For many of you, this Christmas is particularly stressful. Consequentially, your marriage may not exactly be smooth sailing either, what with how stress seems to ricochet around, picking up momentum with everything it hits.
Maybe the added pressure is because of upheaval caused by the pandemic, whether it be job loss or added job responsibilities, health concerns, a loss of a loved one or disruption in your family’s schedules. Add to this the emotional toll of not being able to gather with friends and extended family members as we normally would, and it’s no wonder we are all feeling a bit undone.
Or maybe the holidays are always a time where you feel you are traversing rocky emotional territory. While Christmas can stir joy and good cheer, it also can trigger sadness and disappointment for some people.
I know one thing that is helping me right now is taking a breath and asking myself, “What will be peaceful for my marriage this Christmas?” I encourage you to ask yourself the same question. How we each individually answer that will vary, of course. I know for me, I’m definitely in “pick my battle” mode—and choosing to see that virtually nothing right at this moment is worth battling over.
I’m also doing good self care, because I know that there is a wee bit of truth to that old adage that if mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy. Moms often set the tone for the house. If I’m taking care of me, I’m calmer. Self care doesn’t have to be anything elaborate. A walk in the fresh air. A cup of coffee and 15 minutes alone. A hot bath at the end of the day. An encouraging phone call or text session with a close friend. Decorating the tree with my 16-year-old.
And all you husbands (and the kids in the house, too)… self care is a wise investment for you as well. What can you do for yourself so you can best enjoy the moments of the holidays, especially the little moments?
Those of you who have followed me for awhile also know I am a big fan of you and your spouse touching base to make sure you are on the same page. You can interpret “touching base” however you like. Touch all the bases! Maybe even more than once in the same week?!! Some passionate touch can go a long way. But certainly at the minimum, have a heart-to-heart conversation and unpack the question, “What will be peaceful for our marriage this Christmas?”
Christmas is upon us in a few short days. Find your moments and find your peace—for yourself and for your marriage. That’s my heart’s desire for you.
Copyright 2020, Julie Sibert. Intimacy in Marriage Blog. Links may be monetized.