Overcoming Tragedy that Sabotages Sex in Marriage. Do You Have a Story of Hope?

Often what is most encouraging is someone else’s story of overcoming sexual struggles similar to our own.

I know many people have stories of hope, and I want to give voice to those.

That’s why occasionally I ask YOU, my readers, for guest posts on difficult circumstances that impacted your sexual intimacy.

How have you persevered to come out still strong in your marriage? Possibly it was sexual intimacy itself that helped comfort you and sustain you in the valley of difficulties.

Below are specific topics I am looking for at this time.

They are heavy. I know. BUT it’s often in the deepest crevices of pain and loss where we most need hope spoken.

If you would be willing to share your story about any of the below, please email me at jksibert@cox.net. Put in the email subject line POSSIBLE GUEST POST.  If I think your story is a good fit for my blog, I would simply ask you to write a 400-600 word post about it.

If you think to yourself, “I have a story, but writing isn’t really my thing,” no worries. I can provide you questions that you can answer in shorter paragraphs, rather than having to come up with the entire post all on your own.

I know these are sensitive topics, so if I choose your story and you want to use only your first name (or have me change the name), I can do that.

If you have a story to share on one of the below topics, please email me.

Whether you are a husband or a wife, would you be willing to write about…


The desire to create a life with the person you love is powerful. For some married couples, what seems like the most natural experience in the world becomes a source of sadness, emptiness and frustration.

Add to this that a couple facing infertility often is trying to orchestrate their sexual intimacy around when it is most likely they can get pregnant.  No longer is it an option to have sex whenever they want to or not want to.

If you and your spouse have struggled becoming pregnant, what did that do to your sexual intimacy? What did you have to do to keep sex a vital aspect of your marriage?


Some couples miscarry or have a stillborn in relation to infertility struggles, so I realize this point could potentially tie into the previous one.

Yet I also know couples who have miscarried or had a stillborn, even though there really was no struggle in getting pregnant. Possibly they have other children. At any rate, the miscarriage or still birth took a toll on their sexual intimacy.

How did you process through miscarriage or a still birth to get to a point where you looked forward to sexual intimacy and it was enjoyable?

Death of Child

I have a dear friend whose son died in a car accident when he was 20. We also know a family whose son died of cancer when he was 18. And I had a cousin drown when he was 3.

Nearly all of us know people who have lost a child. The devastation is life-changing, including what it can do to a marriage as two parents may grieve differently.

If your child died, what did this do to sexual intimacy in your marriage? How did you cope with those struggles and not let them permanently derail your intimacy?


Nearly all married people consider adultery to be the ultimate betrayal — that the one person who has pledged faithfulness to you would step outside that to become emotionally and/or sexually involved with another person.

For some marriages, adultery is a death sentence and the couple divorces.

Yet I personally know married couples who have experienced adultery and have healed, stayed together, and re-built a strong marriage (sometimes even stronger than before the affair).

If you or your spouse had an affair, what did it do to sex in your marriage? What did you have to do to restore and redeem your marriage and, in particular, your sexual intimacy?

Caring for a Disabled Child or Elderly Parent

Some marriages experience extra challenges beyond the typical responsibilities of day-in day-out life. If you have been caring for a child with physical or developmental disabilities or an elderly parent, what has this done to your marriage?

As a result of the extra demands on your time and resources, how has your sexual intimacy suffered? What has helped you still nurture your sexual intimacy, considering your circumstances?

Financial Crisis

Whether it be because of a downturn in the economy, job loss, unexpected large expense, business failure or poor budgeting, a financial crisis can bring tremendous stress to a marriage. And where these is stress, sexual intimacy is often the last thing on your mind.

How has sex in your marriage taken a hit because of financial struggles? What did you have to do to heal that sexual disconnect?

Difficult Relationship with Your Family or Your In-Laws

Do you have one of those stories? A nightmare dynamic where your in-laws or your own family seem bent on sabotaging your marriage, either intentionally or inadvertently?

What has been the impact on your sexual intimacy? More importantly, how did you resolve to stay connected and united?

Other Difficult Life Experiences?

The above list is not exhaustive, so if your story isn’t reflected in the above topics, what is your story? What difficult life experience threw a curve into your sexual intimacy?

Is God calling you to share your story and offer hope to someone else?

If you would be willing to share your story, please email me at jksibert@cox.net. Put in the email subject line POSSIBLE GUEST POST.

Thank you! I have no doubt that the stories will offer hope to countless people.

Copyright 2018, Julie Sibert. Intimacy in Marriage Blog. Links may be monetized.

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1 thoughts on “Overcoming Tragedy that Sabotages Sex in Marriage. Do You Have a Story of Hope?

  1. Pingback: Overcoming tragedy and improving intimacy | Couples Counseling in Portland

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