If you had to choose between nurturing your marriage and nurturing your relationship with your children, which would you choose? Truth is, we never are presented a choice like that. As wives, though, we sometimes behave as if such a choice has been presented — and our loyalty has fallen squarely with our children. Is it any wonder when husbands lament that they feel like “just another child” in their own home?
I’m not trying to be harsh, so hang in there with me. No need to send me hate mail or call me insensitive. I love my kids just as much as I am sure you do. But when kiddos enter the scene, we sometimes allow them to consume our lives… and before long, time with the man you married starts to take a back seat (and not the fun “let’s fool around in the back seat.”)
No wife wants to admit that she is willing to regularly sacrifice time with her husband, all in the name of being a mom. Sex and alone time with husband? That can wait. Cupcakes for tomorrow’s class party? Better stay up late baking those suckers. I’m not saying you should neglect your children (not that having store-bought cupcakes is neglect, but you know what I mean). I’m just saying that the covenant relationship of your marriage deserves — and needs — intentional devotion.
Here’s the irony to it all — one of the very best gifts you can give your children is a nurtured marriage. It’s GOOD for them to see that you are a wife separate from being a mom. Get playful with your husband. Appropriately express your love and interest in front of your kids — hold hands, touch, hug, etc. Make a concerted effort to spend time alone with your husband. Yeah, those kiddos may think it’s downright selfish of you (which has a ring of irony to it too… them thinking you are the selfish one). The teenagers may even roll their eyes in disgust. But deep down, your children like knowing that mama and daddy are in love. It’s some of the best security you can give them.
So, are you making cupcakes when you could be making love? Skip the kitchen and head for the bedroom. There will always be a nearby grocery store ready with some pre-made cupcakes.
On another note, I found a really great marriage blog called TheMarryBlogger. Check it out and be encouraged.
Copyright 2010. Julie Sibert. Intimacy in Marriage Blog.