Intimacy in Marriage

BETTER Sex in Your Christian Marriage

Sex as Stress Relief? It’s Like Exercising Naked, Right?

There have been times when I want to have sex with my husband not primarily because I love him (although I do).

Sometimes I’m just stressed.

And an orgasm can go a long way in relieving that stress. I sleep better. I gain better perspective.  Maybe I care less about the things stressing me out, at least temporarily.

It’s probably a combination of all of that, but I’m not exactly running scientific studies. No one has called me up to write a stress management book for married folk. But if someone did, there would be an entire chapter on sex! I guarantee it.

This is probably why no one has asked me to write a stress management book.


If you’re worried I’m just using him… you know, for the stress relief… trust me. He doesn’t mind being used this way. Actually kind of likes it, as best I can tell.

It’s like he just knows, and he glances at me with a look that says. “Feeling stressed? What are you doing all the way over on the other side of the bed, you crazy lady?! Get over here.”

To which I coyly say something like, “How sweet of you to notice!”

I’m certainly not suggesting sex is a cure all for stress. We still need to figure out what is causing the stress in the first place and do what we can to address it. I’m a big fan of counseling. And a big fan of replacing unhealthy patterns with healthy ones.


In the meantime.

Let’s keep sex on the menu of “Stress-Reducing Activities,” okay?

“Get some exercise,” my doctor said.  And all I heard was, “Have a little more sex. That should do the trick!”

If you are feeling stressed, you may be pleasantly (and pleasurably) surprised that sex truly does help. Not only that, if as a husband and wife you can build the healthy habit of finding comfort in each other’s arms, I think you will discover it has a positive effect on your entire relationship.

If you learn to be vulnerable with each other about stress and allow it to intimately draw you together, something powerful happens. It reminds us that sexual oneness is indeed a real thing — a unifying thing — an encouraging thing.

And on the spectrum of constructive and destructive ways to manage stress, sex definitely is in the healthy camp for married couples.  It’s right up there with “exercise.”

So if I’m tracking right, when I feel stressed, I should exercise more. If I happen to be naked with my husband when “exercising,” then all the better!

Copyright 2018, Julie Sibert. Intimacy in Marriage Blog. Links may be monetized.

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February 1st, 2018 by