All sex in marriage isn’t the same, right? Some sexual encounters pale in comparison to others.
I mean, it’s all good, but there are some sexual encounters that really nail the WOW factor for sure.
So are there things you can do to make sex more enjoyable? Absolutely!
This list isn’t exhaustive, but I trust you will scoop up some ideas you can put into play soon.
1. Come to bed clean
This seems super obvious, but a lot of people feel way too inhibited in bed for no other reason than they don’t feel fresh and clean and/or their spouse isn’t clean. A solution? Shower together or individually before hitting the sheets. Showering together can be great foreplay, too! If you don’t want to shower, at the minimum use a warm washcloth to clean your genital area well and under your arms.
When we are clean, it’s just easier to enjoy giving and receiving sexual pleasure. And don’t forget how fresh breath can make a difference, so be sure to brush your teeth. It shows great honor for our spouse when we come to bed clean.
2. Find the right room temp
Too cold? Too hot? Ugh! It can kill a lovemaking encounter if the room isn’t the right temp. I get that some couples have a hard time compromising to find a temp that works for both of them, but at least try.
My husband and I sometimes open a window (super sexy if there are thunderstorms) or in the winter months, we have a portable heater in the room that I will turn on before we head to the bedroom. You also can use a fan or simply adjust the thermostat.
When the room is a comfortable temp, you’ll feel more relaxed and focused on making love rather than “when is this going to be over so I can get under the blankets.”
3. Spend more time on foreplay
What’s the rush already?! Take your time with some foreplay. I love foreplay. I love it more than chocolate or bourbon or swimming or a latte — and I really love all those things.
Foreplay can be so crucial in revving you up sexually. Foreplay does more than get us aroused; it also gives us time to align our thoughts on lovemaking. Invest more time in foreplay and you’ll be less inclined to think about your grocery list or that annoying thing at work or the poster board your kid needs for school.
Kudos to God for designing our bodies with countless nerves and erogenous areas that when stimulated help make sex all that more enjoyable. Yes the orgasm is awesome, but getting there makes it even better. “I’ll take everything on the appetizer menu, please!”
4. Kiss more during sex
Have we lost the art of kissing? If you find that you and your spouse don’t kiss much, maybe now is the time to bring more kissing into your lovemaking. Deep passionate kissing can be particularly arousing during foreplay and when you’re about to come. Light gentle kissing can build anticipation. Kissing places on each other bodies other than the lips can be super arousing.
Figure out what you both like and then actually kiss more during sex.
5. Embrace freedom to climax in various ways
You don’t have to come only via intercourse. I’m not knocking intercourse, of course, especially if it involves positions other than missionary alone, but there are other avenues to an amazing orgasm. Don’t be shy in using your hands, mouth and tongue. Don’t be shy in exploring how watching your spouse arouse themself can be super hot.
Intercourse is fabulous, but it’s not the only way to have an orgasm.
6. Affirm each other verbally
Sex is more enjoyable when you are reminded by your spouse how glad they are to be there with you. Not sure what to say? Here are a few ideas:
What you’re doing to me feels so good!
You’re going to make me come so hard!
I love you so much!
Also, when you use your spouse’s name during lovemaking, this can be particularly affirming. It is a beautiful stamp of elation, so to speak, that drives home the message — It’s not just about the sex; it’s about how glad I am that I am married to you.
I hear from so many husbands especially who say their wives think sex is just a sexual release for them, when in reality these husbands are so profoundly grateful to be that close to their wife.
In your marriage, can you both grow in the way you affirm each other verbally, not only when you’re clothed, but also when you are in the throes of passionate lovemaking?
7. Appreciate the moments afterward
Linger a bit. Don’t be in such a rush to jump out of bed or roll over and go to sleep. Caress each other gently with your fingertips. Have some skin-to-skin contact as you lay next to each other.
You’re wet and sweaty. Your hair is a mess. The sheets are in disarray. You’re physically spent in the very best way to be physically spent. All of that is sacred ground, so why not go ahead and stay awhile?
What ideas would you offer up that make sex more enjoyable?
Copyright 2019, Julie Sibert. Intimacy in Marriage Blog. Links may be monetized.