Countless marriages go through lulls where the relationship isn’t in jeopardy, but it’s not thriving fully either.
And sometimes this is because one person doesn’t have the emotional or physical reserve or the desire to pour into the marriage. I’m not making excuses, mind you. I’m simply calling it like it is.
There’s a lull and one spouse is somewhat stagnant. The other spouse is left feeling a bit let down or discouraged.
So you have a choice to make if you are the spouse who wants more relational connectedness and growth, but your beloved is kind of dragging their feet on such an endeavor.
If you can’t work on your marriage, will you work on you?
Consider this. You love your spouse dearly, but you know lamenting about their ho-hum attitude about the marriage isn’t going to help matters.
I encourage you to still be kind and respectful to your spouse, but don’t hesitate to do a bit of self care, too. How can you work on you?
How can you grow? How can you get more sleep? Or eat healthier? How can you take up a hobby you’ve been wanting to try? Or finally get together with those friends you haven’t seen in ages? What about exercising more? Or mediation? Or volunteering? Or digging into some of your own issues that you have put off understanding better?
My point is that there are so many marriages that are not train wrecks, but one spouse is feeling restless and discouraged that the other spouse doesn’t want to put more effort into the relationship. Can you relate to this?
There’s nothing glaring that is compelling you to question your commitment to the marriage. And you have every reason to believe it’s just a season. Things will turn around eventually, and the two of you will be back on track, both pouring into the nurturing the marriage.
But in the meantime, you can’t stay stuck in a frustrated or negative attitude either.
So what are you going to do about it? If you can’t work on your marriage, will you work on you?
Copyright 2020, Julie Sibert. Intimacy in Marriage Blog. Links may be monetized.