authentic, intimacy, marriage problems, sexual intimacy, sexual intimacy struggles, Uncategorized
New Book to Help You Awaken Love and Nurture Sex in Your Marriage
Sep
Today’s post comes from Ruth Buezis, another champion for healthy sexual intimacy in marriage! She recently released a book, Awaken Love: The Truth About Sex that Will Transform Your Marriage.
I have read the book and think it’s a full of great insights and encouragement, so even if you don’t win the free copy, invest in yourself and marriage by buying a copy of it!
*** UPDATE on the winner of the free book… it was Jonathan from California! Thanks to all who commented!
Read on as Ruth shares…
I don’t have a dramatic story like some people. I am just an ordinary woman that through very normal circumstances went looking for deeper intimacy, not only with my husband, but with God.
After a study on Song of Songs, I intuitively knew that figuring out sex was part of the answer. But I don’t think I had any idea how profoundly it would change my life. Working on my sex life transformed me and my marriage, and I have spent the last six years sharing that truth in classes, on my blog and now in my book Awaken Love: The Truth About Sex that will Transform Your Marriage.
My husband and I have been blessed with a pretty easy marriage. A couple of rational engineers raised in stable Christian families, we get along well. But in retrospect, we had a safe marriage. We didn’t bring up hard things, share our insecurities, pray together, and we didn’t talk about sex.
After getting married, we figured out what worked and we just stuck with it. When I felt bored, I would simply imagine the two of us on a deserted beach and create the boost I needed to finish. Honestly, sex didn’t interest me much except during those twice a month hormone surges. I controlled when we had sex, based on my physical drive. For me, sex simply satisfied a physical need.
But God created sex for a lot more than pleasure or orgasm. Sex mysteriously binds me to my husband, refreshes me, and communicates things that words cannot. It is a way that my husband and I get to know each other, physically, emotionally and even spiritually.
Now I reach for my husband if I feel stressed, sad or lonely. When I feel disconnected from him, I know that we need to escape from the world and make love. Sex has drastically changed from something I did for my husband or to simply satisfy a physical need, to an amazing connection. But it takes work.
Part of my transformation required me to unravel the lies that I believed about sex, myself and even my husband. Constantly bombarded with messages about sex, my lens had changed without me even noticing.
I also had to face my baggage, past situations and messages that caused brokenness. Until I brought them into the light, shame held me hostage. I had things I needed to repent of and other things I needed to pray over. Talking and praying together over sex was hard, but it created intimacy and ultimately brought freedom.
My husband and I also had to work to create a sex life that I loved. Rather than just getting to the finish line, I wanted to create real intimacy. Instead of relying on mechanics, we focused on connection. Sex became a place of discovery instead of a destination. We started talking about sex, sharing more of ourselves, using words to create excitement and tapping into our senses. Sex became something that I craved and it completely changed my marriage.
I never imagined that I would one day write a book about sex. Of course, I also didn’t plan to teach Christian sex classes. But God has a funny sense of humor.
After my transformation, I knew I had to share what I had learned with others. In 2012 I started teaching Awaken Love, a 6-week sex class for wives based on my own transformation. What started as a small group of friends gathering on my back porch has since spread by word of mouth to impact over 1,200 women.
I love teaching classes and watching the changes as women uncover the lies they’ve believed, heal from baggage, and learn the truth about sex. In safe communities, we support each other as we discover freedom in the marriage bed. Videos classes are also available that allow women from all over the world to experience transformation.
I decided to write Awaken Love to remember where I came from and what God has done in my life and in the lives of women in class. It is a book to help you find freedom yourself and also to testify to God’s goodness.
Jesus cares about your sex life. He wants to provide healing, newness and growth as you step into God’s plan for your marriage bed. Filled with real life stories, respectful information, and practical application, Awaken Love will inspire you to create a sex life that leads to deep intimacy. Don’t settle for the status quo. God wants more for you.
Copyright 2018, Julie Sibert. Intimacy in Marriage Blog. Links may be monetized.
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This sounds like an incredible resource for those of us striving to build intimacy in our marriage. I believe sex in marriage brings a husband and wife together so intimately, so completely in a way nothing else does. The closeness that sex brings is not only a physical closeness, but most definitely an emotional and spiritual closeness as well. I find that as our sex life improves, so does every single other facet of our marriage and our lives.
Sex definitely created a closeness that sustains your marriage through the rough times. We track how often we make love on a shared calendar and the visual helps to remind us if we need to get back on track. We would love to read Ruth’s book!
Sounds like an excellent resource for married couples looking to find true intimacy. Definitely something I need to read.
Where Ruth was sounds like where I am now. My husband has struggles with porn. He is working with God’s help to overcome this. We don’t make love like we used to. But I am at the point where I want to connect with him again. To not just have sex for orgasm sake. I am tired of going through the mechanics of it all. I desire more more for us. This book sounds like just what I need.
Well my sex life has been non-exisrant for 2 years hubs decided without conversation that he was done
Can’t wait to read this book
As a newly wed with health problems that have dramatically deterred us from sexual intimacy, I have already seen how it has impacted our marriage. I am working on communicating availablility despite lack of drive and past discomfort because I know that God perscribed it for marriage as a blessing and the glue that binds man and wife together in a way nothing else can. Even with recently initiating sex, though never getting passed foreplay, I could tell how much happier & affectionate my husband was for days after. I would love to read this book and discover the blessing sexual intimacy was meant to be.
I believe sex brings a couple closer together and enriches the relationship.
Sounds like a great read!
Always looking for another great read!
Sex is the God given gift that will bond you with your spouse like nothing else can do!
sex can ultimately make or break a marriage. if not handled with care and true diligence, like a ticking time bomb, (even among christian couples)can destroy those closest to it. It must be nurtured an taken seriously.
My second husband and I are in our 60’s and have been married 3 years. I do not compare them but I remember the wonderful closeness–emotionally and spiritually in addition to physical– I’d experienced during love making, while currently there is only physical sex. He was raised with no affection and has not learned it in six decades. I’m hoping your book will help me to awaken our love.
This sounds like a great book.
I can’t wait to read this book!
The author, Ruth, brings up a strong point that seems to be too easily overlooked in this age. There is great power in sex and intemacy in a marriage. This may be one of the biggest divisions that the devil tries to form to pull a marriage apart. There are too often stagnas and socially constructed view points about the definition of what sex really is and too often this can form a division between God’s desire of a couple truly being one. This sounds like a great read for any married Christian couples and individuals. This is definitely a topic that i wish to further study to help enrich my marriage and to help other married couples as well. Logically speaking, if there wasn’t true value and blessings in sex within a marriage then why would there be an entire section of The Bible devoted to it?…
This book is so necessary! We’re really looking forward to discussing this great book within our community.
Sex is a beautiful creation of God and I’m so grateful He made this as one way to strengthen and enhance marriage!
Sounds like a counseling resource!!