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While I was shopping one day, I found a comical birthday card that on the front read, “We’re Really Just Celebrating Your Mom’s Missed Period.” Oh my. So true.
Some of you have had wonderful moms and/or stepmoms who did all kinds of amazing things, like create lasting memories and legacies and laughter and love. Whether she was your mom by birth or adoption or marriage, she took the calling with heart.
I am grateful for my mom and stepmom, as both have had such great influence on my life. Some of you have had moms who were not loving or caring, either because of their own struggles (self-imposed or inflicted upon them) or because of selfishness or who knows what. I am not naive. I know if this was your lot as far as the mom you had, this day may ring bittersweet to you.
Some of you have had grandmothers who filled the role of mom, likely out of necessity when your mom either couldn’t or wouldn’t step up to the plate and do the day-to-day. Some of you have had surrogate mamas—a woman who had no “official” relation to you, but she took you under her wing. She did mom things. She soothed, loved, counseled, laughed, and celebrated. She stood in the gap when you needed someone to stand in the gap.
Some of you have had dads who had to be mom too, at least as much as one parent could fill the role of two. Maybe your mom died or left when you were still growing up, and your dad took the reins of doing all the parenting himself.
Some of you have had various combinations of the above, at one time or another, as you made your way from birth to now. And some of you traversed childhood pretty much on your own, literally no mom at your side as you drifted from home to home. You pieced together a foundation that no one was there to give you. It was likely hard fought to get where you are today.
And if you are a mom—or if you long to be one—my heart is tender for you as well. For some, this day is joyous. For some, it is painful. My hope is that we can hold close with care our own journeys and the journeys of others—that we can celebrate the collective mothering that happens in our midst.
Copyright 2020, Julie Sibert. Intimacy in Marriage Blog. Links may be monetized. Never want to miss one of my posts? Subscribe via email on this page. And be sure to join my more than 10,000 followers on my Facebook page and 11,000 followers on Twitter.