A Man’s Perspective: Sex Is More Than Sex
Posted on Tuesday, April 27th, 2010
Big thanks to Stu Gray (www.TheMarryBlogger.com) who is guest posting today. Stu speaks with great honor about the covenant relationship of marriage. Be encouraged by his below post and be sure to check out his blog, as well as follow him on Twitter @themarryblogger and on his Facebook page. It is great to have a man’s perspective…
Hi Ladies!
When Julie asked me to write a guest post for her blog – I first was excited – then I thought – What do I have to offer?
So, I figured I would just offer a little of a guys perspective on the thing that Julie is passionate about for husbands and wives: Sex.
For,me, Sex is more than sex.
You know how sometimes this can mean that? How “Hot” can sometimes mean “attractive“…or how “Sweet” can mean “Awesome!” Or how “bad” can mean “good“?
For me, sex means other things than just sex. It has many more meanings for me than just the physical act of “sex”.
Here are some things “sex” means to me:
Sex means connection – Sex is one of the best ways that my beautiful wife and I connect. If I feel far away from her, it is a great way to reconnect and feel close once again. Many times, sex offers me an opportunity to open up to her after sex happens. The cool thing about sex for guys is that the “connector” hormone oxytocin is released in our brains after our orgasm (it’s released in women various times throughout the day like with a physical touch, or a good conversation – not necessarily with orgasm). That means we feel so much more connected to our wives after having sex.
Sex means enjoyment – Sex is awesome. Thank God for that! Sex is one of the best things to enjoy together as a husband and a wife.
Sex means adoration – I can enjoy all of my wife’s great gifts. Physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually. I can adore the woman God has gifted me with. She rocks. And its fun to share with her the love that she deserves.
Sex means fun – Good. Clean (Optional). Fun!
Sex means quality time – Because of all the other feelings that I have that are part of the sexual experience for me, sex is a great way to spend time with my wife.
Sex means touch – Sometimes we go for a good while without good touch. We may brush next to each other while passing making lunch for the kiddo, or as I am headed out the door. Certainly there are other times of touch – holding hands and the like – but sex means more than just casual touch.
Sex means the joy of pursuit – To get to the act of making love, there has to be some pursuit going on. I have to engage during the day, I have to be respectful and courteous, loving and kind. It begins outside of the bedroom.
Sex means being pursued – I love feeling like ‘da man‘. The person who I enjoy feeling like ‘da man‘ most with, would be my wife. When she starts her pursuit of me to ‘bed her now, or lose me for ever’ (name that movie!!) That is an awesome feeling.
Sex means love – When we share ourselves physically, we are celebrating our oneness together. The Oneness that god created with our relationship. I am able to express love for my wife, and to God for the wife he has blessed me with!
Sex means lust – Yes, sometimes I just want to enjoy my wife’s body. It is an amazing thing. (Yes, I still love everything about her – heart, mind, soul and body, but sometimes my physical drive desires release).
Sex means sweetness – There is nothing sweeter in the world than enjoying the pleasures of physical intimacy with my wife. The verse in Song of Solomon comes to mind: Your lips drop sweetness as the honeycomb, my bride; milk and honey are under your tongue. The fragrance of your garments is like that of Lebanon. – SoS 4.11.
In my life, sex is more than sex. I hope this part of the list gives you a little look into the brain of a husband…and perhaps you can share this list with yours and spark up a conversation where he might be able to share some of the meanings sex has for him…other than just sex. (The Rest of my list is at my blog: The Marry Blogger!)
Photo by Alastair Moore
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When Sex is More Than Sex says: April 27th, 2010 at 7:16 am
[...] had the privilege of writing a guest post for Julie Sibert at Intimacy in Marriage. She has a great blog -and really believes in encouraging Christian women in their sexual intimacy [...]
Tweets that mention Intimacy in Marriage » Blog Archive » A Man’s Perspective: Sex Is More Than Sex -- Topsy.com says: April 27th, 2010 at 7:41 am
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Stu Gray, Marriage!, Committed for Life and Committed for Life, Julie Sibert. Julie Sibert said: When Sex is More Than Sex. Guest post by Stu Gray http://bit.ly/b7ReQl @themarryblogger #fb [...]
Sex definitely means more when you have all of those things!
uberVU - social comments says: April 27th, 2010 at 7:51 am
Social comments and analytics for this post…
This post was mentioned on Twitter by Intimacy4Life: When Sex is More Than Sex. Guest post by Stu Gray http://bit.ly/b7ReQl @themarryblogger #fb…
Amen, Stu! I read through your list with a smile and several nods. Sex means all of these things to me as well, and I really love your Song of Solomon quote. Great post!
Thanks for the props Dustin – your post on the topic was great too! (Read it here: http://j.mp/aNytqh)
@Chelle – It definitely does!!
Stu, great list! Thanks for so accurately representing us guys! Can’t really think of a single thing to add.
Thanks Scott ! I appreciate that.
Thanks for the props Dustin – your post on the topic was great too! (Read it here: http://j.mp/aNytqh)
@Chelle – It definitely does!!
It’s very important to me to “connect” with my husband. Thanks a bunch Stu for this male perspective. I know see my husband as less of a sex-crazed maniac and more of a love-seeking maniac (he he)
Top Gun!!
So what movie was that quote from?
Any ideas for men married to older women? We are 13 years apart.
Love this site, btw.
Thank you for the comment Maggie! Regardless of age difference, I think communication is always what is key to extraordinary intimacy. You mention that you are 13 years apart, but I’m wondering how long you have been married, how you both feel about your intimacy, etc. When there is mutuality there usually is deeper intimacy. What I mean is that do both you and your husband feel comfortable not only expressing what you like sexually, but also asking each other what the other person likes? Such vulnerable conversation can be powerful, and that really has nothing to do with age. If you want to dialogue more on this, feel free to email me at jksibert@cox.net. Thanks again! Julie
Sex is More than Sex says: December 23rd, 2010 at 4:21 am
[...] had the privilege of writing a guest post for Julie Sibert at Intimacy in Marriage. She has a great blog -and really believes in encouraging Christian women in their sexual intimacy [...]
When Sex is More Than Sex says: September 30th, 2011 at 12:36 pm
[...] stugray on 04/27/2010 I had the privilege of writing a guest post for Julie Sibert at Intimacy in Marriage. She has a great blog -and really believes in encouraging Christian women in their sexual intimacy [...]