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My oldest son just turned 21, and I remember when he was a baby, we lived near a large cemetery here in Omaha.
I know this may sound morbid, but a cemetery is the perfect place to walk with a stroller because there is virtually no traffic, and if there are any cars, they are moving slowly.
Walking up and down the roads in the cemetery, pushing my little baby, I would glance at the grave markers I could see. It struck me how many young people die.
Of course, back then, I thought “young” only meant people under 25, but when I visit our area cemeteries on Memorial Day now, I have grown to see that 30s, 40s and 50s also seem “young.”
Another way to look at it is that roughly every 100 years, the entire population of the earth turns over. Someone who is a newborn right now and someone who is 100 right now — and every person in between those two — well, 100 years from now, not one of those people will likely be here.
Roughly 7,500,000,000 people live on the earth! Wow! And 100 years from now, all of those people will be dead, with the exception of the minuscule number of people who are newborns now and will live beyond age 100. But from a statistical standpoint, 7.5 billion people who are here right now won’t be here then, including you and me.
Oodles and oodles and oodles of people — all your neighbors, relatives, coworkers, acquaintances, all the strangers you see in cars and stores, all the thousands of people who fill sports arenas and churches and movie theaters and campgrounds and Six Flags Amusement Parks and Elton John’s farewell concert tour — yep, all will be gone.
It’s a staggering thought, really.
Life is short.
I’m nearing 50. As of late, I’ve been saying to my friends, “How many years do we really have left, anyway?” I say it laughing and with a “duh” tone in my voice. Real melodramatic. They usually laugh too when I say this, but I’m kinda funny serious in a don’t-wait-to-live sort of way.
Some people grow weary about growing older. I continually am restless about living fully now. Who cares what happens 5, 10 or 20 years from now? What are we doing to fully live today?!
Yes, I get it that maybe you and your beloved have issues. Stuff you have to work through. Disconnect that is sabotaging any real desire to have sex. So if that describes your marriage and the two of you know things aren’t quite as they should be and you need to get healthy and heal and grow close again, well then do that.
Sex will proportionally become more likely if you at least do what you can to shore up cracks in the relational foundation.
Make the effort toward getting healthy. Make intimacy a priority rather than something you get around to someday.
Someday may never show up, at least not in the perfect-circumstance sort of way you keep looking for over the horizon. Someday. Someday. Someday. Enough already. What about now?
Copyright 2019, Julie Sibert. Intimacy in Marriage Blog. Links may be monetized.