authentic, sex, sexual intimacy, Uncategorized
10 Confessions of a Wife Who Loves Sex
Jul
I have to confess…
1. I wasn’t always this way.
About loving sex, that is. I’ve always been a redhead, though. (Immaterial to this conversation but thought I’d throw it in anyway).
With regard to sex, the truth is that healthy sexual intimacy CAN BE learned and embraced. An old dog can learn new tricks. Bad analogy, I know. You get the point though.
2. I used to think multiple orgasms were pure myth.
Like some crazy sex therapist just made that up to mess with people. But now I know better. I mean, I really really know better.
3. On rare occasion, I have been too tired for sex.
That’s when I make him do all the work. He doesn’t seem to mind.
4. I am nicer to my husband and he is nicer to me. Because of sex.
I think we would still be nice to each other without the sex, but not really nice. It would be the fake nice. Like how you smile at the woman on the PTA committee, even though you can barely tolerate her.
5. Sex is really cheap entertainment.
Even if you toss in a Mike’s Hard Lemonade beforehand, we’re still looking at less than $5 for the night.
6. I don’t care how dirty the sheets get.
Who’s going to see these sheets anyway? If someone is checking out my sheets, I’ve got way bigger problems to figure out.
7. I believe wholeheartedly that my sons will grow up with a healthy God-honoring attitude about sex.
They may even bring up the topic at Thanksgiving dinner. You know, like when you go around the table and everyone says what they are grateful for. I can just imagine them as adults, sitting there with their wives, saying, “I am so thankful for God’s gift of sex. Grandma, what are you thankful for?”
8. I have thought of my grocery list while having sex.
But it contained stuff like whipped cream and hot fudge, so it doesn’t really count. The list, that is. The sex counts.
9. I think guys like it when their wives occasionally go commando.
Well… I think my guy likes that. I don’t know about your guy.
10. We’ve never done the role play thing.
I don’t think I could stay in character. “Hey you thief… whatcha doin trying to steal my heart? Come on over here so I can arrest you.” I’m laughing just thinking about it. I would still use the handcuffs though.
Any other wives who love sex have some confessions to share? Keep it clean sisters, but feel free to share…
Copyright 2012, Julie Sibert. Intimacy in Marriage Blog.
Oh and don’t forget to check out my eBook Pursuit of Passion: Discovering True Intimacy in Your Marriage.
Thank you for this! Good to know that things can change. You may remember that I posted a while back about needing to communicate with my hubby…. And we did! It’s a step in the right direction and I am hopeful.
Great post! Very funny, too! I definitely enjoy intimacy with my husband and it makes our connection outside the bedroom even greater.
We tried the whole role play thing, it didn’t really work, I couldn’t stay in character either.
Don’t forget… when you *have* more sex, you *want* more sex! 🙂
Love this!! I tell our small group and my sisters all the time how amazing sex is for me and can be for them to if they open themselves up more. Most look at me like I’m delusional. It is refreshing to hear that other women are enjoying their sex lives the way God intended us to! 🙂
My confession would be a pat on the fanny from my hubby afterwards for me is kinda like putting a bow on a present! 😉
I LOVE this!!!
I love that you put that you are nicer to him and he is nicer to you because of sex. I have found that to be true for us, but I wasn’t sure if was a normal thing. I have to confess, that sometimes I get mad, but I react nicely because I want sex later. Is that wrong? Also, since God has changed my views and attitudes about sex, I sometimes feel like a teenage boy, thinking about it A LOT!!
Thanks for the comments everyone!
Yes, @happywife… I definitely think it’s normal that if the sexual intimacy is nurtured, a husband and wife are nicer to each other.
I think about sex a lot too, so you’re not alone on that one! Ha!
Great post. I am too a redhead which brings the question to mind : Do redhead really have more fun or do we like sex more?
I love this post. I think that everything goes more smoothly in a marriage when both partners are enjoying sex regularly . It is easier to be nicer, as you said, and it’s also easier to “put up with” things that would normally annoy you. And, having more sex does put you in the mood for, well, more sex.
I have thought about the role play thing, but am not sure we could get into that! But we are definitely doing and saying things we would not have just a few years ago.
Ha! So true and I can relate to the post so well. Thanks for sharing!
Megan
Julie — I love it, and I will be sharing it! lol
BTW, perhaps I dropped the ball (I cannot remember), but we never connected for an interview. Are you still game for that?
Kevin
Ha! Other than the first two, I could have written this list, and I wish some of my friends would read it!
People laugh at us and roll their eyes when I say that my husband and I are still “nice” to each other in part because we frequently have sex. After 4 years of marriage, I’m getting a little tired of people saying “Oh you’re still in the honeymoon phase”… not only is that statistically untrue but I wish people would just accept that I still REALLY LIKE my husband. Sex has a lot to do with this for sure! When we are intimate regularly, there is less grumpiness, less argument over small stuff, more loving feelings. Win win win. Even if I do make him do all the work when I’m too tired 😉
The roleplay comment totally cracked me up. Friends have privately indicated to me that they think that because we both really like sex, we must have some crazy sex life full of daring and adventure… but we are the most “vanilla” sex-in-bed-at-night-lights-out type people. And we like it that way.
I love this! There are a few times I have wanted to voice these things or others. Hmm I will have to think on it, you may just have started a trend! Love J’s too! Julie, you are the woman! 🙂
Love this post, Julie! My confession is that (now that we are talking about all aspects of our lives, including our love life), now that I know my husband likes to look at me ( I have almost shushed the “you’re too fat” inner voices) we use candles every time, and I almost always start out with sexy lingerie. He’s much happier, feels very loved, which in turn makes him romance me and shower me with love. Thanks for your great blog, Julie!
LOVE! LOVE! LOVE! THIS!
Too cute!
I love this list! I agree with all of the points made here. I hate it that for #1 it took me until about year 16 of a so far 24 year marriage to get IT, and understand the plan God has for a married couple. Now, I too LOVE the sexual intimacy that we share.
Also, conversely for #8….I have on occasion thought some random thought during sex….but now my problem seems to be the opposite too…thinking racy thoughts about my husband at really inappropriate times 🙂 like church or family gatherings…..oh, what a problem to have.
Most of my friends I try to explain what the Lord has done to my heart, just look at me like I am crazy. It’s okay though, I just keep praying that they get IT too, and soon.
Love the articles, thanks for sharing!
Yes @Shane I do remember you commenting previously! Praise God for the good work He is doing. Your marriage is worth it!
I’m 42 and pregnant. God’s plan – not exactly ours. When I was spreading the news, folks would make comments to imply that I was “too old” and I should “know better.” I just look them in the eye and say “I can’t help it my husband is hot and I can’t keep my hands off of him.” All of a sudden, they were a little jealous.
Lucky (Blessed) husbands!
Number 6 caught my eye. Foreplay for us is spreading a towel on the bed.
Sigh…
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Love this, Julie! Makes me smile. 🙂 May we all be so positive! I think I might need to jump on the bandwagon and do one of these myself for my next “Sex Talk Monday.” Keep up the good work!
who hasn’t fuzzed out occasionally? now if it happens alot then you had better start talking, pointing or directing hubby if you can’t keep your head in the game. It’s so nice to hear that it’s not just me being a horn-dog! 🙂 Oh yeah and we have been married 21 years and have six kids … 5 at home 😉
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My husband and I have a very healthy sex life. We have done the role playing. It doesn’t matter if you slip out of character. It doesn’t make the sex a failure. Our thought is that as long as it is the two of us in a marriage, it is no one else’s business what we do. I can tell you after 13 years of marriage, it’s hotter than it was when we were young and didn’t really know what we were doing. Thanks for your blog!
We have put a website together that celebrate sex in marriage, this is a little edgy for some, but love hot monogamy. http://www.marriageheat.com
Will surely share on my fanpage !! We inspire intimacy – our goal is to get couples communicating, laughing, and enjoying sex !! (Fanpage :: http://www.facebook.com/EveisFaithful)
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I’m loving this website! I’m a 20 year old, newlywed of just shy of a year (it will be a year next week!). You speak so freely and confidently of sex, but so Biblically-based and God-fearing. I love God and His creation of loving (what we call it in my house). We are totally “organic” lovers with no “additives” (if you catch my drift…) but definitely not the least bit boring. I’m so very very thankful for our time together. And I HEAR YA to the dirty sheets thing….happens routinely.
Thanks again!
I will tell you why you have a better relationship with your husband when you have a good sex life.
1) The brain releases drugs during an orgasm. Women release more than men. This drug can cause you to be extra trusting, and even fall in love.
2) men have a very strong libido, and when their own wife won’t have sex with them, they feel lied to and cheated. And it is hard to have a close relationship with someone you believe lied and cheated you. And my guess is that women will never understand this point because they will never have enough testosterone in their system. The very thing that makes your man manly is also what makes him horny.
3) I also believe God gave women a closer relationship to the mate when they submitted to pleasing her husband. Likewise a husband is happier when he saves his sexual desires for his wife.
Addressing mind, body and spirit is key to having a great sex relationship with your husband. Women over 40 particularly need to address their health issues and mental hang-ups. Get healthy in all three areas and see how wonderful sex can be again.
I thank God for his gift of Orgasm. I make reference to it as the human equivalent to being in the presence of God (worship). You’ll never be disappointed and always want more!
Thank you for worship!
I truly believe that when ur marriage is built off of God, that sex is even better. Some poeple think that we might be out of our mind but if u look in the bible there is more then a few verses with sex in a sense. The plain fact that God made Adam and better half who is eve out of his body parts it the #1 and they were naked until she eat fruit from the tree. Then if u read Song of Solom that is an entire love story with every sexual scriputre talking about the woman breasts. So I def. agree that sex it great with my husband and even more so since we have had God in our lives, after I graduted Alabama Teen Challange and we renewed our vows, everything fell in place I mean we like jack rabbits everyday a couple times a day. So keep God in everything u do with ur spouse and I promise every aspect of life with him or her with be the best ever, because God wants it to be.
Where’s the real content. Lot of effort, and no real story.
I believe that the dimension that is missing in the sexual relationship between man and wife is simply that this is the closest mankind can get to experience the bond of unity, joy and glory that exists in the unity of the Godhead. It is for this reason that sex should only occur between man and wife as ordained by God and another reason why we should treat it with sufficient respect and not at all as if it were something dirty and to be avoided at all cost. Scripture is replete with positive references to sex conducted in the right context but condemns it in the wrong.
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i have never heard of any wife at any time go up to her husband and tell him to be ready for some frolicking….it’s usually my husband that needs the relief not me……i find it that most women lose their intimacy with their husbands after a few years of marriage…but yet don’t seem to have any issues to participate with co-workers…..