What’s Getting in the Way of Sex in Your Marriage?


sex-struggles-in-marriageWhat strange times we are living in, right?

A pandemic and economic upheaval and social unrest and political division and way too many uncertainties to list. What. In. The. World.

Obviously, none of it is surprising to God, but wouldn’t we all like Him to unpack it a bit more. Maybe give us a clearer picture of what things are going to look like…oh, I don’t know… maybe a mere week and a half from now.

Yes. I know. That’s where that little thing called trust comes in. As of late, we’ve had to trust even more. Lean in even more. Take deep breaths even more.

I just wanted to give voice to the exasperation many of you may be feeling in these strange times. Maybe all of those immediate and peripheral game-changer circumstances are crashing in on you. Maybe the catastrophic wave of hard things set in motion (at least for most of us) in mid March is what is getting in the way of sex in your marriage.

So many hard things. So many uncertainties.

Or maybe there were other things getting in the way of sex in your marriage long before COVID-19 skated into the scene. I hear from many of you who would fall into that camp. Sex was a struggle before we all gained a substantial body of knowledge on things like PPE, social distancing, phased openings, and hydroxychloroquine.

I’m joking about the hydroxychloroquine. I still don’t understand one thing about that.


Whether sexual struggles are new in your marriage or long-standing residents, how would you summarize what’s going on? What’s getting in the way of sex in your marriage?

This isn’t my first rodeo, so I know that the reasons behind the struggles could be quite complex and convoluted. BUT sometimes there is value in being able to state it simply.

What’s getting in the way of sex in your marriage? Could you answer that question in one word? Or maybe one sentence. Two sentences tops.

My hope, of course, would be that you and your spouse each write out your answer to that question separately (holding to the rules of being brief). Do this with a humble heart and a desire to address and heal the struggles together. That’s key.

Then share your answers with each other, not in a way to divide you even more, but as a heartfelt step to bridge the divide that already exists.

Can you do that? My hope is you can. You are worth it. Your marriage is worth it.

For more reading, you can cruise through my list of past posts, as well as my page with a bunch of posts on orgasm.

Copyright 2020, Julie Sibert. Intimacy in Marriage Blog. Links may be monetized.

Never want to miss one of my posts?  Subscribe via email on this page.  And be sure to join my more than 10,000 followers on my Facebook page and 11,000 followers on Twitter.

4 thoughts on “What’s Getting in the Way of Sex in Your Marriage?

  1. oldermarried says:

    What’s getting in the way?

    I would say health concerns, getting older, and not being willing to risk changing “what defines sex?” in a marriage. If you are 25, you probably don’t think about ever being 65, and I’m three years north of that. But it will happen, and if you are lucky, you will still be with your loving spouse. Sex will change… and what is defined as “sex” will change. My hope is that you youngsters will be able to nurture it… sustain it… and be flexible in how to adapt to the changes your bodies will go through. Keep your marriage alive!

  2. Notdeadyet says:

    What’s getting in the way? I would submit the following syllogism: Wives are only interested in sex when everything in their lives is PERFECT. Life is NEVER perfect. Therefore, wives are never interested in sex.

  3. Anonymous says:

    For us, the number barrier is my wife’s health issues and bad teachings. The health issues started over 30 years ago. Doctors and meds have helped some but now much. Bad teaching…that is another story.

Leave a Reply