Do you like the feel of an orgasm?
It’s an honest question.
I’ve met some wives who don’t care too much about whether they have an orgasm or if even having one is important in sexual intimacy.
I was that wife long ago, in my first marriage, and I didn’t realize then what my indifference about my sexual pleasure was doing…
To me. To my husband. To our marriage.
Yes, I know. It’s a bit more complex than whether climaxing is vital to a healthy marriage and healthy sexual intimacy. Sexual connection goes beyond physical sexual pleasure and release.
I know. But you get the idea.
Orgasm matters more than you realize. It does. Your husband’s orgasm and your orgasm. God was up to something with the orgasm, wasn’t He?
The One who hung the moon and stars and gave life to the smallest of creatures and the largest of ones too… the One who wired us with intricacies of mental fortitude and emotional wherewithal and spiritual longing and physical capacities…
Yeah. That Guy.
God saw fit to add orgasm to the sexual mix in a marriage; to give a gift that is both indescribable and uniquely recognizable at the same time.
So, your orgasm does matter. Maybe more than you realize.
Fortunately when I remarried, I went into it with a better understanding of how important my orgasm was to the health of our marriage. Though my second husband and I had never had sex before our wedding night, I’d had plenty of time to reflect on the sexual struggles of my first marriage.
Now before you think I am insensitive to the well-known reality that for many wives, reaching orgasm is not always easy, bear with me. Rather than harbor resentment about the predictability of the penis, our heart effort is better spent on understanding why our own orgasm seems elusive at times.
If that describes you — if you never have had an orgasm or have extreme difficulty reaching one — my hope is that you not give up. Contrary to what popular romantic movies may lead us to believe, sexual pleasure for a woman rarely is instantaneous.
It’s more of a learned art… experiencing an orgasm. And you and your husband both need to be good students to understand your body.
Again, contrary to what popular romantic movies may lead us to believe, sexually pleasing a woman is not something a man innately knows simply because… well… simply because he’s a man. Where did we get that idea anyway? Popular culture? Locker room banter? Misguided understanding of manliness?
I have no idea. It’s probably a little of all of that.
But today what I want you to think about is your orgasm mattering more than you may realize. And whatever preconceived ideas you have maybe had about sexual pleasure to this point, start today to grasp a perspective that aligns with God’s heart.
Educate yourself. I have a whole page with nothing but posts on orgasm. Seriously, post after post about your sexual pleasure. Maybe some of the insights in those posts will hold keys for you and your husband.
Your orgasm matters more than you realize.
Copyright 2017, Julie Sibert. Intimacy in Marriage Blog. Links may be monetized.
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3 thoughts on “Your Orgasm Matters More Than You Realize”
Looks like I need to do some reading homework.
I’ve been married for 4 years and experienced orgasm sometimes in the first year or so, but since then?……. maybe once? Twice? I can enjoy sex, but knowing what orgasm is like and knowing that I am not experiencing it… well, that’s a bit painful and sad.
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Thank you for addressing the wife’s enjoyment , too! So much of what I read is about servicing your spouse ( husband) dutifully rather than mutual physical ( and emotional ) climax. It I truly makes your marriage healthier to not forget about the wife:)