authentic, intimacy, sexual intimacy, Uncategorized
Still Learning How to Be Married. Still Learning.
Apr
I just don’t think we ever stop learning how to be married.
I’m not too thrilled about that reality, mind you. It would be nice to reach a point of arrival, so to speak. A place where the learning isn’t… I don’t know… necessary?
But I’m not the same person he married all those years ago. And he’s not the same man. And we’re definitely not the same us.
That’s not such a bad thing. In fact, I look back on all the growth we’ve garnered along the way and I do feel wiser for it. Better equipped to do life. More resolved and more discerning.
I’m more grateful for the small joys, because let’s face it… sometimes there are seasons in marriage where you aren’t going to get any big joys. Nada. Gotta count the small ones and be genuinely grateful.
Are you still learning to be married?
The hope and prayer, of course, is we learn in a way that we understand independence and oneness in holy and profound ways. Sometimes the hard part is accepting that we as husband and wife are the ones who have to do the learning. Sure, we have access to insights from marriage experts and from the best Expert of all in the Lord. But the actual learning part is on us.
So the question I leave you today is this—What are you learning right now about what it means to be married?
For more reading, you can cruise through my list of past posts, as well as my page with a bunch of posts on orgasm.
And I have a 5 video series available on building better sex in your marriage. Great way to invest in your marriage! You can find out all about it at this link: Better Sex in Your Christian Marriage.
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To be in a good marriage we must forgive. Immediately is better.
Thank you for sharing how to be Married, it is a nice reminder of where my spouse and I were when we got married and how we have matured.
I agree with holy terror that forgiving is key when mistakes or misunderstandings do occur, but also having thought provoking conversations in how to be polite and good communicators to one another.
When agree to practice being polite, good communicators, we’ll soon discover that anger and rudeness completely disappears and can turn a disagreement or a different point of view into an intellectual conversation where solutions are easily discovered and minds are emotionally stimulating one another.
Weird “stuff” doesn’t enter our minds as we become clearer thinkers and more accepting to our spouses at the same time.
I wish I was mentored as a child by parents that were emotionally connected and practiced being more considerate to each other, but then they grew up with parents that weren’t mentored by their parents either.
I hope we can break the generational and societal grip that seems to be haunting marriages in America. We are taking responsibility for the mistakes of bad communicating, but explaining that we grew up being being surrounded by lousy communicators, even though we didn’t know it at the time.
Yesterday, I saw something in the kitchen, that never made sense to me. I go, “this is really stupid”. After a short little exchange of words, (no yelling or cursing) we caught each other in our tracks and within a minute we expressed “what are we doing?” then exchanged mutual apologies and then laughed and later shared a few “I love you’s” about 6 times throughout the rest of the day. As we don’t want to do anything to mentally wound one another’s mind. It took us 40 years to reach this point. Looking back, we should’ve discovered it before I proposed.