Five Words to Describe Sex in Your Marriage

What five words would you use to describe sex in your marriage?

Be honest.

Be real.

Whether they are positive, negative, just an observation or a combination thereof, please scroll down to the comment section and put in your five words.

I’m anxious to see what words you all share.

I moderate my comments, so I have to hit “okay” before they go live (this prevents spam from filling up my site).

If you want, you can be anonymous. You don’t have to give your name.

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What five words would you use to describe sex in your marriage?

Copyright 2013, Julie Sibert. Intimacy in Marriage Blog.

89 thoughts on “Five Words to Describe Sex in Your Marriage

  1. Jason says:


    I am sure your husband views your reflection with appreciation and awe, and if he doesn’t he really should.

    Praise God that you saw what this means to your man early in your marriage, I am sure it will pay continually and for the long life of your relationship. You should hold classes for ladies.

  2. Jaby says:

    This is probably the only area where we’ve never had an issue, but the frequency could use adjusting!

    Amazing, fulfilling (for us both), exciting, creative, unselfish!

  3. Anonymous Please says:

    @ Anthony:

    I find your comment both unkind and unfair. It is not always the wife who is “the problem” and in many cases, one spouse has some very difficult issues to overcome. It takes patience, communication, and acceptance from BOTH spouses to create a satisfying sex life, even in the best of circumstances.

    In all fairness, I have no idea what your situation is, and cannot speak to your specific relationship. However, I know that if my dear husband approached me with a “you need to get your act together” attitude, it would be extremely difficult for me to desire him.

    With all due respect, it might be time for some honest self examination, my friend.

  4. Sad wife says:

    Infrequent, lonely, sad, frustrating, hurtful.

    As a fairly attractive woman I never dreamed I would be the one ignored and begging for attention. My husband is a workaholic, has gained a lot of weight and low testosterone levels. He has promised to try harder in the sex department, but things never seem to improve. He got a low testosterone diagnosis but will not take supplements. I want to be pursued and want to have a fulfilling, active sex life. I have pretty much given up and have been very tempted to go outside our marriage for attention. I know we need counseling and prayer, but my husband just thinks I’m obsessed with sex. I’m not. I would be happy with sex once or twice a week- not once or twice a month. Is that so unreasonable?? By the way, we have been married 18 years and I am 40.

  5. Anthony says:

    @ Anonymous Please

    I did not choose my words very carefully. Let me explain. It just seems as though there are many Christian marriages where the wife seems to be unwilling to help to work at what appears to be a marriage will little if any sexual intimacy. I understand that there can be many issues that need to be addressed and that both husband and wife may need to correct their behaviour and attitudes.
    In my situation my wife understands that we need to address our sexless marriage. She just will not.
    There really are no valid reasons for not trying or any issues that we can not solve. We are both 58 and have been together since 1977.She was unfaithful in the beginning for 5 yrs.

  6. Anthony says:

    I love my wife and am hugely turned on when I see her naked. I tell her. However I can not give her pleasure as she holds me at arms length. We are great friends.

  7. McKenzie says:

    @Jason, Thank you so much for your kind words! I really have to give a lot of credit to this blog and my husbands prayers! It wasn’t until the bizillonth argument on sex that I started to search the Internet for Christian sex advice to actually give me ammo for all the reasons why I DIDN’T have to have sex like my husband wanted. Boy was I way wrong in my mindset! I think when you set out to try and change someone else it’s at that time God changes YOU! We were able to have a wonderful conversation that was frank and honest and we both had our eyes opened. Ever since then we have had an Amazing sex life! It has gone from almost non existent to almost daily ( this with two under two)! I wish more women would read this blog and more men would pray for their wives as hard as my husband prayed for me!

  8. Michael Jay says:


    Our sex life had been a low point for a while. Our physical incompatibility almost spelled the end for us because both of us need sexual relief on a regular basis. An agreement to do whatever it took to improve it and have pain-free sex has helped a lot.

    It’s awful seeing so many people not having good sex with their spouses. One thing we never experienced was a lack of desire for one another, and I hope we never do.

  9. joe says:

    Bad. Getting worse every MONTH.
    No progression. Always more regression.

    I never say no. She never says yes.

  10. joe says:

    Sometimes I wish I could swap wives with some of these women in sexless marriages. I know better, I’m just being real and venting.

  11. Jason says:

    @ Joe, real is encouraged but all to rare and it is understandable on all accounts. I wish you the best. A wise man once gave me counsel and I will share:

    Between you and your wife is Jesus. Look him in the face when you are angry or resentful. You are telling him all the things you have to complain about and he is telling you, “how are we?” I have had to repeat that to myself over and over. Believe I know your pain. I am living it every day. I still fight resentment and anger; I struggle to not lash out in hurt and anger. We talk now and again about it but the fact remains we want different things for our sex life and it is a daily struggle just to meet somewhere in the space between. Blessings

  12. Newly Married says:

    Married less than 7 months :
    Loving, AMAZING, anticipated, daily, bonding.
    Never knew marriage would be so amazing or that God would give such a desire. Praising HIM for it every day!

  13. Chris says:

    Painful, no intimacy, heartless, boring

    Married little more than a year, both virgins when we got married.

  14. Nicole says:

    Restored ( after a painful sexual past for myself/ and past porn addiction for my husband)!
    Frequent 😉

  15. Ron says:


    I love Pleasanthome advice, “Really, this is the ONLY life you get. Marriage & sex ARE gifts” I think that is why the wife and I are now making the most of everything, sex including and other things. A great marriage and sex is a gift, it makes everything else seem not so important and that we can stand together and face about anything.

  16. LavaidaVandelia says:

    committed, better, cyclical, fulfilling, bonding

    (this after 25 years of marriage (both virgins) and 4 kids- with a 12 year spread; lots of grace still needed; we grow together; ups and downs; we take turns both leading AND being frustrated 🙂 )

  17. Knocked down but getting up... says:

    Belittling, denying w/justifying, walking on egg shells, non-communicative and drunk 24/7

    You have NO idea on how bad I want my “wife” back. Massive deaths in her family, menopause, work load stress and school work load…

    Yeah.. fun fun fun….

  18. 12YearsMarried@37Years says:

    Frustrating, Disappointing, NotWorthTrying, OnlyWhenSheWants, BetterNotToGetMarried

  19. TooStupidtoLeaveYearsAgo says:

    Lacking, disappointing, onlywhenhewanted(once a quarter), enduredfor25years, LEAVING!

  20. Dickinson Trickle says:

    What Sex? It’s non existing!!
    Married for 3 years and no Sex. Time to move on to someone else!

  21. Brian says:

    Work. (Both been too much work to get and I’m putting in even more work these days because I haven’t given up, so I’m…)

  22. Topper says:

    1. Seasonal (as in four times a year if I am lucky and obedient)
    2. Predictable (her same way, her same time)
    3. Nuisance (to her)
    4. Dispassionate (not because of me)
    5. Mechanical

  23. Pingback: What 5 Words | My Journey In Sexual Addiction And Recovery

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