What five words would you use to describe sex in your marriage?
Whether they are positive, negative, just an observation or a combination thereof, please scroll down to the comment section and put in your five words.
I’m anxious to see what words you all share.
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What five words would you use to describe sex in your marriage?
Copyright 2013, Julie Sibert. Intimacy in Marriage Blog.
89 thoughts on “Five Words to Describe Sex in Your Marriage”
So hopeless I’ve given up.
Missing, unsatisfactory, unwanted, unimportant,
Exciting, improving, exploratory, sometimes frustrating. 🙂
What sex? I’ve given up.
Exciting, sizzling, hot, sensual, passionate!!! Married 20 yrs.
Spicy, frequent, passionate, worship, bonding.
Soul-fusing, foundational, haven-ish, steady, and fun.
(My past self would tell you that it hasn’t always been this way. My present self tells you that it’s possible. With care and work. Yes, work, with heavy doses of honest communication and love. But, never, ever give up.)
Holy, glorious, orgasmic, bonding, tender. (Married over 30yrs.)
fulfilling, passionate, loving, giving, satifsying
Frequent, diverse/kinky, passionate, fulfilling (Married 25 years, but endured many years of refusal to get here.)
sporadic, bland, lacking, difficult, un-inspired
Growing, learning, forgiving, loving, beautiful.
confusing, frustrating, amazing, growing, foundational
18 years of no sex
She has totally shut off
Warm, learning, de-stressing, silly, peaceful.
She’s not that into me.
passionate, selfless, glorifying, breathtaking, cementing.
-married 6 years, wasn’t always that way until I realized what my rejection of him truly meant to him. Now i feel like I am the one blessed and always looking forward to each new day 🙂
Passionate, exciting, bonding, too infrequent 😉
I orgasm more than you. (Just kidding. You knew I couldn’t play it straight, right?)
Serious answer: Consistent, Intimate, Intense, Holy, Playful.
Oh my gosh @J… you totally crack me up. As always. 🙂
I must add completely over the top fulfilling. Ladies, (and gentlemen), please be honest with your spouse about your desires and needs. If those desires and needs go unheard, PLEASE seek help before its too late. Sex is a gift from God…enjoy it to its fullest within the boundaries if your marriage. Have fun…explore your spouse….don’t be selfish. Our marriage took a long time to get here. I wish we would have been honest wih each other from he start because then, our entire sex life would have been incredible! Now married 25 years and our sex life is exceptional 🙂
I have a sexless marriage
playful, exploring, loving, sexy, learning to cope with medically induced ED
Infrequent. Lacklustre. Boring. Sad. Rejection.
unimportant, infrequent, unsatisfying, frustrating, sad
HOT, daily, passionate, erotic, OURS.
Married almost 32 years. It’s been this way less than a year, but we’re making our next 30 years fantastic. I’ve never withheld sex, ever, as I see that as a sin against my husband or at least a stumbling block to lead him to sin, but sex was always a chore & boring & there was never much foreplay which always made me feel used and unattractive. Over the years, I came to deplore the act and tried to be as uninvolved as possible. We married young- 18 & 19, knew NOTHING about sex and who do you ask?! I just knew I was supposed to do it. Being young we were both selfish & immature and then life happened. My husband became a doctor, we purchased a clinic, we had 6 children, I home educated etc., etc., but we were still selfish & immature sexually. This past summer, I decided life was just too freaking short to continue to have crappy sex for the rest of my days so I just took control of it even though it was WAY out of my comfort zone. Now, the more I give, the more I get and we rock each other’s worlds! Thank you Julie for your blog. I wish I could encourage wives to do what I did and choose to change themselves. Really, this is the ONLY life you get. Marriage & sex ARE gifts. What kind of a stupidhead gets a gift and doesn’t use it? I did, until I realized I was a stupidhead. No more of that for me.
Restorative, Fun, Special, Exclusive, Passionate
Predictable, infrequent, frustrating, but improving
HOT!!!, loving, FUN, relaxing, completely-mind-blowing!! 🙂 This after 12 years.
Rare, heartless, misunderstood, wishing, selfish
Intimate, warm, loving, comfortable, fun.
We have been married for ten years, with plenty of growth together. We’ve had six kids in this time, which has made maturing in patience, flexibility, and love all the more essential.
Helpfull to us (in addition to loving eachother) has been that we have learned not onlythe sexual cycle of our monthly rhythm while fertile, but also the ~24mo cycle of sexuality during our childbearing years.
Wow!!! The swing from hi to low is extreme. The lows are really gut wrenching. The highs are almost unbelievable.
I find the very small middle ground interesting.
Connecting. Evolving. Fun. Sharing. Transcendent.
I am also a stupidhead in recovery. After denying my husband the sex life he wanted for about a decade, I finally got over myself. Now we deal with ED and possible low testosterone, and we are still figuring out our new patterns of sexual interaction. This is the happiest I’ve ever been in my marriage of more than twenty years.
My heart hurts reading some of these comments. Reminds me how much my stupidheadedness hurt the man I love. I had no idea that what I was really missing out on was not orgasms, but true intimacy and a chance to be part of something bigger than myself.
Boring, lacking, uneventful, pathetic & careless…!
Nonexistent, hurtful, sexless, pasionless, frustrated (married 16yrs to a porn addict, and HATE it! So lonely) I have wanted to leave, but have been reminded by my pastor that this is a covenant with God, not just my husband.
not worth the effort, tiring
These replies are fascinating. I guess only the extremes would reply. Where there is loving sex the responses give lots of hope, albeit with initial envy. If only more Christian women would get their act together and be the sensual woman God’s word requires.
Redeemed. Awestruck. Glue. Immeasurably more.
To “Frustrated” above. I am sorry for this agony you endure. Hang in there. I have felt your pain and loneliness. Work as hard as you can to heal from these offenses against you and pray for God to restore the porn addict. It is possible… and if you get to witness that restoration it will build your faith to watch the transformation. God will surely honor your faithfulness even if your spouse never defeats this enslaving sin. I just want to offer you hope that it can be different 🙂
Always refuses, it really hurts.
Spiritual, sporadic, dutiful, disappointing, unilateral