authentic, body image, intimacy, marriage problems, sexual intimacy, sexual intimacy struggles, Uncategorized
When It Comes to Sex in Marriage, What Would YOU Like Me to Blog About?
Feb
Many of you are faithful readers. Some of you are landing on this page for the first time.
Regardless of how you ended up here, what I most want to know today is what YOU would like to see me blog about with regard to sexual intimacy in marriage.
I’m not running out of ideas, but I do appreciate the perspective of others and certainly want to keep good dialogue going on this vital area of nurturing sex in marriage.
Are there questions you are dying to ask, but just haven’t found the right forum to do that?
MANY marriages struggle. I get that. MANY Christians have questions about sex and they don’t know where to turn. I get that, too.
So here is your opportunity to give me some feedback. And it’s my opportunity to expand my list of topics. We all win. Yeah us!
If you have a topic idea, you can post it anonymously in the comment section. Remember, I moderate my comments (meaning they don’t appear immediately because I get so much spam, being a sex blogger and all). So, if you comment, I will definitely get it and approve all the comments accordingly.
As the comments start to appear, they may trigger even more ideas you had not thought of that you would like to see me write upon. So maybe you’ll be commenting more than once with even more ideas.
That. Would. Be. Awesome.
So let’s do this thing, okay?!! GO!
Copyright 2018, Julie Sibert. Intimacy in Marriage Blog. Links may be monetized.
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Betrayal disputes! Long time reader and sexless marriage suffering man. Wife discovered copies of papers i copied from 7 years ago about sexless marriages. She claims i betrayed her trust. I feel i was trying to figure out what to do to help our suffering marriage. I try to talk to her but her perfectionism, never ever saying she is sorry for anything, and defensiveness, prevent open dialog and communication.
can couples sexual intimacy improve by spiritually fast together
How do you make sex have more meaning for a person if it’s really never done much for them emotionally, spiritually, or physically for that matter?
Been married over 30 years, plenty of practice.
Yes, orgasms and letting go sexually has been part of the picture but not part of the answer.
Sharing sex has always been just that, sharing sex.
How do you make it have more meaning?
Frustrated Husband of 22 years, not sexless, but not in a great flow.
How to have my wife read, understand and absorb positive advice. If I bring up the intimacy issue, my wife goes to the extreme that I should just be happy with what we have after years of marriage. If I explain it means more than just sex, as addressed in your blog, it seems to fall on deaf ears.
If I send her one of your blog posts that would speak to how I feel, you say it better than I do, I get flack and am told not to send her such things. When we are together, it’s wonderful, but it’s like I have to beg and on and on.
She claims there are no issues, just tired, headache, need to get up early. I am just at a loss. Two kids are over 18 now.
There is no pain or physical issues. She is taken care of as she desires first. I help with chores, we both work, no infidelity or porn issues. Sometimes I’m told she wants to not have to think about when or for me to initiate, but if I initiate, there are reasons of not tonight, not here, not in the morning ect.
Another issue, she wont play dress up from time to time. She says she will gladly wear it if I but it. I buy it, it sits in the drawer. I dont know when to wear it? Wear it tonight honey. Not tonight. States she will gladly wear a sexy outfit me, but she doesn’t. Makes no sense.
Lastly, I feel like my wife will do anything for grown kids at home, but not for me. She can watch TV shows with kids, she claims she does not enjoy, but not with me. She could go out at night to get a ice cream for one of the grown kids that says they are in the mood for ice cream, but wont go out and get me something if I made the same request. In effect, kid wants pizza, off to get pizza. I say how about burgers tonight, she says its late, or some other reason not going out.
Perhaps this is a vent, as opposed to a topic.
1) Women, listen to advice and your husband?
2) If you don’t mind play dress up or state what the issue is.
3) Don’t favor your kids and ignore your husband.
Thanks,
Hi Julie. I can’t possible express how much I appreciate your excellent work. About three years ago I did a google search for sex in christian marriage. Your blog popped right up and I’ve been reading you faithfully since.
Please consider writing about the relationship between a gatekeeping wife and her husband’s porn habit. I believe the porn sin is clearly the husband’s. What culpability, if any, rests on the wife?
Day to day intimacy, not just sexual but in all areas. How to live intimately together in all of life and being all in in marriage.
I would like to know your opinion on sexual refusal and/or gatekeeping in the marriage bed. Is it sinful? Is it similar in severity (damage to the marriage relationship) to the sins of porn and adultery
I am in a completely isolated place in my marriage. After 15 years of marriage and three kids My spouse has admitted that she is questioning if same sex attraction is something she struggles with. we have had close to zero intimacy for our entire marriage and sex is the scariest place for her to go in her life. No blogger, counselor or pastor wants to address this issue and I have no idea how to move forward and begin to work through these issues. I have no one to talk to and no where to turn because this isn’t exactly an issue that I can share w a friend without causing significant pain to my wife. I’d love for you to address it.
Hi Julie,
Your blog and your book “Purusit of Passion are both great resources! Thank you (and your husband) for reaching out to those of us who have struggled, are struggling, or will eventually struggle with sexual intimacy. I feel God is working through you in a power way! Here are some topic suggestions:
1) Short testimonies from wives on how they learned to ENJOY sex with their husbands.
2) How to deal with selfishness on behalf of both husbands and wives which prevents intimacy spiritually, emotionally, and sexually.
3) More about God’s design for mutual sexual fulfillment.
4) How to reach out to a wife (or husband) who has their spiritual and emotional needs fulfilled in the marriage, doesn’t care about her own sexual fulfillment, and may not even want to even discuss it.
5) Wives who think they are doing their husband a favor by having sex with them, but have no idea how much their husband feels unwanted, unloved and even rejected if her heart, soul, and body are not all present.
Crazy that all of these, apparently except one, are from men! Oh, and…. I’m a guy.
1. How to talk about having a deeper sexual relationship with a woman who’s perfectly happy with the way things are.
2. How to talk to a woman when E.D. strikes.
I would like to know how a great sexual relationship at the beginning of a marriage can peeter out. What things can cause passionate sexual intimacy to fade and why? I would think that if it was sexually satisfying and emotionally fulfilling, those two things would keep the passionate momentum flowing. Why does that frequently die?
How do you get a hyper defensive wife to simply acknowledge the genuine pain of limited unenthusiastic sex. Wife is in complete denial of my suffering because she cant handle not being perfect.Been going on for decades.
As I alluded to in my comment on another post, I enjoy sex that is at a more aggressive pace. I think when it comes down to exploring sexuality, that is something worth talking about. There is a tremendous amount of information about positions, but what about pace? Sometimes one or both may want to go harder, but don’t about it out of fear or something. I’d love this discussed.