I don’t think I’ve been that stellar at saying I’m sorry to my husband.
To be completely transparent here, I know my weak apologizing skills find their root in my pride. I generally have thought I’m right in most points of contention.
But I’m humbly changing my stubbornness on the apology front. No surprise here, but I am not always right. Go figure.
Also to be transparent, I don’t have the energy I used to have to battle. Is that maturity or just getting old? Not sure. Let’s give me the benefit of the doubt and chalk it up to maturity. So many things just aren’t worth the battle. I can do away with the apologizing step if I just am more discerning on keeping my mouth shut a bit more. That’s a skill and a definite sign of some wisdom in a relationship.
Everything can’t be battled. When we are younger and have fewer years of marriage beneath us, we tend to be quicker to battle, especially on inconsequential things that shouldn’t be battled. Everything can’t be battled.
I think this whole apologizing thing deserves some legit exploration in a marriage. To my husband’s credit, he’s better at apologizing, too. Maybe we both are too old and too tired to battle. Or we’ve both just become all that more mature. Surely, it’s the maturity.
I mean, just this morning we had a petty argument. And I eventually apologized for being a little too harsh. Granted, I didn’t apologize right away, but I came around quicker than I would have a few years ago. All growth takes time, my friends.
At any rate, there’s nothing wrong with a little self assessment. I am humbly trying to become a better apologizer in my marriage. Because I am not always right. (I’m sure you are as shocked as I was to discover this about me. Ha!)
It’s just such an important muscle to develop… this ability to say I’m sorry.
It’s an intimacy builder. A relationship strengthener. A crucial aspect of lifelong friendship in marriage. And I want more of all of that with the man I deeply love. So I’m becoming better at apologies.
How about you? How quick are you to say sorry to your spouse when you really should be saying sorry? If you know this is an area where you need to grow, then do. It’s healthy and wise to recognize when you need to say you’re sorry—and then to actually do it.
Copyright 2020, Julie Sibert. Intimacy in Marriage Blog. Links may be monetized.