Back from the dead.
In the wake of the Easter miracle, that’s what we relish in.
Jesus Christ back from the dead, raised to give us a hope for something so unfathomable and mysterious and wondrous. It was preposterous then and still at times seems preposterous now.
Who is this man…this Lord…this Son of God…who would give me more than a passing glance?
At its core, the truth — this truth — is crazy, right? To think something dead can indeed live again. And yet, that’s where we will always land when we let Christ wreck our heart.
So what about sexual intimacy in your marriage? Can it too be resurrected?
Sex and Christ in the same breath. Sacrilegious? Hardly. He is, after all, about making things new. And honestly, I am more than certain that He is intimately aware of every detail of your sexual intimacy.
Every. Single. Detail.
When you look at those intimate details, do you see pain? Or glory? Do you see oneness? Or division?
If a sexual desert — short on hope and long on heartbreak — is your reality, then you probably have wondered. Or begged. Or fallen to end of yourself with anger and tears.
Can sexual intimacy in my marriage be resurrected?
Let’s work backwards on this one. Let me begin with the premise that if sex in your marriage bed can not be resurrected, it won’t be because of God’s lack of interest in this tender heart issue. I’m not asking you to trust me. I’m asking you to wrestle with Him. And rest in Him.
Because believe it or not, He is intricately entwined in your life, including your sexual intimacy.
If your spouse has refused you sexually, the pain is unbearable, isn’t it? I receive emails from people who are so deeply devastated by that pain that they run out of words when trying to convey it to me me. It’s that deep.
If you have done the refusing, your pain is here in the mix as well. What pain brought you to the point of refusing your spouse the one thing they can’t morally go get someplace else? Pain from your past? Pain from your present? Pain you can’t even identify?
“It has nothing to do with pain, Julie,” some would say.
And sometimes that is the truth. It’s not about pain. It’s about fear or indifference or selfishness or confusion.
But make no mistake, when sexual intimacy is not nurtured and valued in a marriage, there always is a reason.
My heart is for you to know that God knows more about that reason than you do.
He sees it. Feels it. Recognizes intricacies about it that you likely don’t even understand. Into it He longs to speak His hope and clarity. He knows what’s going on in your heart. Whatever is skewed or broken or pained, He wants to wrap Himself around it.
Can sexual intimacy in your marriage be resurrected?
I believe it can. Will you do the brave thing and start with Him? Will you press into His hope and walk where He leads you, no matter how difficult and crazy it seems?
You are worth it. Your spouse is worth it. Your marriage is worth it.
Invite your Savior into helping you fix what is so messed up in your marriage bed…helping you bring back to life what has died.
Copyright 2013, Julie Sibert. Intimacy in Marriage Blog.