Falling in love. There is nothing quite like falling in love.
Do you remember what it was like when you craved just to be near your spouse? Did you have a hard time keeping your hands off each other?
Physical desire for the person you love tends to be quite intense early in a relationship.
Researchers for decades have scrutinized, theorized and explored the idiosyncrasies of what’s going on when two people fall in love, including what’s going on with them physically. The word “chemistry” is tossed around a lot to describe this physical attraction.
But who really cares what research says when you are in the throes of early love?! All the confirmation you need is welling up in your heart, mind and body. You don’t need research papers and study results. You’re living it! It’s almost palpable—this yearning to be close to each other.
And what do we make of sexual attraction in these early days, months and years?
Do you remember when you were drawn to each other when you were dating and engaged? Do you remember what it felt like to kiss or hold hands or sit next to each other?
And yes, I know that quite a few of you did a lot more than kiss and hold hands when you were dating and engaged. This is a judgment free zone, my friends. Anyone who has followed me for any length of time knows that while I do believe wholeheartedly that sex is for a husband and wife, I also believe with equal conviction that God is not in the business of holding our sins against us if we confess and repent.
Just hear my heart on this. Whether you had sex with each other before you were married or you waited until you were married, I imagine you can remember what it felt like to be so intensely attracted to each other physically, right?
While it’s not realistic (or even helpful) for a marriage to stay in the intensity of falling in love, I hear from many people who believe their marriage has drifted too far away from those days of strong attraction and arousal.
Are you reading this right now pining for those days? Have you forgotten what it was like to truly desire each other physically?
If so, what can you do to course correct? It’s not about getting back to exactly how things were back in the day. Nope. It’s not helpful to have that kind of expectation.
But what about something? Can you do something to rekindle your touch and desire to be close to each other? Can you carve out the space and effort to intentionally nurture your physical relationship?
I don’t know how that all plays out in your relationship. But I do know this. I know if you are like the majority of married couples, there was a time early in your relationship when you couldn’t keep your hands off each other.
Some how. Some way. Try to get a little of that back.
And I have a 5 video series available on building better sex in your marriage. Great way to invest in your marriage! You can find out all about it at this link: Better Sex in Your Christian Marriage.
Copyright 2020, Julie Sibert. Intimacy in Marriage Blog. Links may be monetized.