authentic, intimacy, passion, sex, sexual intimacy
Making It To First Base
For the past several days, the College World Series (CWS) has been in Omaha, where it has resided for about 60 years. Yeah, Omaha has a few claims to fame beyond the Warren Buffet tie. The CWS brings people out in droves, and brims with a level of nostalgia that is unmatched at any other time in our city.
So why does the CWS make me think of sex? (Beyond the fact that apparently a lot of things make me think of sex)? Probably because of that whole “making it to first base” analogy that for generations has been used to denote what happens when physical desire and interaction builds between two people.
Do you remember the first time you made it to first base with your husband? That possibly was a long time ago, more than likely before you were married.
Once married — first, second and third base too often (and unfortunately) lose their allure. Home plate becomes the main show (Is Meatloaf’s ridiculously memorable ballad, “Paradise by the Dashboard Lights,” ringing in your ears?) “I gotta know right now! Do you love me? Will you love me forever? Do you need me? Will you never leave me? Will you make me so happy for the rest of my life? Will you take me away? Will you make me your wife? I gotta know right now. Before we go any further. Do you love me? Will you love me forever?” (Now don’t send me hate mail… I know the song glorifies out-of-wedlock sex. I’m just jogging your memory for illustration purposes. It was a catchy tune back in the day).
Back to my point. I totally get why first, second and third base lose their significance. Life crashes in on us. Kids and dirty diapers and money problems and in-laws and soccer practice and sleep deprivation and dog poop and empty milk jugs and a seemingly never-ending pile of laundry. And let’s not even get into the more serious issues that plague marriages, which I don’t take lightly.
Foreplay? Who has time or interest for that? Making out? Passionate kissing? Wandering hands? Let’s skip past all that and call it good. Let’s make it to “home plate” sometime between David Letterman’s sign off and REM sleep. Do you ever feel this way? A lot of women do.
But is there value in rounding the bases in their actual order? Do first base, second base and third base still have a place in our sexual repertoire? If we have been camping out only at home base with every sexual encounter, can we get back to the excitement of journeying down the first base line?
What do you think? Where does building physical desire fit into your marriage? Does such a question aggrevate you or inspire you? (I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t value your comments, so come on you all… let me know what you think. Your voice counts).
Copyright 2010. Julie Sibert. Intimacy in Marriage Blog.
Pingback: Tweets that mention Intimacy in Marriage » Blog Archive » Making It To First Base -- Topsy.com
I think its great. My wife doesn’t have time for it. Its difficult to take your time when she only allows less than ten minutes for any sexual encounter. I love long passionate kisses. She used to when we were dating. We used to kiss for 30 minutes! Now she thinks an 8 second kiss is “too wet”
Good post though…..but it takes more than one to play ball. I’m a husband here but I’m the one that misses taking time and long foreplay etc.
THanks for your comments landschooner… I always appreciate a husband’s perspective. It saddens me that sex has taken a back seat or is non-existent in so many marriages. Obviously I don’t know your wife, but have you considered writing her a letter to explain how the lack of intimacy is affecting you? A letter can be a good approach because it gives you the opportunity to get all your thoughts and feelings down and can be written in a tone that emphasizes how much you want the two of you to journey toward healthier solutions. I know, I probably sound like an idealist. I do think it is sad that your wife does not desire you. Breaks my heart and makes me wonder what her reasons are.
You can’t “score” unless you touch every base!
I WISH that were true Kim. I mean, I’m sure it IS true for many folks. But some women won’t even show up for the game. For them, its all about courting the players and the CONTRACT. But the game is superfluous.
Pingback: Slow Down | The Generous Wife
Pingback: Lord of a revolution? I think not.