“Hot” People Do Not Have Better Sex…

… at least not simply because they are “hot” by the world’s standards.

Hollywood has done a very effective job of convincing us that people who are physically attractive just naturally have great sexual aptitude as well.

I don’t know about you, but I am not privy to a lighting director, make-up artist and props master who are carefully choreographing my sexual encounters with my husband (which, obviously, is a good thing, because that would just be weird).

The point is that all those sex scenes in entertainment are make believe…they are “made” so that we will “believe” in something as if it were reality. (Let’s not forget…they aren’t actually having sex).

Naively, we seem to make the correlation that because an actor or actress looks so sexually confident and capable on the screen, then they must be that way in real life as well. Hey, maybe they are (who knows what sex is like for Julia Roberts in her marriage or Matt Damon in his. I don’t… which, again, is a good thing, because that too would just be weird).

I do know, though, that any “hot” famous people enjoying tender, passionate, authentic sexual intimacy got there the same where you and I get there in our marriages… genuine dialogue, willingness to put the effort in, vulnerability and mutual commitment.

Let go of the myths served up at the hands of directors.

Don’t let the physical beauty portrayed on the screen diminish your own esteem.

You’re hot. You’re husband is hot.

Take the time to find out how really hot you can be together in the sweet privacy behind closed doors, because honestly…that matters way more than any encounter played out on a movie set or television studio, with countless people standing around gawking and saying things like “put the pillow here” or “can I get the hairstylist to fix her hair” or “that’s a wrap! Let’s eat lunch!”

Ya know what I mean?

Copyright 2010. Julie Sibert. Intimacy in Marriage Blog.

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5 thoughts on ““Hot” People Do Not Have Better Sex…

  1. Scott says:

    Great post!

    Despite how the media tries to sensationalize the casual sex lives of the rich and famous, there are several studies that support the fact that those in long-term committed realtionship actually have the most satisfying sex. Great sex isn’t about what they show in the movies (hot bodies making hot moves), it’s about intimacy, connectedness, vulnerability and having a willingness to bring the real you into every sexual encounter. It’s about learning to be “naked without shame,” as I term it.

  2. JulieSibert says:

    Your comment, Scott, is right on target…thank you! You re-affirm so wonderfully that studies DO show that great sex happens best within committed relationships, where a couple is focused on being vulnerable and authentic! I love your phrase… naked without shame. Well put! Thanks again!

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