeah, I miss that era.  It was on its way out as I was on my way up.

I’m not going to debate the whys of all that.  I know much has been gained through women’s rights efforts, and I (like a lot of women), am grateful for what truly are gains.

But.

But possibly at times we’ve moved too far away from chivalry and traditional roles and God-ordained distinctions between men and women — between husbands and wives.

Mrs. Randall Sibert

I have never felt sexier than when I became his bride. When his name became my name.

And of all the doors that have swung open for me because of women’s progress, I’ve yet to find one that sounds as sweet as the door of my home.  Where I get to be a Mrs. And a mama.

Oh, I know.  I make it sound like it’s been nothing but roses and romantic dinners.  Far from it.  It’s been a blessed place to walk for sure, but we’ve had to work at it.  Hard.

And part of what has helped us can be found in those words written on the envelope of my birthday card.

Mrs. Randall Sibert

I like being his wife. I like that he and I actually appreciate the traditional aspects of our relationship.

I’m not going to go all “Jerry Maguire” and start saying we “complete” each other.  But… honestly… as much as I think that movie line was not one of Tom Cruise’s better acting moments… I kind of get what that scene was trying to convey.

Though we each must bring our whole selves to the table, the way those whole selves lean into each other to build a relationship is extraordinary, in my opinion.

Sexy even.

So much about authentic intimacy (sexual and otherwise) can be traced right back to whether a couple intentionally values who they are together as husband and wife.

Do you as a couple struggle with finding each other amidst the chaos and harshness of life?  Do you lose yourself — lose your bearings — and even lose the foundation of your marriage — in the noise?  The literal noise. The figurative noise.

You’re not alone in that struggle.

But (I’m full of optimistic disclaimers, aren’t I?)…

If you do the hard work as a couple… if you consistently hold your ground on the boundaries that protect your time together… if you find what is empowering about the distinct masculine and feminine qualities you offer to the union…  well, you will build something sacred.

And when a marriage is mutually seen as sacred, there’s bound to be some pretty amazing sex. (And in my case today, some birthday sex!)  I’m just saying!

Mrs. Randall Sibert

That’s the sexiest thing about me.  I guarantee it.

Copyright 2014, Julie Sibert. Intimacy in Marriage Blog.