Can’t afford the $50 negligee?
No cash for a one-night hotel getaway?
Don’t want to splurge for a fancy dinner?
Don’t worry. There are plenty of ways to arouse your husband sexually without spending a chunk of change on a ritzy hotel.
Here are 5 easy (and inexpensive) ways to turn your husband on:
1. Go commando.
Okay, I have to say, if my husband told me he wasn’t wearing any underwear beneath his pants, I can’t say it would necessarily get me all hot and bothered. But for some reason, if a wife goes commando, this can be a huge thrill for her husband.
This is especially true if he has to then wait to get to the prize.
So, as you head out the door together to some rather mundane event (school meeting, boring work gathering, etc.) whisper in his ear that you are wearing nothing underneath your jeans, shorts or slacks. Then smile. Then walk out the door.
To add fuel to the fire, while sitting at the boring event, place your hand (appropriately) on his knee or back of his neck — or use your fingernails to gently trace each of his fingers.
(P.S. You don’t have to wait for a boring event to do this. Any time you’ll be away from the house together is good. Going to a wedding or wedding reception? Heading off to a summer barbecue? The point is to build in some anticipation of things yet to come. Literally and figuratively.)
2. Paint your toenails.
If you can afford a pedicure, spend the $25 and get one. But if not, just paint your toenails yourself or have a girlfriend do it for you. Pick a color that you think he’ll find especially sexy (red, hot pink, sparkly, etc).
If he doesn’t notice, go ahead and show him and say, “I was feeling adventuresome. Want to know the other ways I’m feeling adventuresome?”
3. Get in the shower with him.
Whether he showers in the morning or evening, plan accordingly and join him after he’s been in there for a few minutes. Don’t announce you’re getting in. Just get in. (Lock the bathroom door, of course, if you have kids in the house).
Interestingly, the shower can be a great place to talk vulnerably. You’re already physically naked. Why not take the chance and get a little emotionally naked as well?
If possible, plan the shower escapade on a day where you have some extra time afterward to… well… do things that will require another shower. I’m just saying.
4. Put a love note in his car, briefcase or lunchbox.
You don’t have to have the skills of Shakespeare. Just write a few lines that convey how you feel in your heart.
Be specific. Maybe something along the lines of… “I appreciate how hard you work for our family. Let’s spend some time alone together later so I can properly thank you!”
You may even want to put some of your favorite perfume on the note for extra incentive. Something that really says, “Tonight is NOT the night you want to work late. Hurry home.”
5. Feed him his favorite dessert.
Okay, this may seem awkward at first, but if the setting is right, it can be the sexiest and most playful experience.
Pick up some gourmet cheesecake, his favorite ice cream, a gooey brownie or anything along those lines. Sit on his lap and indulge in a little fun (a kiss between each bite, etc.)
These are just five ideas.
If none of the above sound like they’d really do it for your husband, cruise through this post I wrote awhile back about how to turn on your husband. (And I hope this is obvious, but don’t tease him — unless you plan to follow through).
Honestly, the list of ideas on how to arouse a husband could be endless if we talked about it long enough.
What about…
A sensuous massage?
A sexual encounter where he must simply remain the recipient the entire time?
Coming to bed naked when he would least expect it?
Meeting him at the door wearing nothing more than one of his dress shirts? (You may not even make it to the bedroom if you do this).
Throw your ideas into the comment section.
You don’t need a lot of money to plan an off-the-charts sexual experience with the man you love. You don’t need a 5-star hotel, expensive outfit or $100 bottle of wine.
All you need is your heart and a little creativity.
Copyright 2011, Julie Sibert. Intimacy in Marriage Blog. Links may be monetized.
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We have been having a rather stressful few weeks (and I had been hoping for a relaxing summer!) and intimacy has taken a back seat. I might need to break out one of these ideas or something similar tonight.
Hey GC… I’m sorry you’ve been having some stressful days lately. I hope one of the ideas to re-ignite some intimacy works better than you can imagine!
Blessings to you!!
Thanks. I didn’t even tell my husband about this article, but he came up with something last night that could be added to the list – all-over body rub with coconut oil – lol!
Holy Cow Julie- go for the jugular why don’t you. Great tips and suggestions. Every woman should read this.
Excellent tips for the “poor man’s opera” Julie! – and hooray for GC’s husband getting the coconut oil idea. THAT was my favorite (wonder if he got it from my newsletter?) but I always love new ideas and you never fail to deliver.
Thanks Brent and Gina for your kind comments! Brent, you made me laugh!! Gina, I love your statement “tips for the poor man’s opera.” Beautiful!
I’m wondering… How can a man (in short, I’m a pretty good husband) encourage/guide/lead/etc. his wife, in whom he is deeply in love with, to this sort of activity? She’s sweet and kind to me, but — out of sight, out of mind I guess. I’m just saying it would be nice.
Thanks for your comment JC…
I know it can be difficult, but I think the more comfortable a couple becomes in talking about sex, the more potential there is for nurtured (and more frequent) sexual intimacy.
Tone means a lot. Try to bring up the topic in a loving way when you both are well rested. If at first she is not receptive to the conversation, take a deep breath and wait a few days or week or so and then try again… still remaining calm and loving.
Another option is to write a letter expressing that you love her, desire her and you want the two of you together to work toward nurturing your sexual intimacy. A letter can be a good ice breaker into eventual face-to-face conversation.
These are just some ideas. Once conversation becomes more comfortable, it’s likely that introducing other ideas of things to try sexually and/or ways to boost your wife’s sexual confidence will follow.
Takes intentional effort, but the rewards are fabulous.
Oh my.
Uhh – excuse me while I go take a cold shower.
Speaking as a husband type person, you’ve hit the nail square on the head once again. I vote thumbs up on all your ideas. Ladies – be bold, be loving. Do something a little wild and crazy !
Robert, dude! Re-read #3 and make sure the temperate is NOT cold. Otherwise you’re in for a lonely shower!
BTW, any recommendations on improving showers? There’s that general issue of one person getting all the water. Are those rain-style shower heads an improvement?
The shower always works for us! My husband also loves suggestive text messages.
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I totally agree the more comfortable you are with your spouse the more exciting love making can be experienced. Biggest turn on for me is pleasuring him and love when he returns the pleasure. A man want a lady in his arm. And a sex vixon in bed.
without a doubt, over the top, make my day-type of action is if she comes to bed nude. I don’t even need sex (every time) when she does, but daaaaang.
However, she says its weird and she feels… (wait for it)…..feels naked. I swear she said this about 5 years ago and since then I can count on both hands the total number of times she has come to bed nude. And we live in S. California!! Why would the wife NOT want to do something so inexpensive to please her husband!! I am so hated. Its because I am jobless. I am the house husband. She thinks that as long as I ejaculate, she did her duty.
Its time for the gym….
For all those men who are wanting to ask for more and don’t know how to do that – you could wake up one morning and tell your wife you had a dream about her doing this to you … And describe the activity you want her to try. And tell her it was such a cool dream you had about her and you and that she was so sexy. I think that would work better cause it’s not telling or asking for something she is not doing. It’s as though she has done it for you alr easy and your dream already makes her the lead role in it instead of pointing out a shortcoming in her.
Cannot wait til my husband gets home from out of town to try all this stuff on him. We are in a bit of a rut. I need ‘talk’ and he makes very little sound…so I guess I need to bite it and sow what I want and need into him…communication.
Ive tried all of these ideas plus more!! Nothing works anymore!
have a choclat syrup shower with him , 🙂 lols .
I love those ideas , we use allot of them 😀 Another good one , arrive unexpectedly to the bed in one of his shirts , works every-time , my man actually said he thinks its sexier than lingerie 😀
First off, we have 2 babies so taking time to specifically cater to our sexual needs is always AMAZING! We like to get a hotel every once in a while n just have alone time. We get oils and he gives the BEST back and foot rubs. he loves me in heels so ladies try that. Pretty much anything in heels. Nude or lingerie with heels!!!!!!!! And i like to buy sexy little panties/bras or lingerie and surprise him after coming out of the restroom. we also like to have a few drinks in our room before the “date night” so sometimes i get bold enough to put on music and dance for him. Its alot of fun! 🙂 Just my personal things. Enjoy!
I own my own business im having my hubby come up to help tonight needless to say ill have heels an a lil black nighty on hopefully this gets his attention instead of porn
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I’ve been married for over 3 yrs and for those 3yrs we have left each other notes goofy I know but it sure keeps our love for each other like the first day!! I didn’t really need to read these 5 reasons but I am always up to learn new ways to keep the fire going in our marriage and we do them all and I tell you they work indeed they do!!!thanks
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I’m almost divorced so it probably might seem like this blog isn’t for me. My husband left for another woman. Though neither of us are perfect, I really and truly tried to let him know he was important to me in the bedroom. He had trouble with intimacy, it seemed. At first, things were good, but over time I felt like he just went through the motions. As an almost single, I’ve remained pure, but I’m lonely. I pray that if I’m ever married again, it will be to a man who is willing to learn to be intimate, along with me. I’m willing to do the “work” and I’m willing to spice things up, I hope to marry a man who is also. I do realize swx is not the only part of the relationship, but it seems to be the caring and intimacy that helps smooth things when circumstances are difficult.
Me and my husband been together for 30 years he all way watching porn whole we are together in bed but when he’s dun whatching his porn he rolls over and goes to sleep I’ve tried everything but he will talk to me but won’t touch me I love him but iam at the age I want it a lot but I don’t no what to do anymore I miss him coming after me all the time
Hello all. I recently googled “why doesnt my husband touch me?” Many answers included pornography . I never go on his computer but ventured there and found such shocking things. I also found a subscription. I did not “open the sites” but saw enough to crush my heart. There were also dates and times. I found this weeks ago but said nothing. I changed a few things to see if he’d be more affectionate..no. i try to initiate just hold ing and cuddling…no. he had been picking at little things and hurting my feelings. I love the Lord and am attractive. He is a Christian. I had a hip replacement 3 years ago. He hasn’t touched me since. The hip works great. I told him i felt there was something wrong in our home not from God. I resigned myself to bring up the subject after the holidays which is for his family as my daughter and grandkids are in another state. But.. tonight i lost it and told him i knew and saw it on HIS computer. He denied it and asked me to show him. I went to the computer with him and it was GONE! He must have realized i checked it today and deleted it. I saw it. I saw dates and times. I saw a subscription and HE tried to convince me it was never there. I SAW IT. NOW either hes lying or I’m hallucinating. Why??? I feel ugly and old and want to run away. I got in my car and drove around for hours. He texted me to come home. That he loved me deeply..that hes not innocent but hes not evil and did not do things i saw with my own eyes and brain.. am i stupid? He deleted it!! Im so hurt and sickened by the little i saw. I love him but there’s nothing here for me. If i didn’t care for my disabled sister (she has lher own appartment but very ill) id run away. I feel like a little girl..a hurt child. I feel that i should now keep silent and know that God is God. I came home and he’s sleeping in his chair. Alone again. But i have to realuze im worth sometjing to someone..arent I??? Thanx for listening.