Intimacy in Marriage

BETTER Sex in Your Christian Marriage

A Man’s Perspective: Sex Is More Than Sex

Big thanks to Stu Gray ( who is guest posting today. Stu speaks with great honor about the covenant relationship of marriage.  Be encouraged by his below post and be sure to check out his blog, as well as follow him on Twitter @themarryblogger and on his Facebook page. It is great to have a man’s perspective…


 Hi Ladies!

When Julie asked me to write a guest post for her blog – I first was excited – then I thought – What do I have to offer?

So, I figured I would just offer a little of a guys perspective on the thing that Julie is passionate about for husbands and wives: Sex.

For,me, Sex is more than sex.

You know how sometimes this can mean that? How “Hot” can sometimes mean “attractive“…or how “Sweet” can mean “Awesome!” Or how “bad” can mean “good“?

For me, sex means other things than just sex. It has many more meanings for me than just the physical act of “sex”.

Here are some things “sex” means to me:

Sex means connection – Sex is one of the best ways that my beautiful wife and I connect. If I feel far away from her, it is a great way to reconnect and feel close once again. Many times, sex offers me an opportunity to open up to her after sex happens. The cool thing about sex for guys is that the “connector” hormone oxytocin is released in our brains after our orgasm (it’s released in women various times throughout the day like with a physical touch, or a good conversation – not necessarily with orgasm). That means we feel so much more connected to our wives after having sex.

Sex means enjoyment – Sex is awesome. Thank God for that! Sex is one of the best things to enjoy together as a husband and a wife.

Sex means adoration – I can enjoy all of my wife’s great gifts. Physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually. I can adore the woman God has gifted me with. She rocks. And its fun to share with her the love that she deserves.

Sex means fun – Good. Clean (Optional). Fun!

Sex means quality time – Because of all the other feelings that I have that are part of the sexual experience for me, sex is a great way to spend time with my wife.

Sex means touch – Sometimes we go for a good while without good touch. We may brush next to each other while passing making lunch for the kiddo, or as I am headed out the door. Certainly there are other times of touch – holding hands and the like – but sex means more than just casual touch.

Sex means the joy of pursuit – To get to the act of making love, there has to be some pursuit going on. I have to engage during the day, I have to be respectful and courteous, loving and kind. It begins outside of the bedroom.

Sex means being pursued – I love feeling like ‘da man‘. The person who I enjoy feeling like ‘da man‘ most with, would be my wife. When she starts her pursuit of me to ‘bed her now, or lose me for ever’ (name that movie!!) That is an awesome feeling.

Sex means love – When we share ourselves physically, we are celebrating our oneness together. The Oneness that god created with our relationship. I am able to express love for my wife, and to God for the wife he has blessed me with!

Sex means lust – Yes, sometimes I just want to enjoy my wife’s body. It is an amazing thing. (Yes, I still love everything about her – heart, mind, soul and body, but sometimes my physical drive desires release).

Sex means sweetness – There is nothing sweeter in the world than enjoying the pleasures of physical intimacy with my wife. The verse in Song of Solomon comes to mind: Your lips drop sweetness as the honeycomb, my bride; milk and honey are under your tongue. The fragrance of your garments is like that of Lebanon. – SoS 4.11.

In my life, sex is more than sex. I hope this part of the list gives you a little look into the brain of a husband…and perhaps you can share this list with yours and spark up a conversation where he might be able to share some of the meanings sex has for him…other than just sex. (The Rest of my list is at my blog: The Marry Blogger!)

Photo by Alastair Moore

April 27th, 2010 by